I am SO sorry you're going through such a tough time!!!
Feel free to disregard any of the following advice; it's probably only worth what you've paid for it.
Don't forget to stop at least once everyday and assess your priorities and rank them. Then write out what you need to do to get those accomplished and make sure that every one of those that can be delegated to someone else is, even if it makes you feel like you're a slacker. It will take some time to do the work of delegating, but it can save you an enormous amount of time and worry after the initial outlaw of time. After all, you can always call someone back if you change your mind about giving them some task. Who knows? They may even want to do something like bring you chocolate-covered strawberries, apple pie a la mode,etc, instead!
Having just told you to write out your own priorities
, I'd like to offer some suggestions anyway.
As most people have pointed out, the first one is to keep yourself in good working order; the last thing you need is to get sick.
Ken is the second. Worrying about him is a given; just don't let it cripple you and give him a way to help you worry less so that both of you are more empowered and feeling less worried. My guess is that he's also worried about you and the stress on you!
Your job is third.
Everything else probably should come in a pretty distant third, even your son, for now. He is a grown boy, now, after all, even if he still believes you're the all-knowing, all-powerful, and benevolent guardian and caretaker of his universe. Finding out you're not and that YOU need help and support, too, is a good learning experience for him on his way to maturity. What better time to find out than now so that he can help you when you need it most?
You've got a whole list of great suggestions to choose from in responses on this list and I'm sure there's even more on sites that specialize in how to cope with stress.
If people keep asking the same questions at work, perhaps putting all of those questions and their answers in a stock email or document that you can send them will reduce some of that. I have no idea if that would work for you, just an idea I have from some past similar experiences. Maybe your boss will get you a temp assistant who can answer the repetitive answers and leave you to handle the more important (& less aggravating) problems.
As far as those friends, I think everyone's right that they're hoping they can do something but don't know what to do, especially if you're currently doing it all yourself (they may not see just how bad it's stressing you).
Don't forget to give them the opportunity to help you; that's what friends and family are for. If you're a member of a church/synagogue/etc., you have a dedicated support group there, too. They're also probably going to have members who provide different kinds of support, love doing it, and have experience and expertise at it, too.
Even if it's just making a one-pot dinner and eating on disposable dinnerware, that's one less thing for you to worry about and even a lazy or self-absorbed son can take care of cleaning up after that and still have time to vacuum.
Let what isn't important during this crisis go; you (and friends and family) can bring those things back to normal later. If it drives you nuts to not have a clean house, let a few rooms be the "no time to clean it now" rooms and shut the door on them as long and as often as you can. If it makes you feel better to stop every once in a while and clean, just pick a small area to clean.
Make a list of what does really need to get done now.
Let your son choose some of those things that he can do on a regular basis and let him do those.
Let him do some (or all) of the work for coordinating with friends who want to help to get things on your list done. It may not always get done the way you'd do it, but at least it will get done. If you need groceries, write a list and have a friend or your son do it or hire one of the services that deliver. As long as you have toilet paper, you're probably not going to really care right now what brand it is!
Keep in touch with your friends and dump on them as needed. Obviously that includes all the people at BYC who care about you, but don't forget the friends who are physically near you, too.
Don't think about how big the support system is or about coordinating it. You know this is a big crisis; use a big support group. That's what they're there for and they wouldn't be there if it wasn't right to use them. If coordinating it becomes too big a task, delegate that task to a team of your son and people who are experienced at it (church support groups and friends).
When it still feels too much at the end of the day, remind yourself that you need to sleep and it will have to wait until tomorrow. Then put the job of worrying about it in God's hands (or your other higher power, whoever that may be), hug your hubby, and go to sleep remembering there are a lot of people out there praying and rooting for you, too.
Feel free to disregard any of the following advice; it's probably only worth what you've paid for it.
Don't forget to stop at least once everyday and assess your priorities and rank them. Then write out what you need to do to get those accomplished and make sure that every one of those that can be delegated to someone else is, even if it makes you feel like you're a slacker. It will take some time to do the work of delegating, but it can save you an enormous amount of time and worry after the initial outlaw of time. After all, you can always call someone back if you change your mind about giving them some task. Who knows? They may even want to do something like bring you chocolate-covered strawberries, apple pie a la mode,etc, instead!
Having just told you to write out your own priorities
As most people have pointed out, the first one is to keep yourself in good working order; the last thing you need is to get sick.
Ken is the second. Worrying about him is a given; just don't let it cripple you and give him a way to help you worry less so that both of you are more empowered and feeling less worried. My guess is that he's also worried about you and the stress on you!
Your job is third.
Everything else probably should come in a pretty distant third, even your son, for now. He is a grown boy, now, after all, even if he still believes you're the all-knowing, all-powerful, and benevolent guardian and caretaker of his universe. Finding out you're not and that YOU need help and support, too, is a good learning experience for him on his way to maturity. What better time to find out than now so that he can help you when you need it most?
You've got a whole list of great suggestions to choose from in responses on this list and I'm sure there's even more on sites that specialize in how to cope with stress.
If people keep asking the same questions at work, perhaps putting all of those questions and their answers in a stock email or document that you can send them will reduce some of that. I have no idea if that would work for you, just an idea I have from some past similar experiences. Maybe your boss will get you a temp assistant who can answer the repetitive answers and leave you to handle the more important (& less aggravating) problems.
As far as those friends, I think everyone's right that they're hoping they can do something but don't know what to do, especially if you're currently doing it all yourself (they may not see just how bad it's stressing you).
Don't forget to give them the opportunity to help you; that's what friends and family are for. If you're a member of a church/synagogue/etc., you have a dedicated support group there, too. They're also probably going to have members who provide different kinds of support, love doing it, and have experience and expertise at it, too.
Even if it's just making a one-pot dinner and eating on disposable dinnerware, that's one less thing for you to worry about and even a lazy or self-absorbed son can take care of cleaning up after that and still have time to vacuum.
Let what isn't important during this crisis go; you (and friends and family) can bring those things back to normal later. If it drives you nuts to not have a clean house, let a few rooms be the "no time to clean it now" rooms and shut the door on them as long and as often as you can. If it makes you feel better to stop every once in a while and clean, just pick a small area to clean.
Make a list of what does really need to get done now.
Let your son choose some of those things that he can do on a regular basis and let him do those.
Let him do some (or all) of the work for coordinating with friends who want to help to get things on your list done. It may not always get done the way you'd do it, but at least it will get done. If you need groceries, write a list and have a friend or your son do it or hire one of the services that deliver. As long as you have toilet paper, you're probably not going to really care right now what brand it is!
Keep in touch with your friends and dump on them as needed. Obviously that includes all the people at BYC who care about you, but don't forget the friends who are physically near you, too.
Don't think about how big the support system is or about coordinating it. You know this is a big crisis; use a big support group. That's what they're there for and they wouldn't be there if it wasn't right to use them. If coordinating it becomes too big a task, delegate that task to a team of your son and people who are experienced at it (church support groups and friends).
When it still feels too much at the end of the day, remind yourself that you need to sleep and it will have to wait until tomorrow. Then put the job of worrying about it in God's hands (or your other higher power, whoever that may be), hug your hubby, and go to sleep remembering there are a lot of people out there praying and rooting for you, too.
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