It's like our neighbor with a baby isn't even there.

[lengel]

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That's a good idea. I could slip a note in an egg carton. At least I could put it rest by saying I had tried without feeling like I had pestered her.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

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I'm not trying to be stupid here but why would a woman with a baby want someone ringing her doorbell in the middle of the day? Because you are being friendly? I've already talked to her husband so that would be the only time to single her out. I leave eggs on her doorstep so I won't disturb her but it's not a mystery as to who is leaving them. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm making an effort while trying to be considerate.

Do you think I should push it further?

Well, you are the one concerned with meeting her; it is certainly your choice as to whether or not you want to make an effort. Imagine in your mind--what is the worst thing that would likely happen if you make an actual effort to meet her?

 

[lengel]

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I'm not trying to be stupid here but why would a woman with a baby want someone ringing her doorbell in the middle of the day? Because you are being friendly? I've already talked to her husband so that would be the only time to single her out. I leave eggs on her doorstep so I won't disturb her but it's not a mystery as to who is leaving them. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm making an effort while trying to be considerate.

Do you think I should push it further?

Well, you are the one concerned with meeting her; it is certainly your choice as to whether or not you want to make an effort. Imagine in your mind--what is the worst thing that would likely happen if you make an actual effort to meet her?

I'm sorry. I don't think that you have read my posts. I have made the effort but she is not around. Short of a home invasion, I'm not sure what to do here and talking to the people who are around doesn't seem to make an impression. Another poster usefully suggested a note and I will follow up with that.

 

[AngieChick]

It could be something as simple as she or the baby has health issues. My niece has down syndrome and my sister has to be fairly careful to limit her exposure to germs (or even allergens) because of some of the complications.

I wouldn't assume that she is odd. Also, with 4 kids she's probably exhausted and kept very busy indoors. Or, she could simply not enjoy being outside. It would drive me crazy to be inside all the time, but many people prefer it.

 

[Daisygirl]

The note is a good idea

It does seem a little strange, but things vary from family to family
some families take a long time to adjust, or it might be something completely different, a situation within the family, as Angiechick says...
another thing you could do is mabe hold a street party on christmas or some other holiday...throw an invitation in everybody's mail box with an rsvp, invite the whole street, call it the "Christmas street party", get everyone to bring some food and drink, pull up a couple of collapsible chairs and watch the sun set...something that my street does every year, keeps us on good terms

 

[chickensducks&agoose]

how about next time you see the husband, you say "How's your wife? The baby must be getting big!" and then let him come up with some answer... I am not super tactful, and when I think a lot about something, or really wonder, I ask.

 

[booker81]

Some folks aren't social, some have health issues etc. Maybe with the last child, she's dealing with post-partum depression and things are pretty sucky and she just doesn't want to deal with people. (I had PPP (post parturm psychosis), and am still on meds, even at one year I tried to wean off, and it was bad). Maybe there are marital issues and the husband doesn't want to talk about it. There's a lot of maybes, and personally I'd just take it as it goes. If a neighborly relationship is important, build it with the father and kids, and if the wife never comes out, then it is her loss, but it might be something she doesn't want/need right now.

As one who can get somewhat anti-social, while I would appreciate the efforts and eggs etc, I'm very sucky about reciprocating, and even feel worse when I don't know how to repay kindness from others. I'm sure some of our neighbors think I'm a recluse sometimes, but I'm ok with that. I'm just happy that soon we'll have eggs to give away to those who are kind to us.

Some folks need social interaction, some don't. I'm one that doesn't - I'm perfectly happy with my DH and DD, and online. I get enough interaction with humans at work

I would keep the door open to her for interaction, but I'd suggest just letting it go and accepting that maybe she just isn't social. Keep a nice relationship with the dad and kids, and if and when she appears, include her in.

 

[dichotomymom]

That's our family to a t. We're friendly enough but won't go out of our way. We just want to enjoy our family time and it's not meant to be an afront to anyone.

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[mickistoy]

maybe when you leave a note put you phone number on it. she may be more open to a phone call....she is a woman after all

j/k ladies

 

[Knight Hawk Ranch]

I would have asked, "How's your wife and the little one"...perfectly normal to ask that of the husband.

I have one neighbor, who as soon as I moved in, welcomed me. They are GREAT neighbors, offered the use of their back half of property for my horses in exchange for mowing it once in a while. My neighbor to the S of me, I hardly ever see except in passing and the neighbors across the road are seasonal farm workers(rental).