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Whatever you do, do it on your terms. I wouldn't even have him at the house. I would meet him at a restaurant or a park. For me, that would minimize the stress and drama. I can't imagine that any reason he has to leave you after 32 years is a good one. Before he even gets there, you should really search your heart and determine if you want to reconcile or not. If he wants to come back, you will already know if you want to consider it or not. If he wants to remain apart, tell him that you will consult with your lawyer and get back to him later. Don't let him string you along, make demands or gult you into anything. Be calm, cool and in control. Put yourself in the position of power. Let him know that even though he has hurt and victimized you, you will not just roll over and take it. People can only use you as a doormat if you lay down and let them.
If you both want to reconcile, let him know that there will be changes and no more knives through the heart. An agreement to counseling might be a good idea too.
BTW if it were me and I took him back, I wouldn't trust him completely. I would start moving things into my own name and get financially independent because he might run off again.
Be strong. You can get through this. You don't need him. You deserve better. If divorce is imminent, you are better off mad than sad until the proceedings are over. You will have the rest of your life to be sad. You will only have a short while to protect property that is rightfully yours.
horsejoy and hereforlovinglady are spot on, be strong and write your questions down. Even if you don't use the questions when you see him it will help to put them in your mind so you do ask them.
In one part of your heart you still love him and always will but you need to examine the other part and see if you can live with this type of stress of wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. I held out hope for too many years that my ex would change - it just doesn't seem to happen. If he wants to reconcile, then make him work really hard for it - he will have to re-establish your trust and let him know that will take some time. I too would not have him to the house - stay on neutral ground. If you get to emotional walk away and see him another time when you are stronger. You sound like a very caring and loving person and you do deserve to be treated with respect!
Sandee
