It Just Keeps Getting Better......super long rant sorry

Shucks.

Why is it your fault he died? These siblings of yours are crazy.

That is just silly. Problem is, without tort reform, frivolous lawsuits will continue and the only ones who win are the lawyers.

So were you served? Was your mother?

You'll both have to get a good lawyer and pray he can talk a judge into throwing the lawsuit out.

 

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this all by yourself. I can't offer my advice, but I can wish well for you and yours. Just do all you can to ensure that they don't get what they don't deserve in the first place!

 

I'm so sorry...I'm not quite sure what to say that no-one close to you hasn't already said . Life sure is a roller coaster . There are many ups and downs . Sounds like if all of the will is in order , and if the nurses and docs deemed him to be sound of mind , your nutcase siblings don't have much to go on . Do as Mahroni sais though , at least contact a lawyer and get a preliminary consult to see where you stand .
I never could understand why people are so greedy...makes me sick . Seems like most just wait to see what they can gain to make their lives better than actually bettering themselves .
Hang in there...and just remember all of the good times you had . Those so called idiots never got to experience the love and family you cherish to this day spending time with your dad .

 

It is imperative that you get professional advice urgently......we can give all the advice in the world, but we are not lawyers....make yourself "promt" notes before you go so that you dont forget to tell the lawyer everything and make sure it is someone who speclised in Family and Probate Law...good luck

 

Nightshade ,

I empathise with your situation completely. I have been going through this myself for the past 3 years.

I cared for my mother for 12 years with progressive Dementia. My one son even took a year away from work to stay with her so I could continue to work ( I had to pay my own mortgage.) She refused to be left alone,and would be extremely violent.

We stayed there 24/7, and then my elder son contacted my brother when she was in a temper and arranged for her to go there for a weekend. I was away overnight on business for the first timesince her illness, and could not stop this when I came home, she denied she was going at all.

Within 2 days, despite all the medical evidence he had a New Will and had taken Power of attorney, I knew nothing. A few weeks later she came back to me and kept saying my brother had done something wrong but police refused to investigate. I had her in my home, as my brother had cleared her property. WE had no money for her, as he was getting her pension. In the end, she was admitted to hospital for assessment while we found a suitable home that could care for her, as she was taken to a residential home and beat up my son when he went there as well as staff.

She was only there for 2 hours. The service providers at the hospital, after 4 months, discharged my mother to my brother while I was in work, and she was returned to his home and I never saw her again. She was there for 2 years. She was never supervised, we had no access and police said it was domestic dispute and would not intervene,

I was informed of my mother's death while driving home from work one night, and by a neighbour who knew they wouldnot inform me. We were threatened and abused when I tried to talk to my brother about the funeral and the authentic Will, as I still had no knowledge of his actions.

My brother is an alcoholic, as is his partner, and when I was given full knowledge of what had happened I started proceedings, I have been fighting them for 3 years, at huge expense, and they have admitted what they did was inappropriate, now my brother is putting all invoices for work done on my mother's house which is at the end of my street and trying to take more than his share of the half of the inheritance. He has done nothing to the house and it is in a terrible mess, after he has ben letting it and earned in the region of £24K from the rent.

my mother and father built their own house, which is at the end of my street, I pass there every time I leave my house. I have also kept a photographic record of all actions there,and the state of the place now.

I am now reaching the end of the legal road, after paying 3 solicitors, and still with a lot to pay out. But after all this time, the distress and pain it has caused has had a real impact on my own health, and I STILL have not been able to even think about my mother in the last 2 years of her life.

I don;t know if I can ever even consider what she went through in that house, she hated my brother's partner and was afraid of him. I had had to rescue his daughter and step daughter in the past, because of his drunken rages.

The only way I can gain justice for my mother is to keep going with this. This is my real brother, not a half brother, he is my full brother who would not have his house he lives in now if I had not talked to my father for him to lend him £10K, so you are not alone.

There is no justice unless you can afford it. Believe me and then it depends on the solicitor you employ.

Just keep going and stick to your guns. it is hard but right will prove itself in the end. I wish you well.

Jena.

 

(((HUGS)))

My mom dealt with similar when my dad passed away from complications of a massive stroke back in 94.
Suddenly my half sister and her two sons were there crying. And my dads widow(my folks had divorced several years before) was unreal.
She demanded that my mom sell the house that my mom had been paying ALL the bills on for YEARS(mortgage, repairs, utilities)
Demanded that SHE get his VA benefits AND his SSI.
Luckily my dad had taken care of a lot of stuff when he was diagnosed with MS. But my mom still had to get an attorney and go to court to make the b&*% go away. Not fun.

 

Unfortunately, a death and property to be divided up--or even the PERCEPTION of property to be divided amongst heirs, whether it actually exists or not--seems to bring out the jerk-ish-ness in relatives.

Get a lawyer, a good one, ASAP. Never never never put off lawyer appointments when it comes to this sort of thing. Make sure you have ALL the paperwork in order, not just relevant to the property but including insurance and so forth. And remember that verbal wishes your dad expressed are exactly as good as the paper they are written on--in other words, if it's not written down and witnessed and legal, it might as well not have happened.

As much as it hurts, it also doesn't matter that the other siblings did not put in as much care or were not as close to your dad as you were. It's unfortunate, but those things don't count in court.

An example of why they don't count: My FIL is currently at death's door. DH and I live quite far away, so we see him perhaps once a year. FIL's wife is physically abusive and has put FIL in the hospital more than once with her abuse, yet he hasn't divorced her and at this point, isn't likely to divorce her before he croaks. Should the woman who regularly beats him and starves him (he can't get around to feed himself, he has a visiting nurse but not every day) be given more of his estate than his sons--even though his will specifies that his sons are to receive whatever remains of his estate after his bills are paid? Undoubtedly FIL's wife will argue in court that she "took care of him" and "was there for him," but in fact she is the source of many of his ailments. He'd be a lot healthier if he was being properly fed and, you know, not smacked around so much or allowed to sit in his own waste for hours. Sorting out this kind of he-said she-said case is often not possible, and just about everyone will feel slighted in some way no matter what, so all they can do is go by the most recent documentation they have. Best thing for you is to make sure all the documentation is in order, including the police records--that shows they are harassing you over the issue.

I wish I didn't know this from experience...

 

Thank you Rhett&SarahsMom,

I hope your mum is fine now, it is so hard to accept that people can behave like this when a loved one has died, it takes away the dignity of their lives and all of their efforts.

Jena, x

 

I'm sorry you have to go through this.

I fear I will be in the same situation when my Dad is gone, he was diagnosed with lung cancer last Christmas. He has 2 daughters (who were teenagers when I was born) from his 1st wife and they were raised by her. As long as I can remember (I am 36) they only ever came around or called when they needed money or a place to stay. They have treated him like crap and to this day they don't check on him, haven't been to the hospital when he's been in - the past 2 Christmases he spent in the hospital, thank God this year he did not.

I have seen Mom & Dad's will and I know that it and Dad say they don't get anything, but I also know that they are conniving and will cause as many problems as possible. I just hope I have the ability to control myself cause I don't want to go to jail.

Get some legal advice before the crap hits the fan - I hope everything works out well for your family.