Quote:
OMG, ROFL!!! YOU are hilarious...but let me add, very good advice to give.
OMG, ROFL!!! YOU are hilarious...but let me add, very good advice to give.
Married BYCers
- Thread starter I have WHAT in my yard?
- Start date
Date or be engaged for a long enough time to see the real person and not just who they want you to see. Accept what you can not change and don't expect them to change who they are.
communication and never ever go to bed mad....and make sure you ALWAYS get a goodnight kiss...be open about your feelings and wants fears and such.
The honeymoon period will NOT last forever. Sometimes you will not like your spouse very much, choose to continue to love him/her anyway. Marriage takes work, on both sides, and commitment. Don't expect marriage to be a fairytale, with a "happily ever after" ending -- unless you're willing to take the time and effort to write the story - and all good stories have both ups and downs in them.
Married 17-1/2 years.
Married 17-1/2 years.
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sit down and discuss things, most things can be worked out if talked about and opinionated enough, there will be times you want to kill them, I asked DD last week if Tn had the death penalty for murder and she said yes, After 56 years I think I know when to just leave the room.,
marrie
No need to rush.
Make sure you are both mature enough to get married in the first place. Do you have a career? Are you stable?
Get to know the person and their family well. Sometimes the thing we loved about them is the thing we end up hating. For example, he will be such a good provider turns into he does nothing but work.
Be real during courtship - don't do things you don't want to end up doing forever - for example women sometimes do lots of cooking and cleaning to impress at first (and early in marriage), but eventually get resentful that they do all the cleaning and cooking. The men are like "what do you mean? You've been doing it forever - I thought you liked it!?!?!?!
Learn to make decisions together and fully listen to the other person's input.
Don't expect to be "in love" forever. Love matures beyond that silly, crazy thing we call "romantic love". Don't think just because you don't feel all giddy when you see them that you don't love them anymore. Especially once you have children it turns into a partnership - you love and trust each other and make your life work. It doesn't have to be flowers, candy and kisses all the time - and it probably won't be.
Married 18 years
Make sure you are both mature enough to get married in the first place. Do you have a career? Are you stable?
Get to know the person and their family well. Sometimes the thing we loved about them is the thing we end up hating. For example, he will be such a good provider turns into he does nothing but work.
Be real during courtship - don't do things you don't want to end up doing forever - for example women sometimes do lots of cooking and cleaning to impress at first (and early in marriage), but eventually get resentful that they do all the cleaning and cooking. The men are like "what do you mean? You've been doing it forever - I thought you liked it!?!?!?!
Learn to make decisions together and fully listen to the other person's input.
Don't expect to be "in love" forever. Love matures beyond that silly, crazy thing we call "romantic love". Don't think just because you don't feel all giddy when you see them that you don't love them anymore. Especially once you have children it turns into a partnership - you love and trust each other and make your life work. It doesn't have to be flowers, candy and kisses all the time - and it probably won't be.
Married 18 years
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Formerly married BYCer.
Go in with your eyes wide open with the intent of forever. But if you find yourself in a dangerous situation don't be afraid to ask for help and get out.
Know the person to the best of your ability, but remember, people can hide things from you, just as you are hiding things from them.
Be honest, but be nice when you are. Just because you are married to someone it doesn't mean they have to take a lot of crap from you, and you don't have to take it either. Work on it together.
Don't expect perfection, you will always be disappointed. Appreciate the little things more than the big things, because that mean you were thought of at that time, and it was spontaneous, because you are loved. Say think your for the big things, because someone spent a lot of time planning something for you.
Value every little gift, including the gift of time and self, time especially because it's hard to come by and can never be taken back.
Don't fool yourself into believing a separation is only temporary, it's too easy to to leave, and too hard to come back.
Let the first and last words of the day be I Love You.
