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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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I was careful to learn the banding when I was a kid. Although I never saw a coral snake on our farm.
"Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in... I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3."
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:
CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Charlie) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.
CHILI # 2 - EL RANCHO'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
CHILI # 3 - ALFREDO'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting red-faced from all of the beer.
CHILI # 4=2 0- BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 400 lb. Woman is starting to look HOT ... Just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
CHILI # 6 - VARGA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.
CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 -- No report.
Chili sounds good. But why are the cook-offs always in extremely hot weather?MAN now I want some chili....and I like it HOT!!!!
I like it so hot your ears hurt.....not wanting a lot just one bowl....but yeah HOT!!!!
REMEMBER I'm the guy who ate a Carolina Reaper pepper live last year right here on BYC.....![]()
My wife's favorites are 'Scorned Woman', 'Rio Grande Mud', and 'Carolina Butt Burner'.Go online, and order Arizona Gunslinger. They have hot sauce, steak sauce, honey mustard, BBQ sauce, popcorn, olives, salsa...
It isn't hotter, so much as a better taste. No vinegar taste.
WWW.AZGunslinger.Com
I get the jalapeno sauce by the gallon.
Just finishing up the paleo pancakes this morning smothered in heated blueberries.I love rhubarb syrup on pancakes.....
I feel your pain.This incubator is very strange. Every few days, it either spikes or drops, depending on which way I turned the thermostat last time. A few days ago, it jumped to 102. I caught it and turned the thermostat down a quarter turn. It went stable at 100. Now, this morning, I woke up and it was at 97! I turned it up a quarter turn, and it is back at 100. It is like a delayed reaction?![]()
Ambient temp has been the same.
-Banti
It's so warm here, I've already unplugged the brooder. I'm putting the 2 youngest in with those a week older today. I moved one of the older ones in with the littles as a tutor to teach eating and drinking.Was just in messing with the chicks; hanging one hand down into the brooder getting them comfortable with human contact. Noticed for the 1st time that all 5 of hem have the feathered shanks; not just the black one. Kinda neat! First time I've been able to have them up close & not running all over the brooder or huddled under the bulbs @ the far end.
no nothing like that....just normal stuff weighing heavy on my mind.....it'll pass.....life aint a rose garden
Good morning everyone!!MAN now I want some chili....and I like it HOT!!!!
I like it so hot your ears hurt.....not wanting a lot just one bowl....but yeah HOT!!!!
REMEMBER I'm the guy who ate a Carolina Reaper pepper live last year right here on BYC.....![]()
Good for feathered shanks! Glad they are getting friendly.Was just in messing with the chicks; hanging one hand down into the brooder getting them comfortable with human contact. Noticed for the 1st time that all 5 of hem have the feathered shanks; not just the black one. Kinda neat! First time I've been able to have them up close & not running all over the brooder or huddled under the bulbs @ the far end.
Still alive is good news.I did candle, and the eggs are still alive (seeing if I had to lockdown now, or later, when I get home) so it can't be too terrible...
Well, today began early with culling the wry tail NN boy - I had kept putting it off and putting it off, and he hast been too terrible to the girls, but I need to worm the girls in that pen (and wanted to cull before that so I wouldn't have to worry about the withdrawal). It went fine, but it's always a crappy day to start the day. Dry plucked him, which wasn't so bad - I wouldn't do it for any other than NN, I don't think, but it was a lot easier than dealing with heating the water, and I get to keep the skin. He was 16 weeks - I didn't weigh him (I will later), but certainly a better size than if I hadn't waited (esp. since part of the reason the cockerels in that group are being culled are that they aren't large enough to keep for breeding).
He's resting in the fridge, and I'm having waffles and coffee. LOTS of coffee! I did the whole thing BEFORE my morning coffee (because I needed to get it over with early). What is it about coffee that if you don't have it in the morning, you need two or three times as much afterwards?! I need to make another pot...
Benny, I don't want goats as a surrogate for babies - I don't want babies, personally. I want milk. The kids are cute, though.![]()
Good morning
@Sally Sunshine
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Duckies Girls Fire Ant FarmMotorcycleChick gotro17kwhites634 tao chick
-Kathy
Quote: I'm sorry.![]()
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I hope it passes soon Phil.
Good morning everyone.![]()
BantyChooks MotorcycleChick Pensmaster gotro17 kwhites634 sasafras4u2
Looks like a good day here to get things done...... As I sit with my coffee yes MC decaf.
Happy birthday Gotro
Good morning Pensmaster, how the broody hens doing? I took eggs away from one the other day, and 2 more today. They're from the wrong flock.
Morning Phil. Got you covered here.![]()
That's OK.
I usually post days after a conversation ends.
50 dead and over 50 wounded, many critically in an Orlando Florida nightclub overnight.
I was careful to learn the banding when I was a kid. Although I never saw a coral snake on our farm.
![]()
I was trying to read it and was laughing and crying so hard I couldn't see any more.
Chili sounds good. But why are the cook-offs always in extremely hot weather?
My wife's favorites are 'Scorned Woman', 'Rio Grande Mud', and 'Carolina Butt Burner'.
Just finishing up the paleo pancakes this morning smothered in heated blueberries.
There's no flour in them - just applesauce, eggs, cashew butter and a little cinnamon.
I feel your pain.
It's so warm here, I've already unplugged the brooder. I'm putting the 2 youngest in with those a week older today. I moved one of the older ones in with the littles as a tutor to teach eating and drinking.
No it's not.
In my case, most is self inflicted.
Good morning everyone!!
Phil, I love hot stuff, but chili is one thing that I like less hot.
I fermented some peppers last year. Thought around Christmas I'd use the fermented peppers to make hot sauce. I never did. All 4 jars are still happily fermenting away.
They are all saying "if" this is a terrorist attack....what did he have to have it tattooed on his freaking forehead
no nothing like that....just normal stuff weighing heavy on my mind.....it'll pass.....life aint a rose garden
BBIAB
Don't nobody go away.
MC, you're in charge 'til I get back