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I country that consumes a "lot" of soy is Japan, they eat edamame, soy sauce and tofu and sometimes soymilk... but the list really ends there (one study stated that the average Japanese person consumes betweem 4 and 8 gms of soy protein a day)
Here in the States we're feeding soy to our chickens, pigs, cows and turkeys... which means that all those animals will have soy by-product in their flesh when we end up processing them and eating them. What our meat eats, we eat.
We're also being fed things from "health food" suppliers that contain HUGE amounts of soy, i have some whole wheat flour tortillas made with hydrogenated soybean oil (don't even get me STARTED on polyunsaturated fats, lol). Nowadays, we have soy in our breakfast cereal, bread, salsa, cakes, candies, sauces, protein powder, energy bars... everything... and that's in addition to soymilk, soy cheese, soy nuts, tofu, edamame, soy sauce etc.
I completely agree with you on moderation... I enjoy tofu sometimes, i eat sushi and use soy sauce consistantly, but that's pretty much where my soy intake ends (i HATE miso soup btw). I feel the need to eliminate soy as much as possible from food items that HAVE NO NEED for it.
It reminds me of the high-fructose corn syrup ads, they state "it's just fine in moderation" and indeed it is! Unfortunately it's practically impossible to limit our intake of HFCS when it's in our cereal, bread, condiments, candy, juice, soda etc. (the average American consumes 41.5 POUNDS of HFCS annually).
I think this is the reason behind the soy hysteria ( if that's even the right word), it's fine in moderation, but how can we personally moderate the largest crop in the U.S. that is put into way more of our food than we even realize?