@MotorcycleChick
I have had the opportunity to experience some significant grief in my life, and this is something I learned, and a way I learned to think about it and understand it that helped me a lot.
Grief is like a gravitational body that you are in an elliptical orbit around. At first, you are orbiting it so tightly and quickly that you are close to the pain almost constantly, and it seems that you can't escape. But as time passes, the orbit gets larger like a spiral, little bit by little bit, and the times in between the pain get longer, and longer, and longer. It gets better. But the important thing is that with a significant loss, you are never over it - you are always in an orbit around it, and you just get longer and longer periods between the times that you are "close" to it. And with experience over time, you are able to approach these times of "closeness" with a certain degree of reflection, and potentially further personal growth.
I still am surprised at times, almost stunned, at how painful it can be to recall my own personal loss, and it was over 20 years ago. But the point, and the reason I'm saying all this, is that one is never "over it", and even if one is advised to "move on", it will always be with you, and will "move on" with you. The important thing to realize is that that isn't some sort of personal failure not to have "gotten over" something that was tragic and filled with grief for you. You incorporate it into your life, and continue as best you can - as a changed person.
- Ant Farm