It's ok to argue, but not to stew on it. Make an agreement that you fight during daylight hours, once the sun sets, the argument stops, and if you feel like it in the morning after the sun rises, finish it then
Love yourself first, because if you can't love yourself, it's really hard to love anyone else. Need your spouse, but don't be needy. Trust your spouse, don't question every move that is made without you. A little doubt can go a long ways, but a little trust goes farther.
Show your true self, you kind hide who you are forever, and it's only fair that the other person knows who they are marrying, and hope that what you see is truly what you are getting.
Never set out to hurt the ones who love you, or they will stop loving you.
Be accepting, but don't be used. Never abuse love and trust, they are the hardest things to ever get back.
Go in with your eyes wide open with the intent of forever. But if you find yourself in a dangerous situation don't be afraid to ask for help and get out.
Know the person to the best of your ability, but remember, people can hide things from you, just as you are hiding things from them.
Be honest, but be nice when you are. Just because you are married to someone it doesn't mean they have to take a lot of crap from you, and you don't have to take it either. Work on it together.
Don't expect perfection, you will always be disappointed. Appreciate the little things more than the big things, because that mean you were thought of at that time, and it was spontaneous, because you are loved. Say think your for the big things, because someone spent a lot of time planning something for you.
Value every little gift, including the gift of time and self, time especially because it's hard to come by and can never be taken back.
Don't fool yourself into believing a separation is only temporary, it's too easy to to leave, and too hard to come back.
Let the first and last words of the day be I Love You.
It's ok to argue, but not to stew on it. Make an agreement that you fight during daylight hours, once the sun sets, the argument stops, and if you feel like it in the morning after the sun rises, finish it then
Love yourself first, because if you can't love yourself, it's really hard to love anyone else. Need your spouse, but don't be needy. Trust your spouse, don't question every move that is made without you. A little doubt can go a long ways, but a little trust goes farther.
Show your true self, you kind hide who you are forever, and it's only fair that the other person knows who they are marrying, and hope that what you see is truly what you are getting.
Never set out to hurt the ones who love you, or they will stop loving you.
Be accepting, but don't be used. Never abuse love and trust, they are the hardest things to ever get back.
everything that you think that you are "just overlooking" and will change after you get married. Or wont matter after you get married..
IT DOES MATTER!! if it bothers you now... even the slightest .. it will bug the snot out of you after you get married..
it will drive a wedge and you will no longer be able to over look it..
Really try hard to take off the rose colored glasses that we all wear while dating..
Take longer if there is any doubt ... even if the wedding is in a month..
I wish I had waited longer.. I didnt because I didnt want to disapoint everyone that was planning on being at the wedding .. plane tickets .. bla bla bla...
they are not here dealing with the junk now.. I am ..
Just know that you know that you know.. no doubt whatsoever!!
IT DOES MATTER!! if it bothers you now... even the slightest .. it will bug the snot out of you after you get married..
it will drive a wedge and you will no longer be able to over look it..
Really try hard to take off the rose colored glasses that we all wear while dating..
Take longer if there is any doubt ... even if the wedding is in a month..
I wish I had waited longer.. I didnt because I didnt want to disapoint everyone that was planning on being at the wedding .. plane tickets .. bla bla bla...
they are not here dealing with the junk now.. I am ..
Just know that you know that you know.. no doubt whatsoever!!
- Nov 12, 2008
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Me and Sam got married 2 weeks after we graduated highschool. We had a kid the September after graduation.
Over the passed 7 1/2 years we've grown up alot.
Things don't always go the way you planned, never go to bed angry, always be thankful, talk with eachother.
We had both of our familes "disown" us because we got married and had a baby so young, but honestly, I couldn't ask for a better husband and kids.
Just make sure your ready for the road ahead.
Over the passed 7 1/2 years we've grown up alot.
Things don't always go the way you planned, never go to bed angry, always be thankful, talk with eachother.
We had both of our familes "disown" us because we got married and had a baby so young, but honestly, I couldn't ask for a better husband and kids.
Just make sure your ready for the road ahead.
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