Makeshift Family of Misfits?

[Miltonchix]

According to the BYC Rules:

* Be friendly and courteous to all members at all times.
* Be nice to newcomers and help them feel welcome.
* Respect that people may have a different political, religious, philosophical and cultural background than you.

3. No Flaming (verbally attacking people or groups of people - e.g. a profession, an organization, a company.)
4. No Trolling (posting to provoke others, luring them to flame or rant). Trolling is sometimes done involuntarily, so please be considerate when posting.

Thank you for understanding. ~Lisa~​

 

[justbugged]

Quote:
I re-read this original post and I understand it better now.

I would definitely want you to be part of my community. I like people that are open to new ideas, and are accepting of others. I have met a number of people that I would love have be part of a supportive neighborhood, here on back yard chickens. It can be a rather fun place. I hope it is a place where we can get hugs when things are tough, and a place where laughter is heard daily. I think that there are a number of young people that need the stability that some of older ones can. I find that I am attracted to funny intelligent people. There are some really great people here that can be counted one for support. Most of us will not support self-destructive behavior; some of us are a simply gentler when giving support, than others. I think that all of the advice has a similar message in it. There are just different ways of expressing it.

There are those that those that I have met here that I don't think that would always enjoy having them add to every thread. The need for compassion and kindness seems to lacking at times. Maybe they are right about pulling yourself up but your bootstraps. But I always seem to read of an underlying anger or fear in that message. Self will is perhaps one way to live your life, but from what I have seen it is only marginally different and a lot less kind way of giving their opinion, than finding a compassionate way to the same place. I am getting to old to want to bother with their advice. It is such negative advice. It implies that any person can as productive, or as blessed as they are. That is a false statement. Everyone has differing abilities and gifts. If we were all alike then most of us would be unnecessary.

Everyone needs to understand the past in order to not repeat the history. I also agree that one cannot wallow in the past forever. You need to learn, and understand it quickly, and then move forward. It is okay to see where you came from, so that you can change the course of your life. It is okay to not know where you are going for awhile, but to strive for better than the past is not a bad goal. Life has a funny way of choosing your path for you if you don't. There is an art to living in the moment. That is all that any of us have. I know that I want my moment to be as upbeat as possible.

Another thing I am learning is, that there are those who will and yet cannot manage to not read a thread without making an intolerant comment, nor can they just ignore it either. A thread like this is a magnet for negativity, and snide comments, and some cannot help but share.

It might be time to close this thread down now, because these comments will not stop. Perhaps you can re-post to a different type of forum, or a blog that some supporting ones can follow.

You do have a very entertaining question.

 

[The Chicken Lady]

Quote:
That's what the report button is for.

I've cleaned up this thread. No one is being forced to post here, and if they don't have anything nice to say, they should find another thread to read and post in.

PureFluff, I hope you do have a chance to travel and find something that will bring you happiness. You deserve it.

Great post, justbugged. I like it when BYCers support each other. We all have at least one thing in common -- a love of chickens. For all our differences, there are still plenty of things about all of us that are the same. If we focused on those things more, the world would be a much nicer place to live in.

 

[Chickenmaven]

I would like to second (or third!) comments that say "Go for it."

You can live on the edge, travel, explore when you are young.

One thing that struck me was the way you characterized your artsy friends in terms of "gender issues." I have an impression of Ireland being a very Catholic, hetero place. I'd advise doing some research. My gay friends were surprised to find that "groovy, laid-back" Jamaica is one of the most intolerant places on the planet. Sometimes the fantasy colides with reality.

Thank goodness, we have the internet, so we can get the scoop from others.

Best of luck!!!!

 

[CoopCrazy]

Quote:
This is soo true.... I have a few friends that ahd a very scary time when they tried to visit....

 

[sgtmom52]

If you want to go ~ you may first wish to travel to the area and spend some time there before moving ~ but do it while you are young and not tied down. You don't want to grow old and say "I wish I would have, but...."

From the time my daughter was in Jr. High she had a wish to live in Japan. She started teaching herself the Japanese language, when to college and majored in International Studies and Japanese. She studied abroad in Japan her sophomore year and loved it. Upon graduation she moved to Japan and for the past 2 years has been teaching English to middle and elementary school students in northern Japan. She loves living in Japan and has no regrets. I don't know if she ever will move back to the US ~ but it is her life and her choice and she is happy! We miss her her ~ but it did give us a reason to make a trip to Japan last spring. Thankfully the internet makes it easy to keep in touch.

 

[justbugged]

Quote:
I find it fascinating that there children that just seem to know that they belong else where in the world. My son in Law is from the Netherlands, and has always placed himself here in the Seattle WA area. I also know of another young man from Washington state that is now living in China. It is though they know where they belong, and prepare themselves for it their entire childhoods, so that they can go home. They truly remarkable people. You must be so proud of your daughter.

 

[PureFluff]

@The Chicken Lady - Thanks for cleaning the things up, it seems a shame that people thought I was whining when all I was ever doing was explaining a situation. I'm glad, however, there ARE supportive people here.

Quote:
This is a ~wonderful~ point, one of which we did not consider much. I will bring it up. Though honestly, we'll probably end up living together in the US if we ever get this together, at least first.

I'm glad that everyone's been so helpful and insightful. I figure exploring these options is much better than getting knocked up right out of highschool and getting married because you're ~so in love~ only to get divorced the next year. Not that that ALWAYS happens, but it happens to people with my flighty personality.

I'm not trying to be whiney. I'm not weak. Just to clarify to those who were all ticked off for some reason. I'm just honest. I'm different. It's not good, but it's not the end of the world either. My friends, they are also weirdos. We have issues, some mental, some environmental, all personal. I do not think the idea of us coming together is something that should be viewed negatively. If anything, at least we'll be out of the people who don't appreciate our quirk's hair.

♥ Love all.

 

[justbugged]

Very gracious, and well said PureFluff. I have had much more conservative background, but I do understand about being different. I have always felt that I am more of an observer, with an odd need to preform. I clearly have moments when I tend to step into things and manage to upset everyone. I know that i never intentionally do this, and yet I am darn good at it. i always try to do things with the best intentions, and yet I can irritate people by just being in the room. I think I was a servant in a past life. I just can't figure out whether or not I was any good at it or not. I was raised in a very conservative Christian church, so by believing in past lives I am not living in accordance with the church. I have always been interested in things that I was taught to avoid, or were wrong according to the bible. This makes me a misfit. I am finding that I kind of like it these days. Different is going to be okay.

 

[PureFluff]

Quote:
I know what you mean. While perhaps religion hasn't been the actual issue, the same kind of mentality of being afraid of something other than what they believe is an issue. My family is the kind that is extremely ashamed of me for things like owning a pitbull, being an artist, going to a therapist, or even the fact that my parents are divorced. Not even accounting for the sexual orientation and gender issues.

I think, though, that the important thing should always be to be yourself and to apologize to no one for it. If you have to explain it to someone, that's okay, that's understandable, but life is too short to worry about fitting in with people that don't understand.

That's why I'm looking to take the opportunity to surround myself with people that do, if only a little bit.