I've Been Hyperventilating for Three Hours..***update pg 6***

[patandchickens]

Enh - pregnant ladies are told any number of things - not to ride, not to lift their arms above shoulder height, to avoid doing practically anything, etcetera. Most of it is bad or baseless advice, and it's generally none of the advice-giver's business anyhow. Even if the advice-giver is a doctor. Read up about the actual quantitative risks, and make your OWN decision!

Until you are Significantly Pregnant there is no evidence-based reason to believe that riding poses meaningful risks (except that I'll warn you that as ligaments become looser quite early in the pregnancy, if you fall you risk a worse sprain etc than you might from the same fall otherwise -- sure happened to me, going off one of the horses at 11 wks pregnant with the kid who will be 1 in a few weeks

) Doctors love to try to boss pregnant ladies around and live their lives for them. Don't let them do that to you. Do what you want to and need to; you will know what feels reasonable for your body.

Likewise, if you don't want to get into it with your MIL, don't -- it will be some while before she has to know, anyhow.

And unfortunately a lot can happen between then and now, in the older age bracket (ask me how I know

), so unlikely as it sounds, try to enjoy the moment -- I know pregnancy isn't always enjoyable as such

and it's really hard when it's an unexpected addition your other responsibilities in life, but it's also a precious and fragile gift... don't forget that. Appreciate the little spark in there, inconvenient-as-heck though it be

Big hug,


Pat, having had one child at 39 and another at 42

 

[SpottedCrow]

Congratulations!!!

 

[fullhouse]

Congrats! Our 6 mo dd was the "surprise, we were done, how did this happen?" baby. We also have a special needs 5yo son. Honestly, she is great! I was so worried, but I am happier and more stable than I have ever been. Good luck, you'll do fine

 

[cjeanean]

I would give anything to be in your shoes. My hubby and I have been married two years, no protection, and nothing. Please treasure the gift God has given you, no matter how unexpected, because children are a blessing no matter how many. I wanted to have like 10 kids (I'm serious) because I love children and huge families, and right now I'm just begging and pleading for one. I thank God that He is allowing you to experience another child, no matter your age or circumstance, because there is a reason why He chose you, right now, to have a baby. GOOD LUCK, and congratulations from the bottom of my heart!!!!

 

[LoneCowboy]

Oh how exciting Bethany will have a playmate! I don't know how bad your daughters disabilities are, but this just might be the answer to her future. It might even help her to do more for herself as she sees this new baby growing and accomplishing stuff.

Don't panic, there really is always a blessing in everything. The faith is not panicing when we know who's really in charge.

And 4 is not a huge family. I have a friend with 8 and another 5 and oh heck in my church everybody has huge families.

Just enjoy and be happy that things are being handled long before you even know they will be.

 

[Nichole77]

I understand. When I got pregnant with my last child I went into a severe depression. Everyone was mad because I wasn't happy. My marriage wasn't in the best shape and the 2 children I already had are Autistic. My inlaws are horrible and they were so mean about it. Everyone kept telling me what a blessing it was and that I was going to have a girl. I had no baby things left. I was thinking "Why do I have to have a girl? Are my boys that bad?" I was depressed and mad and sick constantly. And all those people that trying to convince me that this was a wonderful thing weren't there to help me clean when I spent days vomiting or take my boys when all I could do was cry. I was alone and scarred. I tried talking to my Dr. and was told they don't deal with mental issues. I had to do something so I went to therapy and while I was waiting I read an article about how about 20% of women in the first trimester get severe depression. I was so mad that I wasn't told that by the Dr. I even went to the supervisor. If I had known it was normal it could have taken the stress off some. At least I would know that I wasn't being a bad person. I don't know how you feel but I will say you go ahead and have any feelings you need to or want to. I also got my DH fixed. It's easier and they have a scalpulless, needleless procedure with a 48 hour recovery.

 

[fowlwoman1]

Hey, if you don't want that baby, I'm standing first in line to take it off your hands!

My husband and I have been trying for 4 1/2 years to have another.:| You have a choice to make-- recognize your blessing and serve your family with joy, or feel miserable and disappointed. I know a lady who just had #13 a few months ago. She's 43 and says that if her husband so much as sneezes on her she gets pregnant!

 

[DrakeMaiden]

I was going to say the same . . . hey, I'll adopt your baby if you don't want it. . . . But I doubt you'll want to give him/her up!

We have friends that have 4 kids. They are the perfect parents to raise 4 kids, imo. I figure, in terms of world population growth, that they had our 2 kids, that we never had, and will probably raise them better than we could.

Besides, as far as other people's opinions . . . they don't matter. They will think what they will, no matter what you do. Don't worry about it. Do what makes sense to you and have confidence in your own choices!

 

[CathyB]

I am so sorry that something that should be having you rejoice is causing you pain. I believe that special needs babies are chosen to be given to the strongest souls. You must be strong now and realize that God wants YOU to raise this baby. He chose you!

I know how hard it is to raise a disabled child. I do not have one, but my neice is legally blind. She will never drive a car, never get to do a lot of stuff. But she is our miracle baby we call her. We call her this because all the doctors said her optical nerves are so shredded there is no medical way she could see more than the big E at the top of vision charts, and that would be blurry. She is in 2nd grade now in school with all the other kids. They put some of her work on a projector. The other day she pointed out ants to me. The doctors still say there is no medical explaination why she sees! And watching her play her Nintendo DS with it all the way up to her nose warms my heart!

My prayer are with you and your family right now. All life is a blessing!

 

[GwenFarms]

Thank you all so much. You've all been a blessing to me. I feel so much better this morning. I didn't sleep much last night. I got online and looked at alot of baby websites and reminded myself of what a newborn looks like, which led to me remembering what they smell like and feel like. I'm starting to get excited. We'll just have to work around the special issues. We'll have to start teaching Bethany now to be easy. I will probably even go ahead and set up a bassinet and some baby thing to start teaching her that she has to be easy. Its going to be hard for her and us, but I think alot of you are right. This could end up being the push she needs to gain some independence. She still likes to be held and sit on our laps all of the time, but at five she should be starting to break away from that some. A baby will force that. Maybe watching the baby potty train will encourage her to try. Maybe hearing the baby start to talk will bring some more sounds from her.

Bethany is still diagnosed as developmentally delayed. She doesn't walk and has really shaky gross motor skills. She can't talk, but tests very high cognitively. She understands almost at a typical five year old level, but is unable to communicate back. She is learning and doing well with sign language, but due to her limited fine motor skills I have to interpret her signs to people. She invents alot of her own signs. Like a triangle shape for pizza. She is happy all of the time...well most of the time. I hope the new baby teaches her patience, she doesn't have much of that sometimes. It wouldn't be safe to leave her alone with a small baby. We will have to watch her closely. It takes telling her no many times before she gets that she can't do something, but there will be a lesson in that for her too I think.

I'm much more hopeful this morning. Thank you everyone for the support. I'm sure I will continue to need it in the following months.

Love,
Gwen