Life Happens- Mom's Health, My Health, and the man... **Update Pg 48**

[bumpershoot]

Quote:
You are TIRED. Not selfish. Rest is critical to get when you are stressed. And you are stressed in both fun and not so fun ways.

Prayers sent for both you and your Momma...

 

[Iowa Roo Mom]

Just left the hospital, it's 1230 AM. Mom's BP is back up to 92/60, not great, but better than it was. I am physically and emotionally drained, and when I walked through the ER to leave, he was back from his transfer. I didn't even get a goodnight or goodbye.

ETA: Some things are better left unsaid and hindsight is always 20/20. And could someone please tell me why I have a knack for really screwing things up?

 

[Iowa Roo Mom]

Just got a call. Mom is having chest pain radiating down her arm, she wants me out there, so I'm off to the hospital.

ETA: We're here, dad, middle DB, and myself. Troponins are negative, EKG was pretty much unremarkable, and we're waiting on the results from the chest x-ray. I feel lots better with family here, it's not all on my shoulders for a change. Dad will be making the decisions tonight- I'm just here, tired, burnt, and drained. I've already e-mailed my instructors letting them know that I will not be in class. There is a day of sleep in my future I think.

Oh, and a few ER people have came up and asked how I'm doing and how mom's doing after they called the rapid response. Chris was not one of them. There's trouble in paradise, folks- but at this point, that's the last of my worries. I've done this for well over 10 years by myself, and by God I can continue to do so.

Thanks for the hugs and prayers

 

[sonew123]

Quote:
aw hunny...stay strong stay strong stay strong. paradise never stays paradise forever-but maybe he's a bit scared about whats going on with your mom-he might not be good at those things at all...be patient and your right thats the least of your worries family comes first..

 

[bumpershoot]

sleep first paradise second. There are any number of things that could be going though his head, but you need to rest first and then go talk to him.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

Oh, baby where did you get the idea that crawling under something and crying was a BAD thing???

Seriously kiddo, sometimes you just gotta be sad. And ya gotta grieve. Cause you know life is just plain hard sometimes.

Sleep deprivation makes everything harder to bear.


Prioritize. Work on deciding - after some sleep - what are you carrying that other people can handle? Are you looking to the hunny for support and he's not giving it? Back burner him and his issues. You can deal with that later. (I know easier said than done.) School is an issue. Are your instructors supportive or being hard? How much time can you miss? How much have you missed?



Here's the hard part. When you are in school and have a seriously ill family member it gets really hard. Been there, done that, got the therapy bills to prove it. Spending time with your loved one is really important.BUT< if they are in a hospital and being tended and there are other family members that can watch over them - you sitting there until midnight isn't helping anybody. Unless she asks for you (she did the other night right?) Don't run there for every health bobble. You like the nurses. Ask them trust them to call you if something goes seriously wrong.


This is really hard. But, would your mom want you to give up school so you could sit and watch her suffer when you couldn't do anything about it?? Just a thought. And dang girl go have that cry, you'll feel better.

 

[sfw2]

I have WHAT in my yard? :

Oh, baby where did you get the idea that crawling under something and crying was a BAD thing???

Seriously kiddo, sometimes you just gotta be sad. And ya gotta grieve. Cause you know life is just plain hard sometimes.

Sleep deprivation makes everything harder to bear.


Prioritize. Work on deciding - after some sleep - what are you carrying that other people can handle? Are you looking to the hunny for support and he's not giving it? Back burner him and his issues. You can deal with that later. (I know easier said than done.) School is an issue. Are your instructors supportive or being hard? How much time can you miss? How much have you missed?



Here's the hard part. When you are in school and have a seriously ill family member it gets really hard. Been there, done that, got the therapy bills to prove it. Spending time with your loved one is really important.BUT< if they are in a hospital and being tended and there are other family members that can watch over them - you sitting there until midnight isn't helping anybody. Unless she asks for you (she did the other night right?) Don't run there for every health bobble. You like the nurses. Ask them trust them to call you if something goes seriously wrong.


This is really hard. But, would your mom want you to give up school so you could sit and watch her suffer when you couldn't do anything about it?? Just a thought. And dang girl go have that cry, you'll feel better.

This sounds like great advice. And I heartily agree about having a good cry. It's the body's way of washing all the crap out of your brain!

for you,

for your mom and

for your guy.​

 

[muddyhorse]

You are a great daughter and a great girl. you are in a brand new relationship, and dealing with a lot of heavy stuff. I know a lot of
emts have to learn how to shut them selves off from emotions so they can do their job. He may be having a hard time knowing how much you need him.

He is a guy after all they don't use the fluffy huggy parts of the brain

 

[Iowa Roo Mom]

I have WHAT in my yard? :

Oh, baby where did you get the idea that crawling under something and crying was a BAD thing???

Seriously kiddo, sometimes you just gotta be sad. And ya gotta grieve. Cause you know life is just plain hard sometimes.

Sleep deprivation makes everything harder to bear.


