Marriage - How did you know he/she was the one?

[LovinMyChickies]

We've been married for 12 and together for 22. We lived together before marriage. We both were afraid to get married because of the high divorce rate. We finally decided to when our son was a year old! Not very traditional, I know, but it worked. We're still going strong.

Best advice I can give you, get to know him before you marry him. Make sure he is your best friend. Because when things get rough (and they will) that friendship will carry you through.

It also does'nt hurt to learn to compromise.

Good Luck

 

[BarkerChickens]

We've been together for 5-1/2 years and have lived together pretty much since the first week. We both knew right away that we were "the one" for each other. Not only was it the small stuff such as similar interests, but the communication was there right away and, since we are both head-strong, we balance each other equally. We compliment each other's personalities very well. I am not sure it was a light bulb going on or anything like that, but more of a "I can most definitely see myself being happy with this man for the rest of my life" kinda thing. From what I have been told, his sister knew that I was "the one" for him the first time she met me and told their mom that I was going to be her SIL.

We are finally getting married this summer (yea...we have gone backwards). His mom is very happy that we are finally making it official, but my family and most of his family pretty much thinks of us as married. Even our vet just calls me Mrs. Barker. HIS niece tells everyone that HER Aunt is getting married!

 

[Tuffoldhen]

40 years this April.. Dated almost 2 months before we married.

 

[17roses]

I have been married over 10 years. My husband is def the "one". Always was and always will be. How do I know? Because we choose it. We believe that love is a choice. I don't think love is a "feeling" because feelings change on a moments notice. Attraction, lovie feelings and love are 3 seperate things, though I admit it is important to have all 3. True love (imo) only really shows itself (doesn't mean it is not there) when you are in moments that you don't have the lovie feelings. How do you treat each other in an argument. How do they react when someone treats you badly? Etc.

As far as helping a marriage "survive" ... I think if you have the same "core" beliefs, things work out better. My huband and I are very different but we agreed on money, raising children and religious beliefs before we got married. I think that if you can agree on those things - every aspect possible (debt, spending, stepchildren, infertility, schooling, requirements for your belief system, etc) - before you say your vows, you are way ahead of the game. I would also recommend discussing another more private subject (even if it seems "too late" for that) before jumping in to a marriage. Remember it's not a wedding that is important it is the marriage.

Disclamer: This is only the things I believe and take it as that. I am not asking anyone to agree with me and I am def not trying to offend anyone.

 

[BantyHugger]

I am not married, but i have asked my grandparents about this numerous times. They just celebrated their 48th yr together so i just got to hear the story again. My Grams says that its because Babes (my Grandpa) needed her (he has always been almost 90% deaf). He wasn't particularly tactful in showing his affection (he threw her in a pool) at first but they bonded. The person My Grams was betrothed to was apparently rapidly becoming an alcoholic. She wanted a man who wouldn't leave her wondering at night and Babes was stable. To this day he has never smoked or drank and as soon as he gets off work he runs home to her. Brad White (the man she was betrothed to) on the other hand is exactly what she feared. He drinks and smokes and has had at least 3 wives. They keep in touch sometimes because they were childhood friends after all. My Grandfather has never wanted/needed anything more than what my grandmother could give and vice versa. They stuck together threw all sorts of bad times. Had my Grams settled for anyone she didn't want, a less stable man for example, i doubt the marriage would have worked.

 

[Mahonri]

How long have you been married or together? How did you know that he or she was the one. How long were you together before you got married?

Any advice for couples considering marriage?

22 years in June.

She smiled and I was smitten!

Eventually, I took her swimming too.

Met her on Dec. 14th. asked her to marry me on Dec. 24th (10 days later) We were married the end of June.

Here we are 22 years and 7 kids later.​

 

[cjeanean]

Quote:
Granted, I'm not one of the "old timers", but I've been very happily married for three years. We've had some pretty tough times, and the whole first year of our marriage was AT EACH OTHERS THROATS, seriously. The only reason we didn't split up was because we entered our marriage with the understanding that this was REALLY for better or for worse and divorce was NOT an option unless abuse was happening (which wasn't a problem). Instead of getting divorced three months into our marriage (like we would have) we stuck with it and April Fool's Day is our three year anniversary out of many more to come. We had been together for 16 months before getting married.

BTW, he's the one who knew. He told me three hours after he met me that he was gonna marry me. I thought he was nuts....(of course, I still do....

)

 

[Sock Puppet]

Met my husband at the end of Oct, engaged in Dec and married in March

My 16th Anniversary is in 2 days

Communication is very important though hard to do at times.

also showing them their love language.

There is a book http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/

Very Important! We all have something that makes us feel loved mine is Quality Time. My husbands is Service. We usually show what we need. So if you show your spouse what they need it makes them feel loved and vice versa.

Good if you have kids and teens as well.

Anyway, this book helped save my marriage

 

[Tailfeathers]

Quote:
That's good advice. If you open the door to divorce, someone or something will always be pointing the way for you to go through it, especially The Enemy who hates Marriage.

Whoever mentioned "The Five Love Languages" gave wise counsel. It's a great book. I would also strongly recommend attending a Weekend To Remember and a Love & Respect Conference.

I believe God is the author and Creator of not only Man & Woman but Marriage as well. So obviously I believe one needs to follow His Instruction Manual to have a successful marriage.

Finally, the best advice I ever heard was recently when our pastor said, "When will you know you've found the right one and should get married? Just keep serving God and when He's ready for you to be married, He'll interrupt your service and bring you the right person and you'll know it."

God Bless,

 

[Blueroo63]

this November will be the silver aniversy 25 years,was both drunk and the next day he would'nt leave,2nd marriage not as easy as I made that sound like i am.yes first date but had been alone for to long so gave in and he never would leave after that hope this helps , NO

I'M NOT, don't call me that

it all truned out alright because here we are 27 years later still going strong