Question...............................
So, I often give family members eggs, meat, wine, etc. But I think I am about to change all of that. Reason is.........................
Problem # 1- My brother will text me and "SAY" that he needs some eggs. (free of course) I'll text him back and let him know when I will drop off his eggs off at his house, which is usually on my way to work. So, I usually drop off 3 dozen because he eats eggs every day. This will help me so that I am not dropping off eggs for him ALL the time. So giving him free eggs is not the problem. This is where the problem comes in at. When I give him his 3 dozen eggs, he gives 1 dozen to his mother-in-law and 1 dozen to his brother-in-law and that leaves him with 1 dozen. So, when he gives away 2 dozen and only has 1 dozen, that makes him run out of eggs early and he ends up texting me wanting MORE eggs. I know that we can't control what a person does with something once we give them things but what we can control is the amount that we give the person, so that person just can't willfully give their free stuff away.
This same scenario happened when he asked for lamb meat. I gave him 2 packs of lamb meat and he gave both packs to one of his friends so that "they guys" could cook it and eat it when watching the football game a few months ago. My brother is the NICEST person that you would want to meet and really enjoys sharing anything and everything that he has. But enough is enough. That is a great trait to have but when I give something to HIM, I am giving it to him for him and his family to enjoy. When he gives everything away he only has a limited amount of his food left and then wants more. And the more he gets is yet again given away and I am not feeding the neighborhood - sorry. I am about fed up with this and I am about to do something about it. I will now only give him a very little bit of what he asks for. When he asks for eggs, I will only give him 1 dozen egg. If he wants to give away 6 eggs and keep 6 eggs for himself, then that's on him but 1 dozen is IT. Same thing with meat....I will only give him 1 pack with only enough meat for 1 serving per family member. He now wants some of the broilers but I know he will only give those away to people, so I will only give him a very small broiler for him and his wife. Nothing larger that will feed more people because he may decide to have a cook out or something and invite the neighborhood.
This same thing happened on yesterday when my cousin came over to help process the broilers. When I first got the broilers, I told him that I would give him some processed broilers because he frequently helps me out when I call him and I wanted to share with HIM as a gesture of my thanks and appreciation for everything that he does for me. So, on yesterday I offered to give him a few broilers for his help processing the broilers and he refused because his live in girlfriend can't cook and he didn't want her to ruin the meat. So every time I asked him he said no. So, his girlfriend's sister called and asked him how much were the broilers. He told her and hung up. So I asked him if she wanted to buy some broilers and he said yes. I told him how much the broilers were. He said, well just give me the broilers that you were going to give me. So, then the light went off. I asked him was he going to GIVE her the broilers. He said yes. I told him NO. I told him that she would have to pay for them because the broilers that I wanted to give HIM was for HIM to enjoy and not for him to give away. So, then he said that he wasn't going to give her the broilers. I told him that he wasn't telling the truth because he had already refused the broilers because his girlfriend can't cook. So, then he said that he was going to give the broilers to his girlfriend. So, I asked him was he giving the girlfriend the broilers so that she could give to her sister. He didn't say anything. So then he says that he was going to take them for himself. I know that he was not telling me the truth but I can't do anything about this. And the sad part about this story is that the girlfriend and the girlfriend's family uses him. They know that he is generous and they can get anything from him that they ask. So, they know that asking him to give them something, he will do it. He is too soft hearted and people always use him.
So this is what I"m dealing with. So what is your take on giving things to people who turn around and give most of it if not everything away to someone else (who doesn't need it and just wants it because it's free and because they are greedy.)?
Now I can understand if there is some needy family or person who needs food to eat, then that's ok because I would give them the food myself. But for adults who have jobs and can buy these items who just want want want. I don't think so. And I"m the first person to give things away but I can't tolerate greed.
Am I being selfish?