Okay so my father passed away in the end of November, which has been hard enough. He was not only my dad he was litterly my best friend too. We did everything together. Hunted, fished, went for ice cream twice a week. He had given me 10 acres as a wedding present in 2003, I never bothered to have it trasfered into my name, we live down the lane from my hubby's grandparents both of which are older in age. Not only does/ did my hubby help take care of them but pop was hubby's best friend. So I decided that they are older then my parents, my fokes are for the most part in good health, his grand parents need him and he needs them so moving can wait for now. You always think you have more time right.
Then a 19 months ago my dad became ill Very ill, mini strokes early onset of alzimers and then around 6 months ago combative demetcha. (sorry for the horrible spelling of these I am crying so hard I can barely see the keys) Not able to just pick up am move at the moment, and being worried that if I took DH away from his grandfather it would kill him. So from 25 miles away I tried to help comfort my dad and spend as much time as I could with him, and most of all help my mom keep it all together. And we start to slowly, very slowly start to move.
Lawyer appointments for my wedding present being delayed cause frankly I thought taking care of my dieing daddy was more important. We finally get our perk test and start to transfure the piece over in my name. In the process of survying the property we discover that the cabins are not on that piece anywhere so dad decides to just give us the entire piece 19 acres instead of just 10 acres. Which after waiting for almost three months after the signing the deed shows up in the mail. This was not the spot that when I got married I had said I wanted. That spot I could not have cause it would disrupt the rest of the family's hunting spots. It was a piece my dad had chosen for me. At the time it upset me but now it means so very much.
Did I mention that my dad had 4 other kids from a first marriage? That one lives less the 2 miles away and has not seen his father in 4 years even though he knew he was sick and not going to get better. That he lives in a house that my dad basicly gave him. They only quit talking when my dad refused to give him more land and part of the family campground to use to pay off his morgage with?
That none of the other kids have come to see him in ten years except to ask for money that they did not get. And the youngest of them is 40+ years old.
Flash forward to two months ago. My dad gets even sicker everyone in the area knows it, it is not a hidden secret. He ends up in the hospital with combative demencha ( parden the horrible spelling I am crying and can hardly see the keys) early onset of alzimers, mini strokes, and now he has an unidentified lump in his intestines that was not there a month earlier when he was in for his last tests.
My dad goes in for surgery on the 4th of Nov with terrible odds for an intestinal resection, but it was a no good choice situation. Either we do the surgery or you have 6 months to a year for it to eat your organs and it is not a big window of when we can do it. Dad is deemed able to make his own choice and he does. So AGAINST my dads wishes my mom calls my dads other kids to tell them what is happening and if they want to see him they should.
They all show up put on a huge show at the hospital he has been in for over a month with exception of the week they sent him home to gain strength and get his papers in order if he need to. Dad looks at a nurse before going in the OR and says, do they really think I am gonna die and leave them something cause it is the only reason they would be here.
Dad lives through the surgery much to all their surprises. They don't even wait to see if he comes out of recovery, litterly it was "oh he made it okay we are gonna go home" He spends 2 weeks in the iccu no one but my mom can see him cause that is what he had legally written up before he went into the hospital. He comes out of iccu for a week and then has a massive stroke while still in the hospital lives another three days with no use of his motor skills at all. He could not hardly speak, just mumble and cry. The day before his stroke he says to my mom, that he is tired and don't know how much longer he can fight but he has to protect her. My mom spent that last week with him 24-7 and even held his hand as he died.
All the paper work ( wills ect) was all taken care of over 2 years ago so everything is all in order. All is in order according to our lawyer so all is good, non of his kids can touch anything the will says they get nothing. it is over right....... wrong.
As usual it was too quite for too long. We have for the past 4 years had problems with the ones that live near us. The state police have a running record of complaint calls from us about them for at least 3 years. When my dad went in the hospital he had cameras installed to try to protect his house, his things and my mom from them while they were at the hospital all the time. Because they admitted to breaking in the house before until it was time to talk to the cops.
So today we find out that they are planning to sue me and my mom for wrongful death in order to get the property they were told that they are not to have. Including the piece that was my wedding present. Because they deserve it cause they are his kids.
You have no idea how angry this makes me. He died thinking they all only wanted what he could give them. They have not even called to wish him and happy birthday or merry Christmas nothing for the better part of a decade. When he got sick it was well we don't want to see or remember him like that. Meanwhile I would still go to see him no matter how sick he was at least two, three times a week. My mom hired a girl to come in and help with him while she had to work three days a week in the early mornings, to pay the medical bills that threatened to take their home that the medicare would not pay.
