Just need to say it to someone outside my box

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by bt03, Sep 30, 2011.

  1. bt03

    bt03 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Mar 1, 2011
    Over the rainbow...
    Eight years ago my brother was killed by a drunk driver. He was on his way home from work at 11:30. He started working in a town 45 minutes away because the pay was higher so he could save more for college. He was already taking 2 college courses while he was working that summer before his senior year of HS.

    When I was 16 and he was 15 I got pregnant with my daughter and he refused to speak to me. We had always been the closest out of all my siblings because of our ages but after that things were never the same. I even beat up a guy 3 times my size for bullying him when I was in the 8th grade! he was my big little brother and my hero. He always seemed like he knew something that the rest of us didn't. Like somewhere locked away in his soul was the secrets to life and when he smiled you could catch a glimpse of hem in his eyes and you couldn't help but feel joy in your soul because of him.

    I know a lot of people will tell you about how amazing a person that passed was but he was one of those rare people that it was really true about him. He was kind and literally gave the coat off his back to another kid because he was smaller and had a farther walk home while it was sleeting out. He quit sports because he wanted to study so he could be an architect and build homes for older people so they would have a place to live the rest of heir lives, he wanted to make sure my daughter wanted for nothing because her dad left her like ours had left us.

    They say that some people know in their soul when their time is getting short and I think he knew. After almost 2 years of hardly talking to me but being amazing with my daughter he finally started to crack and tried to help me and talked to me again. I would help him with his homework and he would help clean my room so our mom wouldn't be so angry with me all the time and he would tell me how proud he was that I was going to college and working my tail off trying to make things better for me and my daughter.

    That day was like a lot of other days that summer. My brother had been staying with my aunt the days he was working so he could save on gas but when he would come home he would bring my cousin with him because he was such a big part of the family. For some reason he only worked July 3 and was off the 4th & 5th. He had come home the day before so I could finish his homework (don't tell, lol) and so he could go to class. The morning of the 3rd he told me to leave my daughter with him until he left for work and he would bring her to me later, she loved him more than strawberries which was probably more than even me, so I told them to have fun while I was working. He brought her to me a little before 2 so he could get to work early. I am a huger, I love hugs and love to give them, but he would rarely take a hug because he was still so upset with me. For some strange reason before my brother left he picked me up, squeezed the breath out of me and told me he loved me. He had plans to stop and pick up my cousin so they could spend his favorite holiday (4th of July) at home with his family and he was going to buy the GIANT sparklers for my daughter because he loved the look on her face when she saw the little ones.

    He got off work at 11 had to drive across town get my cousin and what he needed and was on his way. At 11:28 he was killed in a head on collision with a drunk driver. My brother was driving a 1997 Tracker and the guy was driving a one ton farm truck. The other driver was on the wrong side of a divided highway and the point of impact means he had been on the wrong side for at least 5 miles. There were 6 witnesses to the accident. They all said my brother died the moment the other truck hit him so he didn't feel any of the other things that that man did to my strong young brother's body. My cousin had pieces of dash board and windshield embedded into multiple parts of his body and after a scary 3 flat-lines he is alive today.

    My cousin now has plates and pins holding a lot of him together and refuses to wear shorts or short sleeved shirts because of the scars and missing muscle. He will have to live with sometimes debilitating arthritis and still occasional physical therapy to keep his joints moving and from stiffining for the rest of his life. He had just turned 16 and is now 24.

    My brother was 17 years old. He was 2 months and 4 days shy of his 18th birthday.

    That day I didn't just loose my brother, I lost the best part of me.

    After hiding out for months the man that killed my brother turned himself in and got liniency for that. He ended up with 14 years for what he did. Only 14 years for taking way a whole life? That is all my brother was worth to the court. 14 years. They told us after 7 he would be eligible for parole... It has been just shy of seven years since they put him away. The parole board wants letters from us to see if he is worthy of parole. How do I tell them that I wish he would rot in there for the rest of his life then rot in *&^^ for eternity? How do I tell them that he is alive while my brother didn't even get to start his? How do I tell them none of my future kids will know their uncle? How do I tell them that my daughter lost her favorite person and couldn't understand why? How do I tell them he broke me when he took my brother? How do I tell them all of these things that I can't even tell myself most days?

    I realize that a lot of this makes no sense and that it is mostly ramble. I'm sorry but it's kind of hard to make sense through the tears. Thanks for making me feel better by just letting me post this...
     
  2. Imp

    Imp All things share the same breath- Chief Seattle

    I'm so sorry, that is very poignant.

    Imp
     
  3. Luvducks

    Luvducks Chillin' With My Peeps

    Apr 8, 2009
    Colorado
    Very sorry for you. I do not know how I personally would handle this situation but you seem to be able to write your feelings quite well. Most all of us
    have lost people we love and I felt your pain in this terrible story.
     
  4. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

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    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    I would tell them just what you told us..
    I really, REALLY hope he doesnt get free...
    I'm so sorry.. [​IMG]
     
  5. Terri O

    Terri O Chillin' With My Peeps

    It is a terrible thing that happened to your brother and also to you. I feel very bad that you had to go through this. I can only say that you must work on forgiveness! I know it might sound shallow to you for me to say this when I dont know you or your brother..but for the sake of your daughter (and the memory of your dear brother) you must forgive the person that took his life! Then you will get yours back and you can really live for your family...please consider what I have said and try. OK?
    Hugs to you...you have been through much...now forgive and live on! Terri O
     
  6. turney31

    turney31 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Sep 14, 2008
    palestine texas
    Send the Parole board a copy of your post... I wouldn't release him. [​IMG] That was a wonderful tribute.
     
  7. Mattemma

    Mattemma Overrun With Chickens

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    Aug 12, 2009
    So very sorry for your loss.Healings for your cousin. You post explains your feeling well and would be what I would send.

    If anyone on the board had a loved one killed would they feel *good* letting the killer free after just 7 years? 14 is the LEAST this man could do to atone for what he CHOSE to do.This was no *accident*.True accidents deserve a break.Poor choices that result in the death or someone...well eye for an eye is the only fair thing imo.



    Again I am very sorry for your loss.Glad to read that you and your brother had reconnected.
     
  8. Orchid

    Orchid Chillin' With My Peeps

    May 10, 2010
    North Central MN
    I think a copy of your post sent to the parole board would be most appropriate.

    [​IMG]
     
  9. Avalon1984

    Avalon1984 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Dec 22, 2010
    Muskegon
    So sorry about your story. [​IMG] I cannot begin to imagine how that must feel like. I’d leave him to rot in jail. At least then he cannot kill any others for another 7 years. The guy that killed my husband and 22 others received only probation because of his ”feeling of guilt”. He can continue to live his life while 23 families are destroyed. It is just sickening. I’d say keep him in there for as long as possible.
     
  10. QuinnP

    QuinnP Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Mar 26, 2010
    Oregon
    a flamethrower would work.....[​IMG]
     

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