I've got to say something, or I'll explode!

Good luck.
Kids today... too many resources and not enough sense.

 

Has she been assigned a child advocate?? If she hasn't you might want to look into it. They can make the situation worse, but they are usually social workers who listen to the whole story giving it more time than the judge can.

Has she had a psych eval? demand that the state give her one. Then ask for family therapy. The situation with teens and the courts these days is really dysfunctional. You've got teens being abandoned in some states under the safe haven law and people don't recognize that this is a symptom of a huge systemic problem.

Get a lawyer. If you can't afford one look into pro bono or legal aid offices.

Good luck

 

i understand your frustration - we have a close neighbor who's single daughter IS on drugs and letting her 12 year old date 18 yr old boys, no supervision at all .
her grandparents are good, tho rural people ( nothing wrong with that, as we are too) and went to court to have her in their custody. after about 6 months of supervision, good meals, attentive grandparents - she decides that she is bored and starts making false accusations against them.- all of a sudden they are under suspicion and being hounded by the social services - and even talk of sending her back to her heroin addicted mother - CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY??

 

So sorry. But when the courts give decision making abilities to juveniles, which is what this judge did, it will not result in anything good. This is the domain of a parents right and duties.

Disciplin became a bad word in households quite some time ago and it shows. There are no boudaries now, no rules. Kids cannot know how to properly conduct themselves or be left to determine what is best for them.

Hopefully your daughter will come to realize what she did was not a good decision but maybe not. It sounds like you care a lot as parents and thus are not to blame.

My neighbor is in a similar situation, the daughter did not like rules and chores and homework so she went to live with her drug addict father and she is now a very promiscuous 15 year old and beyond redemption.

Another neighbor has adult children living at home, some with high school educations, others dropped out. But they live at home free, do nothing there so the family trailer is caving in and the parents let them because their kids 'just don't know what they want to do with their lives'.

Those boys are whopping it up on the roads with their ATV's, mud trucks and snowmobiles though! I think I know what they want to do with their lives.

 

I'm so sorry to hear what you and your family are going through. Your stepdaughter reminds me of myself when I was that age. I got mixed up with drugs and the wrong people. And no matter what choices I made it was never my fault. My parents are the best people in the world but I just was unable to see that. Im now 27 and have two young boys. I was unable to understand and appriciate all that they had done for me untill I had kids. My dad passed away from kidney cancer last year, I feel that as a teen I really messed up and hurt my family. I missed out on being close to my dad for about 5 years, 5 years that I would love to have back.

I think at that age being selfish is all that they know. They want what they want and will do most anything to get it. I sure hope that she soon will understand what you guys are trieng to do for her.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

I'm really sorry to hear this. Sometimes (often) I'm convinced that this world is insane. You're all in my prayers. Good luck!

 

I'll be praying for this young girl, you , your DH and everyone in between involved. Strength, love, and understanding to you all. God Bless!

 

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. But Nu Chicks is right sometimes at that age it is all about me. I know because I was a troubled teenager. I caused my parents alot of heartache and I cant make up for it today. All you can do is be there for her, You've done what you thought was best and hopefully at some point in the future she will come around but I would suggest counseling for you and your DH. Not that you've done anything wrong but having someone to talk to that is impartial while going through this can benefit you. I'd also check into what I have what in my yard suggested. Good Luck and I will keep you in my thoughts.

 

You need to find your state's laws on discipline!

No what, nevermind, I am sending you a pm!