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Haven't been on my thread a long time. It's winter so not much more than maintenance has been done. Dealt with a lot of late night worrying about the coyotes that have been around but living in suburbia you just listen and pray.
Winter has been a tough season for me... No sunshine.. No time outside. It takes everything in me to just wake up and be ok in my own skin. I know I'm not alone in this... But the self hate really digs it's self deep at times. I stay home. I focus on the kids and fear all back lash out of communication cause I fear the outlast of all hated things that are me that I don't see. I'm counting down the days... Hours... Minutes to have a reason. I beg for the time I'm not trying to force a change to me.... I need sunshine.