is this ridiculous, or am I expecting too much? long RANT!

[arabookworm]

I don't mind when people ask me questions, its just that some times it just seems to me that some of the questions are asked just to make me feel uncomfortable rather than because they are honestly curious. there is a difference between people who come up to me and ask sincere questions about why I wear it and the people who ask, while giggling, whether I shower with it. one question actually has merit and will educate them about my beliefs, and the other is mostly just a joke. I mean, when someone is smirking and saying it sarcastically, you can mostly tell that they aren't asking out of curiosity. otherwise the questions don't bother me.

and for those who wondered, I don't wear it except for in front of men who aren't closely related to me. so when there are weddings or other events like that we have segregated parties so the women can wear whatever they want. we end up having way more fun than the men btw.

 

[teach1rusl]

Quote:
Hehehe....to quote my dear MIL "Now remember, God loves stupid people. He must, because he made so many of them."

But, in defense of people who ask "stupid" questions, I doubt most of us (yes, us, because I'm sure I've asked my share) do it with any ill intent. On my part, it's truly an interest in learning. My DH and I took some young work associates (in visiting from the China plant) out to dinner one evening. I'm sure that they thought I was pretty ignorant based on my questions: In China, can women serve in the military? Had these young men's marriages been arranged? What was the divorce rate in China? I think someone's intent in asking a question has to weigh in as to whether it's a stupid question or not...

So although you and your family have had some seriously negative experiences, try to be patient with those of us who seem a bit stupid...

** edited to add - just saw your recent post...we're on the same page **

 

[redhen]

I know for myself..the books i mostly crave are about other countries and cultures and how they live..etc...
I think that most people have a honest sincere interest in different cultures. I know that i do..



Ara..something tells me that you are still bitter about the way your poor mother and family were treated..(and i understand that!) , but please dont let it shade how you view innocent people who are honestly just curious about your culture.. Let go of the hurt..its only going to harm you inside in the end.

 

[EweSheep]

I agree with most of the members here, I, too, are curious about your cultures and any other cultures that are different than what I am used to seeing. In return, I am an American for many generations, I do get asked questions about my deafness and "those things in your ears" (hearing aids) such as do you sleep with it? (no, it would be uncomfortable) or do I shower with them on (not if you want to pay for expensive hearing aids everytime).

So I can relate to how you feel, and I too have been subjected to school mates in school, spitting, hitting and name callings. As time goes on, when you go to college, it is another world for me, and it opened up my world and people were more tolerant of deaf people nowadays.

All in all, I love people of different races, they are so interesting and so diverse! We certainly can learn from each other if we put our differences aside.

 

[GrayDragon]

Do what my friend Ahmed does. He gets these business cards made up and hands them out to people who pester him with questions

Viva la difference

 

[debilorrah]

I have a hard time figuring out why people think a head scarf identifies the person.

 

[redhen]

Quote:

 

[onthespot]

I was going to suggest a business card too, but to me, the other one with more middle eastern looking print is still emphasizing the difference instead of implying we are all the same. If I were you and made cards I would use the plainest, most common font like just what you see on you computer screen when you type. Plain, same as you and me looking. On one side I would put a few Q&A's and a website, on the other a blessing of some sort or quote for unity from the Koran. But that is just mey take. I do not envy you with everything in the news. People can be just mean, sometimes just ignorant, sometimes they just don't know and don't have the class to ask a question in a nicer way. Hope you get less of these questions as time goes on. Stay beautiful and proud of your heritage and keep on keeping on!

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
I am going to respectfully disagree with you. I think that it is important to know everything that went into the making of a killer so that we can prevent future violent acts. There is a big difference between a person who follows their belief system strictly and someone who takes it to such a crazy extreme that they aren't really following their own faith. I say this not only about the Ft. Hood shooter but followers of any belief system.

I agree with the later poster. When an issue or belief appears to have been the cause for violence, then it is appropriate to discuss it. Regardless of whether it is a Muslim who goes berserk and shoots soldiers at a processing center or a bullied teenager who goes on a rampage at a school or a disgruntled worker who attacks his former employer and co-workers or a pro-life zealot who cold-bloodedly murders an abortion doctor worshiping in his church. Religion isn't brought up when it doesn't seem to be a part of the reasoning in the perpetraiter's mind. When there is a gang shooting or a robbery or ..., the issues pertinent to that crime are what make the news. You don't hear about religion unless it seems to be a factor.

 

[wombat]

I've travelled, and I've gotten more than my share of dumb questions about Americans when I'm in other countries, simply because I've met people who's concept of Americans was formed by watching television.

You may be American, but your customs are outside the experience of many people you will encounter in this country, and they may have formed their opinions from heresay or watching TV too. You're outside their frame of reference. If people are polite and curious to know more about you, view that as an opportunity.

My brother in law converted to Islam, and his wife wears a headscarf. She has some funny stories about questions she has gotten as well, but she never seems bothered by them. She's travelled enough to know that you'll find uniformed people anywhere you go, sometimes you just need to get a laugh out of the question and take the opportunity to broaden someone's knowledge.