It sounds like you did a great job at a very difficult task which I myself probably couldn’t do nearly as well if I had too. You indeed prepared yourself well with proper research. It had to have been so difficult for one who loves your birds as you do. Culling birds you try to take such good care of cannot be easy no matter which route one chooses to take. You did a very noble thing and now your sick bird is out of her illness and suffering as she should be. You did very well. You don’t need anymore affirmation than that.I'm not sure if this is in the right forum section, sorry if it isn't. I'm not quite sure where to put it.
Yesterday I killed my first hen, and frankly my first animal, ever. She had an infection that I failed to cure, and I needed to put her out of her misery. I care for my chickens and think of them as pets, so this was very hard for me to do but I knew it needed to be done. I watched lots of videos weeks prior using the broomstick method and I knew exactly what to do. The fact that I killed her doesn't exactly bother me, it's that I keep second guessing myself and thinking "what if she wasn't dead after I pulled? What if she was alive and she died in slow agony?" but I keep telling myself that that is not, and can not be, the case.
Immediately after the dislocation:
Given all this, she had to of been dead instantly, right? There's no need for me to second guess myself.
- She started flapping uncontrollably, which is a good sign that she was dead, that is the body's natural response.
- I checked her eye, as I have seen suggested as a good way to check for life/consciousness. Her eyes were closed so I pulled her eye lid down. There was no voluntary/involuntary movement that would indicate brain function. Her eye lid did slide back closed but I think that was just her eye lid moving naturally. Her third inner eye lid did not move.
- I felt her neck at the site of the dislocation. I could feel only flesh, no spine. Her neck was also limp. Her spine was separated from her skull, which would mean nothing other than death.
- After a minute or two I felt her neck again and I think I could feel the blood pooling, which is also something I read that will happen using this method with the head still attached. No blood going to the brain, also means death.
I think part of the reason that I'm second guessing myself so much is because when I pulled, I don't remember doing it. This may sound silly but I think I just kind of blanked out and my body took over, and because of that I didn't feel the pop. It's all fuzzy and even more so the more time that passes, even though it only happened yesterday. But even so I knew that the dislocation had happened. It's as if I didn't feel the pop but my brain registered that it happened. There was calm, then the hen flapping. It was over so quick, and it was so easy and went so smoothly... it felt almost too easy as if I didn't do it right. But I KNOW I did... right?