Is there something wrong with me?

[oldrooster]

My mother insisted on naming me after her father, because her family disliked the fact she got married and got pregnant immediately afterward (I was born 9 months after my parents married a year after they met fist marriage for each no shack ups) I have 10 older male 1st cousins and 1 male 1st cousin once removed all 3+ years older than myself (yes all born before my parents met). My grandfather had a really really odd name and everyone who has seen my name 100% of the time ask how is that pronounced or If they are told the name how is that spelled? and every single person says they have never heard of it before. All except my family on mom's side.
I have been told I am evil, the spawn of satan and much worse because I have refused to use my first name since high school and they say I am disrespectful to my grandfather for not using it. he died 5 months after I got out of school. I tell them if I am disrespectful they are much more so for not naming his 10 grand sons and 1 great grandson who where born before my parents even met that name. I am told that's not the point I am evil for not using that name and what's funny is 90% of the time when I get invitations to graduations and weddings and such from my cousins they misspell my first name and all my family refuses to use my middle name for the following reasons.
1) my middle name is not my legal name even tho its on my birth certificate, ss card, drivers license, selective service card, cc permit, high school and college diplomas
2) even if it is my legal name it's illegal for me to use it (even tho my mom's oldest sister's husband and their youngest son use their middle names it is legal and okay for them to use middle names)
3) since I was named after my grandfather and he never used his middle name i can't use my middle name (even tho we have different middle names)
I've been told I'm not part of the family by some because I don't look like my mom's family I look like my dad and apparently no one in my mom's family looks like the other parent's family just my mom's side....
So all that being said am I the nut here or am I the flour in this fruit cake?

 

[AllenK RGV]

I don't know how to respond. When I got married I took my wife's last name my dad wasn't very pleased. I did it just because she had to fight to get her name back from a previous marriage and I had a step daughter I didn't want answering stupid questions from strangers.

Sure it created some small friction in life but nothing insurmountable for a big boy!

 

[sourland]

Ya know, OR, I used to have family like that. I no longer deal with them. My gut says that if you followed all their petty requests they would find something else to criticize.

I am a firm believer in : "Friends are the family you make for yourself."

 

[Chickassan]

I'd say you're the candied fruit, really the only decent part of the cake.

 

[AllenK RGV]

Ya know, OR, I used to have family like that. I no longer deal with them. My gut says that if you followed all their petty requests they would find something else to criticize.

I am a firm believer in : "Friends are the family you make for yourself."

Agreed, sometimes the family on my wife's side goes nuts. I think it is part of the "German Gene" they all gang up on her and try to convince her she is wrong about just living life peacefully. I never understand how these little things snowball and upset her like they do but I do get upset as her sister 2 brothers and mother will pile on with trivial matters. At least we have integrity and could care less about being included in anyone's Will.

 

[iva'schickens]

I always told my kids that you can't pick your relatives but you can choose your friends.

 

[Mraya]

My first response is why do you care what they think?

Edit: Why not change your name. Nobody else in the family named any of the children that name ( for a some reason) ask them why they didn't and go from there.

 

[sourland]

Agreed, sometimes the family on my wife's side goes nuts. I think it is part of the "German Gene" .

And all these years I've been blaming it on the Scottish DNA.

 

[ChocolateMouse]

Nah. Your family sounds crazy TBH. I have a brother who is physically and mentally abusive and the whole family thinks he's made of gold, despite CPS visits, three traumatized and abused nieces, and violence that other members of the family have seen. Family can be terrible.

Remember; The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. You don't need your family if you can make some good friends. Stick by the people who stick by you. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

 

[dunnmom]

I'm not usually one to judge folks unless they are doing something to hurt someone, but your family sounds very old-fashioned and at least a little abusive. Which would mean that IF you are crazy, it's only because they made you that way. The fact that you'd even ask what you asked, makes me suspect you are not the problem. Don't let them keep you from being happy and don't let them bring you down to their level. Many families have some kind of abuse going on, but it's entirely possible to come out of it ok.