Just need to vent! (horse related)

[greeneggsandham]

Quote:
Right there would make me really think about if it is a good idea to get the horses. If your husband is the person bringing in most of the money monthly and he has to put that money towards something that 1) he doesn't like and 2) is going to prevent him from having things he wants, that can make a marriage go down hill fast.

How far away are the horses? How old are theses horses?

 

[welsummerchicks]

Agree.

And...in MOST cases....MOST, I said....LOL....horses are not worth ruining a marriage over. Seriously.

If partners aren't getting along, one's hobby can become a focus for that. But in most cases, it just isn't worth it to ruin a marriage.

LOL...years and years ago, there was a wealthy couple I knew - well everyone knew them. The husband supported the wife's hobby, which included buying a very large farm and a boat load of very expensive German imported horses.

The husband HATED the horses...and eventually they got divorced. She lost the farm - it was sold and so were all the horses. Frankly, I don't think she really had all that stuff for very long at all.

The husband was devoutly Jewish, and he DESPISED those German horses. A good many days, he would walk down to the breakfast table, sit down, put his napkin in his lap, admire the breakfast and say brightly and cheerfully, 'SO! How are all the Nazi Horses to-DAY?'

 

[2DogsFarm]

welsummerchicks - you made me LOL

On my horsy BB there's a poster whose signature quote is:
"My worst nightmare is that when I die my husband will sell my horses and tack for what I told him I paid for them"

OP:
you got a lot of good advice here
Hope you are taking it all into consideration before going ahead

 

[USMCwifey]

They are pretty close, I would say about 4 miles away. And they are 25yr old. I know it's older, but my horse I had at their barn lived to be 32 and I rid him until he was 30yrs old. I was hoping by getting the barn ready for these guys, once they retire, and pass on, we would be ready for younger horses. although After all the posts I've gotten and replies I think I'm just gonna give it up. The horses will still get fed, barely, but I guess it's one less thing I'll have to deal with. I was ready, very very ready to get these horses... now after all this, I just don't think it's worth it.

 

[welsummerchicks]

You're making an awful mistake to assume that any horse you run across will be rideable and usable and healthy into their late 20's or early 30's.

The simply fact is that most horses are not rideable and usable into their late 20's and early 30's.

Many horses will be retired before they even reach their teens and many horses die before they reach 20. SOME OF US (LOL) have a whole BARN full of unrideable retirees, and some of them didn't exactly stay rideable for long.

I don't mean to be rude- I really am not trying to be. But - you had horses when you were young, and I'm sure it was a lot of fun for you. But I think before you get horses again, you need to learn a lot. A lot. You can do that by leasing, by taking riding lessons, by going to seminars vets often give at riding club meetings, by reading books and magazines.

It depends on how HARD they are used, and how CAREFULLY, and what problems they were born with - a horse with a big heavy body on slender legs for example, just won't stay in the game very long.

It also depends on how they were cared for when young, well, and throughout their life. A lack of worming medication used to be blamed on a lot of intestinal damage that would leater lead to a horse having a fatal colic (belly ache).

Too, horses get cancer, just as people do. All kinds of cancer. All their systems work less well as they age - endocrine systems often give out and cause serious health problems like Cushings Disease or Insulin Resistance/Laminitis. Another problem is teeth. They just don't last forever.

 

[definetlydeb]

Quote:
Ohhhh, I so feel for you!!! Only you can be the one to make the decision to give up one of your dreams....that is the hard part....and could def cause probs either way in the future by the sounds. I wish you much luck in your decision, but trully make sure you search long and hard for the right answer. I have found that even giving up on a dream...although it seems necessary at the time, can once again creep up and stir up emotions....and leave you with feeling as though your dreams aren't important. I trully am with you, and I totally understand some points that have been given, on the other hand....I so know what it is like to have a dream, and have it offered, turn it down and then feel the curse...years later!! As I said, search deep within yourself, sort it out, make your decision and if your DH trully loves you, he will honor your wishes and make all your dreams come true. Where there is a will, there is a way!!! Best wishes to you, I hope that you find the right answer and turn your dreams into reality!!!!

 

[welsummerchicks]

Nobody has to give up any dreams. She can ride in lessons, lease a horse at a boarding barn, even board her own horse when she can pay for it.

I've watched for many decades as couples feuded over horses. It is possible to COMPROMISE and have both sides of the couple happy!!!!!

 

[EweSheep]

While you are thinking on getting some horses in the future, in the meantime, get more chickens! That ought to pacify you!

Welsummerchicks, you are spot on your article on horse keeping. Even in my case, I was the lucky few that didn't experienced as many problems as some would. But your reasonings are very profound and it would help the budget on keeping senior horses to a minimum. But not always the case. One would have to make heartbreaking decisions in putting the horse down.

Horsekeeping is not for everyone but the true and dedicated owners would go for the distance and take that financial risk of owning a horse for its lifetime.

 

[greeneggsandham]

Quote:
I think you should continue to go and ride the horses and love on them at their present location. Then little by little get your property ready to have horse one day on it. You don't have to give up on your dream at all even if hubby doesn't want those two horses. Maybe he knows that they are older and may not live long and is just trying to avoid what he knows may hurt you to lose them.

My first horse lived till she was 32, but was retired at 25 from any riding. She did give the little kids pony rides, but they were 3-6 years old.

I currently have two horses one is 24 and he has had narvicular in both front hooves for over 10 years. He is sound for light trail riding, but I know one day he will not even be pasture sound. Then there is the princess an 8 year old Saddlebred who is a love bug, but can be a spoiled brat at times. Now mine you my husband is great and he does trail ride with me, but horses are not "his" thing. The horses are mine and my responsibity alone.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

Aye, definitely possible, and important to compromise, but also important to consider that many of those horse feuds may have only partly been about the horses. A strong and supportive bond where both sides care about the other is what lends itself to compromise. And it has to be a real compromise, no hurt and festering feelings as deb said. It's even very possible to work towards that with each other if that compromising spirit isn't there in the relationship yet.

. So really, USMC, you have two awesome possibilities here. The possibility to know yourself and husband better brought about by a conflict (and you very well may find things resolved beautifully, but regardless, knowing is a great gift no matter the outcome), and a possibility to pursue a life held dream here. So long as you remain aware of yourself, others, and the endless possibilities of life (is the horses may need expensive vet bill or to be euthanïzed or returned to the people who are offering them if you can't afford a multi thousand dollar surgery...that they live forever...or whatever life throws), then there is no reason for your dream to turn into a nightmare.