He had grand children he had not seen since they were born 20 yrs ago and great grand children he died never knowing existed and they all want their share of the pie. None of them ever offered to help with him, the bills or even the house hold chores that got tossed aside to spend the last few months my mom got to with my dad. A man she had been married to for over 30 yrs!
Sorry this is so long but I really needed to vent and of course no one is up but me.
Then a 19 months ago my dad became ill Very ill, mini strokes early onset of alzimers and then around 6 months ago combative demetcha. (sorry for the horrible spelling of these I am crying so hard I can barely see the keys) Not able to just pick up am move at the moment, and being worried that if I took DH away from his grandfather it would kill him. So from 25 miles away I tried to help comfort my dad and spend as much time as I could with him, and most of all help my mom keep it all together. And we start to slowly, very slowly start to move.
Lawyer appointments for my wedding present being delayed cause frankly I thought taking care of my dieing daddy was more important. We finally get our perk test and start to transfure the piece over in my name. In the process of survying the property we discover that the cabins are not on that piece anywhere so dad decides to just give us the entire piece 19 acres instead of just 10 acres. Which after waiting for almost three months after the signing the deed shows up in the mail. This was not the spot that when I got married I had said I wanted. That spot I could not have cause it would disrupt the rest of the family's hunting spots. It was a piece my dad had chosen for me. At the time it upset me but now it means so very much.
Did I mention that my dad had 4 other kids from a first marriage? That one lives less the 2 miles away and has not seen his father in 4 years even though he knew he was sick and not going to get better. That he lives in a house that my dad basicly gave him. They only quit talking when my dad refused to give him more land and part of the family campground to use to pay off his morgage with?
That none of the other kids have come to see him in ten years except to ask for money that they did not get. And the youngest of them is 40+ years old.
Flash forward to two months ago. My dad gets even sicker everyone in the area knows it, it is not a hidden secret. He ends up in the hospital with combative demencha ( parden the horrible spelling I am crying and can hardly see the keys) early onset of alzimers, mini strokes, and now he has an unidentified lump in his intestines that was not there a month earlier when he was in for his last tests.
My dad goes in for surgery on the 4th of Nov with terrible odds for an intestinal resection, but it was a no good choice situation. Either we do the surgery or you have 6 months to a year for it to eat your organs and it is not a big window of when we can do it. Dad is deemed able to make his own choice and he does. So AGAINST my dads wishes my mom calls my dads other kids to tell them what is happening and if they want to see him they should.
They all show up put on a huge show at the hospital he has been in for over a month with exception of the week they sent him home to gain strength and get his papers in order if he need to. Dad looks at a nurse before going in the OR and says, do they really think I am gonna die and leave them something cause it is the only reason they would be here.
Dad lives through the surgery much to all their surprises. They don't even wait to see if he comes out of recovery, litterly it was "oh he made it okay we are gonna go home" He spends 2 weeks in the iccu no one but my mom can see him cause that is what he had legally written up before he went into the hospital. He comes out of iccu for a week and then has a massive stroke while still in the hospital lives another three days with no use of his motor skills at all. He could not hardly speak, just mumble and cry. The day before his stroke he says to my mom, that he is tired and don't know how much longer he can fight but he has to protect her. My mom spent that last week with him 24-7 and even held his hand as he died.
All the paper work ( wills ect) was all taken care of over 2 years ago so everything is all in order. All is in order according to our lawyer so all is good, non of his kids can touch anything the will says they get nothing. it is over right....... wrong.
As usual it was too quite for too long. We have for the past 4 years had problems with the ones that live near us. The state police have a running record of complaint calls from us about them for at least 3 years. When my dad went in the hospital he had cameras installed to try to protect his house, his things and my mom from them while they were at the hospital all the time. Because they admitted to breaking in the house before until it was time to talk to the cops.
So today we find out that they are planning to sue me and my mom for wrongful death in order to get the property they were told that they are not to have. Including the piece that was my wedding present. Because they deserve it cause they are his kids.
You have no idea how angry this makes me. He died thinking they all only wanted what he could give them. They have not even called to wish him and happy birthday or merry Christmas nothing for the better part of a decade. When he got sick it was well we don't want to see or remember him like that. Meanwhile I would still go to see him no matter how sick he was at least two, three times a week. My mom hired a girl to come in and help with him while she had to work three days a week in the early mornings, to pay the medical bills that threatened to take their home that the medicare would not pay.
He had grand children he had not seen since they were born 20 yrs ago and great grand children he died never knowing existed and they all want their share of the pie. None of them ever offered to help with him, the bills or even the house hold chores that got tossed aside to spend the last few months my mom got to with my dad. A man she had been married to for over 30 yrs!
Sorry this is so long but I really needed to vent and of course no one is up but me.