Lost My FIL Unexpectly

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by vfem, Feb 18, 2009.

  1. vfem

    vfem Yoga...The Chicken Pose

    Aug 4, 2008
    Fuquay Varina, NC
    Yesterday, I REALLY tried to go on like nothing was bothering me. I came to the computer when the emotions were too out of control around the house. My husband did the same. We played on our little websites... read some news updates... but ignored emails and the phone quite a bit.

    My husband's father died yesterday morning very suddenly and unexpectly due to a still unknown cause. It was quick and instant though... so no suffering... they couldn't revive him.

    Its eating away at me, my husband is only 28 and his dad was not very old. He walked with a cane from a construction accident but other then that Healthy. Sadly, he worked with his dad until they both got laid off together in October. My husband found work and his father didn't. I have my fingers crossed it had nothing to do with that, or something from a past job or the injury from several years back.

    I just know that my husband and his father were NOT close, and had butt heads on every ocassion known to man. Both agreed to try to get right with one another though, and had spent the last 10 years arguing, fighting... whatever you want to call it. There were times of pure hate between them, and I never felt very welcome.

    The last 3 months had been very good between them, my FIL finally wanted involvement with our daughter who's now 2. He'd call, he'd drive twice as far as before when lived near him to even visit. The last time he was here he even told his son he was proud of him.

    I've worried and thought on it enough, just hoping my husband really saw how far they came, and just how proud he really was of him. They we're perfect, but in a better place, a good place... and I couldn't handle my husband beating himself up over past guilts that are long over and done with.

    I'm just very sad right now, and if anyone has a story to share of getting a family through this, feel free to share. Anything would make me feel better... I just want to feel stronger.

    (On a side note, yesterday was also our 4 year wedding anniversary... but I dare not bring that up! He did though.... and was very sweet about it. However, we can celebrate us anytime!)
  2. KellyHM

    KellyHM Overrun With Chickens

    Sep 10, 2008
    Lakeland, FL
    [​IMG] I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm glad they at least made up a little before this happened. This hasn't been a good week for a lot of people apparently...a friend of ours lost their baby (delivered at 23 weeks) and another friend lost her grandmother (unexpectedly also), so just know you're not alone and we're keeping everyone in our prayers.
  3. Tuffoldhen

    Tuffoldhen Flock Mistress

    Jan 30, 2007
    I'm so deeply sorry you are having to deal with something like this. I lost my father suddenly when I was 27 he had a stroke and was only 53. It's a very trying time but trust us all it's something you will get through in time. Hugs!
  4. CityClucks

    CityClucks The Center of a 50 Mile Radius

    Jan 31, 2009
    Tulsa, OK
    I am so very sorry for your loss, but I know you are comforted that your family's relationship with your FIL improved so much in the last few months...those last good memories are the ones to focus on, I think.
  5. AussieSharon

    AussieSharon Chillin' With My Peeps

    Dec 18, 2007
  6. miss_jayne

    miss_jayne Lady_Jayne

    Jun 26, 2008
    Columbiaville, MI
    i'll be praying over your family. [​IMG]
  7. ranchhand

    ranchhand Rest in Peace 1956-2011

    Aug 25, 2008
    I am sorry for the loss, but I am happy they had some times at peace as well. This is probably even harder for your husband, but he might be like my own DH and try to hide it some.

    He never shed a tear about his mother, until he thought he was alone. I just let him be, that's his way.

    I wish you all strength and peace in these difficult times. [​IMG]

    edit for sp.
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2009
  8. al6517

    al6517 Real Men can Cook

    May 13, 2008
    I am sorry for your loss, Praying for your Husband and your family.

  9. Farmer Kitty

    Farmer Kitty Flock Mistress

    Sep 18, 2007
    Sorry for your loss. [​IMG]
  10. gumpsgirl

    gumpsgirl Overrun With Chickens Premium Member

    Mar 25, 2008
    I'm so sorry for your loss. [​IMG]

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