Mean Kids

[herfrds]

Talk about a 180!
I work with one of the parents that did not go. Well their child complained that I was mean to them. I talked with the parent and told them what happened. Their child had to apologize to DD, but their child said DD had been mean to them when they first moved here so DD had to apologize too! The parent told their child that my concern was their safety and the other kids too.
As long as the ring leader is not around the girls get along. Told DD to stay away from the trouble maker.

 

[HeatherLynn]

Found out it is definitely one ring leader. Makes me mad because DD was always friendly with this girl when the others weren't. Told DD to stay away from this girl. Unfortunately she is in our 4-H group.

I will say up front, my kids are a tad weird. We are good with that. Heck our family as a whole is kinda weird. We live debt free and frugal ( apparently not cool), we don't do violent games, half the popular shows are banned in our house, we don't do eat out, I will not pay a car payment for a birthday party...... the list of differences goes on a long time. The kids got picked on a bit at first but have learned how to deflect and make friends. My son is the funny one about this. He just tells the bullies the unpopular kids outnumber the popular kids and can take them on any day of the week. I suggested he stop trying with the popular crowd and just make friends with those he has something in common with ( the other weird unpopular kids). A key to this was scouting organizations, our church group, various clubs, camps, ect.

Your daughter doesn't need many friends. If she can find just a little group of her own where she is completely accepted then it gives a buffer to the meanness from the others. I would advise her not to try with these girls. Her trying and crying in front of them only feeds the bully. They like it. They want her to cry. I would go so far as to have her shun them. Once they matter so little to her that she gives them no attention then things usually shift. If possible take the class mate who is nice to her and invite her over for something special. See if you can help your daughter grow that group a bit.

 

[herfrds]

Good ideas Heather, but there are 7 girls in this class. DD has been invited to 2 different parties. A lot of the kids are all into sports and we are not. She has her own interests which I encourage.

We are weird too with no debt, no new vehicles, no mint for a party.

What is sad is the mean girl used to be friends with DD. No idea what turned her against DD, just told DD to stay away from her.

 

[chelsealynn]

Man...bullies are the pits! High school is hard for everyone. Hormones, changes, growing up, all that stuff. I was the fodder for bullies a few times and it definitely scarred me but I do believe it made me a stronger person (if not a little bit more bitter). The best thing you can do is congratulate your child for being a good person and being better than they are. Nothing helps a hurt better than an ego boost!

------


Chelsea
Life is Beautiful, Live Outside!

ProbioticSmart.com - healthy products for healthy living for people, pets and livestock!

 

[herfrds]

chelsealynn we have a young man working with us at the store. Nice kid.
Talked with him tonight and he is being bullied too. He hangs with myself and another co-worker and we believe it is because we are good role models and a "mother" figure.
I plan to talk to him about dealing with these bullies. He is being threatened at school. Told him to report it and start writing down when it happens.

 

[animallover505]

Kid cam be mean. I should know, I'm in high school. I have never had a problem with bullies, I have a couple of protective friends and no one has ever wanted to bother me. I bake a lot, so I'm on everyone's good side. But I have had a problem with kids being my friend when they first come to school, then forgetting me. I'm a major people-pleaser, and I want to be everyone's friend. When you see someone who you thought was your good friend talk about a party to other kids, then just walk past you as if nothing happens, it kinda stings a little bit.

 

[herfrds]

DD went to a 4-H camp and other then one kid that told her she was fat and stupid she had a great time.
Made new friends and had a blast.

I pointed out to her there is always a negative person no matter where she goes and she just needs to ignore them and move forward.

 

[animallover505]

I'm in 4-H. I'm on the wildlife judging team. I've made great friends on it.

 

[Whittni]

I think a bit of nasty lip never hurt anyone dealing with ridiculous people bullying them. This would have to be a backup plan if needed:

If they bully is uh, generous in the bust, maybe have your daughter respond with a little sass and say something like, "You know what they say, without a bra you'd be sagging on the ground." then give a quick look up/down. Then carry on something like point out a trait about the mean kid and say its linked to inbreeding in people and mention what kind of person she is. Maybe mention how her family is crap. Young teens even get a kick when you mention stuffed bras too.

That's the way to tear down a mean girl but more than likely that the mean girl is probably going through something harsh herself so it'd be okay to carry on with life anyway.

 

[babylady4]

If they bully is uh, generous in the bust, maybe have your daughter respond with a little sass and say something like, "You know what they say, without a bra you'd be sagging on the ground." then give a quick look up/down. Then carry on something like point out a trait about the mean kid and say its linked to inbreeding in people and mention what kind of person she is. Maybe mention how her family is crap. Young teens even get a kick when you mention stuffed bras too.

That's the way to tear down a mean girl but more than likely that the mean girl is probably going through something harsh herself so it'd be okay to carry on with life anyway.

Um, no this is not acceptable. You do not retaliate in this manner for the reasons you stated, they may be going through something and you have no idea what that might be.