i was beat with belts ( including the belt buckle) and wire coathangers. all of which left welts. it wasnt until my mom was diagnosed with alzheimers and my sisters and i went to seek help for mom when the whole background story, closely gusrded the confessed as true from her siblings emerged. mom herself was a victim of abuse and molestation by her father whom regularly threatened her into silence. as he oldest girl, her personality shifted to protect her siblings, and protect at all costs. however, she also learned the finer skills of manipulation and violence, and no nurturing skills aside protection. oddly, in protecting her younger sisters, they were left alone by dad, althogh they knew what was going on. because he was an alcoholic, when sober everything was fine. grandma was clueless because mom was ashamed and wanted to protect even her. imagine my sisters and my shock to hear a professional say that what we went through was hell...on the surface, everything looked fine. great. mom was stunningly beautiful, publically was well known and popular. but we walked on eggshells ALWAYS never knowing what would set her off or how to react. we learned to please externally, but not trust. loved yet hated and looked for the quickest way to escape. mom's family knew how she was, that logic meant nothing to set her off. they knew how she treated us but did not intervene. these are not uneducated folks...one owns a multi million dollar company, the rest are successes in their own ventures and are close to their own families. mom also.suffered from walking blackouts. not always from drink but from meds the dr prescribed. it took me a long time.to understand my mom, then forgive. then to accept that even then she still did the best that she could given the emotional state she was in. not accepting this as ok...but that sickness is what it is. what i learned from MY background was that it would never work with me punishing my children physically once we could communicate. to resort to such meant that I Was off track and needed to seek advice on how to lead my child towards adulthood.
more than the physical beating, I cringed over the words he spittled out. No father, no parent, no guardian needs to resort to this belittling of spirit. it shows his daughter of what little worth she is. even during his best moments of tenderness, these words are branded on her soul as.appropriate and accurate.
for him to say that she set him up during the following years because of.piano lessons and a.car are nonsense. sounds like.he.is.still attempting to manipulate her life by making her adhere to his schedule of life. i think it took great courage for her to finally come.clean and hope.she.seeks help in overcoming what she went through.