Prioritize. Work on deciding - after some sleep - what are you carrying that other people can handle? Are you looking to the hunny for support and he's not giving it? Back burner him and his issues. You can deal with that later. (I know easier said than done.) School is an issue. Are your instructors supportive or being hard? How much time can you miss? How much have you missed?



Here's the hard part. When you are in school and have a seriously ill family member it gets really hard. Been there, done that, got the therapy bills to prove it. Spending time with your loved one is really important.BUT< if they are in a hospital and being tended and there are other family members that can watch over them - you sitting there until midnight isn't helping anybody. Unless she asks for you (she did the other night right?) Don't run there for every health bobble. You like the nurses. Ask them trust them to call you if something goes seriously wrong.


This is really hard. But, would your mom want you to give up school so you could sit and watch her suffer when you couldn't do anything about it?? Just a thought. And dang girl go have that cry, you'll feel better.

Ok here's the sticth, with school, at least my nursing classes, we are allowed to miss TWO classes before we start to lose our professional accountability points. Today will be day one. The thing was not a matter of being tired for class, it was a decision based upon not putting myself behind the wheel of the car and driving for the hour it takes me to get to those classes. That would not be safe for anyone on that highway after being up for 24+ hours, including myself. But yes, I agree with you.

The problem is, she does ask for me. Why me? Because one DB is farther away being a (stay-at-home) dad, and the other has his own problems (without getting into details, he is irresponsible with some chemical dependency issues) Historically, I have always been the one to be there.

I don't go out there for every health bobble, I can't. I trust these people, I work with them. They are, essentially, my work family, and are more suppportive than most. But last night, once again, she asked for me. She did so because she was scared. That, and her nurse called my cell phone because mom was worrying her. So why did DB and DF show up last night? Because I asked for them. I was scared. I can only deal with so much on my own.

As far as the whole man situation (the entire reason this thread was created) he's not even on the back burner.I've said it before and I'll say it again, I have dealt with this for well over 10 years without him. I can continue to do so. I have friends that I can talk to about things, shoulders to cry on, people who have been there for me time and time again through all this (and BYC of course) He can focus on his work, and I will focus on my mother's health and school. At this point, I am done communicating with him. If he wants to know how my mother is, or how I am, for that matter, he knows my number. No more going through the ER while he's working. No more stopping by his house (which is just down the street from the hospital) I don't have time to be looking for him to support me, I'm pretty sure if he wanted to be supportive, I shouldn't have to (be the one looking). But, for whatever reason, he hasn't been very supportive these last couple of days, and if thats how he wants to be, thats fine with me.

The main thing is, whether or not we stay in this relationship, I only want one thing. I want him to be happy... He just needs to figure out the etiology to that.​

 

[sonew123]

Quote:
Ok here's the sticth, with school, at least my nursing classes, we are allowed to miss TWO classes before we start to lose our professional accountability points. Today will be day one. The thing was not a matter of being tired for class, it was a decision based upon not putting myself behind the wheel of the car and driving for the hour it takes me to get to those classes. That would not be safe for anyone on that highway after being up for 24+ hours, including myself. But yes, I agree with you.

The problem is, she does ask for me. Why me? Because one DB is farther away being a (stay-at-home) dad, and the other has his own problems (without getting into details, he is irresponsible with some chemical dependency issues) Historically, I have always been the one to be there.

I don't go out there for every health bobble, I can't. I trust these people, I work with them. They are, essentially, my work family, and are more suppportive than most. But last night, once again, she asked for me. She did so because she was scared. That, and her nurse called my cell phone because mom was worrying her. So why did DB and DF show up last night? Because I asked for them. I was scared. I can only deal with so much on my own.

As far as the whole man situation (the entire reason this thread was created) he's not even on the back burner.I've said it before and I'll say it again, I have dealt with this for well over 10 years without him. I can continue to do so. I have friends that I can talk to about things, shoulders to cry on, people who have been there for me time and time again through all this (and BYC of course) He can focus on his work, and I will focus on my mother's health and school. At this point, I am done communicating with him. If he wants to know how my mother is, or how I am, for that matter, he knows my number. No more going through the ER while he's working. No more stopping by his house (which is just down the street from the hospital) I don't have time to be looking for him to support me, I'm pretty sure if he wanted to be supportive, I shouldn't have to (be the one looking). But, for whatever reason, he hasn't been very supportive these last couple of days, and if thats how he wants to be, thats fine with me.

The main thing is, whether or not we stay in this relationship, I only want one thing. I want him to be happy... He just needs to figure out the etiology to that.

Dang girl good for you--I am woman hear me roar I hope he gets some bugungas and calls you to tell you whats up one way or another though. As far as your mom?? My mom does that with me-Im the one she calls not older sis or younger bro-they both have great busy lives as do I I just seem to be her rock as she calls me. Im ok with that but there are times where it does drive me nuts when its consistant for piddly things... Sis lives 1 mile from her I live 20 miles bro lives 10 miles...I will jump though when she wants me because I am her daughter and I love her