*~Lost Loved One Support Thread~*

[Mother_Hen2011]

Quote:
Thank you so much

Yes I have considered it. I cant afford it at the moment or I would be there right now!

Instead Im getting help from those who share the same feelings and similiar situations. It makes me feel better knowing Im not alone and that the pain does subside. I remember when I first found out I lost the baby my whole world fell apart. Now its just sometimes around this time since I get really down. Normally I have so much to do in my daily life that I can block it. I lost my baby in March of 2009 which is really close to my fiances birthday. I was due November 17th. So around this time Im just alittle more depressed than normal.

 

[Chic-n-farmer]

I lost two sons to stillbirth. Both were full term, with my first being a week overdue. We never got answers. I understand what you are saying. I've been there too.

My first son would have been 26 this year. It was 12 years before I became pregnant again and had a healthy boy. Those were some long, painful years of waiting.

When our boy was 4 we had another stillborn son. (He would have been 10 next Tuesday.)

I thought the world would end. It just compounded all the grief and pain of the first loss, but now we had a toddler who was grieving, too. I know what you mean by bad memories. They play through your head over and over again. It does get better. You will go longer without thinking of it. I don't think it ever goes away, but it does get better.

It's still hard to rejoice over someone's pregnancy when it brings up all the tragedy of your own. Don't beat yourself up over it. Take care of yourself the best you can.

I now have two healthy children.... our daughter was born 16 months after her brother. We are truly blessed and knowing our two boys are waiting in Heaven for us makes it so much easier to bear.

 

[sourland]

VERY early in our marriage my wife lost a child early in pregnancy. 47 years later in spite of having and raising 2 children I sometimes wonder about this child. The pain has been replaced with acceptance, but the 'what coulda beens' still exist. My mother lost 4 of 7 children at childbirth - it rendered her absolutely fearful of loving - I have finally come to understand that it was her way of coping. Love yourself and those who love you.

 

[Mother_Hen2011]

Quote:
Oh your story made me cry

Me and my sister were due at the same time.. I find myself sometimes getting angry with her because her baby lived and mine didnt.. I mean its a long story why. She has 2 boys and she doesnt take care of them my mother raises them.. Thats what runs through my head alot... How can she have 2 beautiful boys but got take away my baby? I take care of my daughter myself and I work hard to do so. Yet I get pregnant and God takes him/her away from... ? for the longest time I couldnt understand and sometimes I still find myself questioning why it had to be me? But then I start to think God did it to make me a stronger person. He gives us all obstacles to go through and the loss of a child just happened to be one of mine. Maybe.. I dont know sometimes. She got pregnant a couple months ago and I was so angry at her I said things about her that maybe I shouldnt have because soon after she lost that baby.. I have prayed and prayed for forgiveness because I know the pain she feels and I never wished that pain on her. She is my little sister and I love her. She has handled her loss very well. Yeah she mourned for about a month but she finally told me "I cant do this. I cant feel all this pain. I dont want anyone to say anything about the baby I lost and I want to pretend like I wasnt even pregnant. It will be easier that way for me. I just looked at her like oh my wish it was that easy for me.

 

[Mother_Hen2011]

Quote:
Thank you sooo much sourland

Im sorry for your loss as well! I am lucky to have the people I do in my life. My beautiful daughter and step kids are the ones that keep me going everyday. (Along with the chickens of course

and ducks lol ) My mother lost her second child but had 4 beautiful girls

My younger sister lost her 3rd baby and I lost my second. Im wondering if it could be a genetic thing?

 

[Highlander]

I have had 5 consecutive losses over the last 4 years, the most recent in April this year so I too know the pain. It got better for me when we decided to call it a day and I was mentally able to move on and close that particular chapter of our lives. It still hurts of course but it gets easier every day. Everyone copes differently and what is a reasonable period of time to grieve for one may not be the same for someone else. You say that counselling is not an option for you right now but perhaps you could find an online support group to talk things through with others that have been through it and understand. Don't be rushed into "moving on" if you are not ready. Do it in your own time.

 

[Mother_Hen2011]

Quote:
Oh my I am sooo sorry

I already have found my support group! Right here I have found more people grieving the loss of a child than I have found anywhere else

I should change the name of the thread to a support thread for those going through a loss of a loved weather it be a child or a family member or a friend.

Yes it is taking sometime and have told my fiance I am gonna wait until I have gotten myself over the majority of the pain and loss that I feel. He said hes ok with that. That he must accomplish the same thing. When we are ready we will try again and hopefully be succsessful! I am sending many prayers your way that when you are ready you will have a BEAUTIFUL healthy baby to hold

Thanks for the support and hugs

 

[Chic-n-farmer]

Quote:
Thank you sooo much sourland

Im sorry for your loss as well! I am lucky to have the people I do in my life. My beautiful daughter and step kids are the ones that keep me going everyday. (Along with the chickens of course

and ducks lol ) My mother lost her second child but had 4 beautiful girls

My younger sister lost her 3rd baby and I lost my second. Im wondering if it could be a genetic thing?

Yes, it's the loss of all those years of love and hopes and dreams. It's a wonder we do survive it. But we do. We are so much stronger than we think.

We had genetic testing done with our fourth pregnancy. We still have no answers. We went through the whole family history with my grandmother losing two boys young, my aunt had a stillborn son... no answers.

Take care of yourself and cut yourself some slack. I think your feelings are normal. They sound like what I have felt and what I've heard from others.

 

[Sjisty]

I lost my son 12 years ago and still sometimes I cry. I know my case is a little different because I had him for 19 years. I would be worried if you didn't cry. You loved your baby whether it was born yet or not, so just give it time and know that you are not alone.

 

[Chic-n-farmer]

Hi, V.