Sitting here steaming a little.
My MIL (notice there is no D in front of it) is old....82. She fell earlier this year and dislocated her artifical hip and tore some muscles. Went through PT and was told she needed some help...that the time had come. DH had tried to move her to this area a few years ago and at the last minute she would not come. This time he told her she had to....that she could no longer live in her house alone. She lived 60 miles from our house. She was supposed to do exercises and get up and walk several times a day. She did not and can hardly walk across the room and if you take her anywhere she won't get out because she can't walk. Won't use the electric carts at the grocery store.
So, we brought her to our house for a 'few days'. Well it was two and a half months and DH was already working and then I got my call out two weeks later. I cooked and cleaned and did laundry and helped her shower on my own up until then. We had to go to work and she did not like it.....Finally her apartment was ready in Senior housing and while working 6-12's I got her moved in to her apartment.
Now, if this was my mother there would not have been a problem. She would have worried about being in our way and me having to do too much, especially once I started working. As it was DH and I had different days off and he was at her beck and call on his day off.
BUT......this is his mother and she is NOT a nice woman. Ugly to everyone. Kids need to be straightened out. Ugly to grand kids and then does not understand why they don't like her. But I put up with it and did everything I could do.
Now....my DH is out of town working and will be gone anywhere from 35-60 days. So it is all on me. For two weeks I have been at her apartment (20 miles away) three times a week. Taking groceries. Picking up and delivering laundry. Straightening out meds. Going to the drug store. Plus, on the weekend I pick up my DGD. On top of all this I we have two special needs adult kids...his and mine. I take care of them also and I am the one that has to sign/fill out all the paperwork for their housing and work. Monday I was by there to 'straighten out meds' and drop off laundry, do her dishes and she was complaining about not getting out of the apartment. It was raining and storms were coming in, high winds. I told her I would be back Wednesday and get her out of the house. So she calls me yesterday afternoon, Tuesday, and wants to know where I am and why I did not come. I tell her it is Tuesday and I had told her Wednesday.....so, she says it does not matter. I tell her again that I will be there Wednesday....once again she says it really does not matter. So, I get up today and think....I am just not going to enable her anymore. She needs to understand that I am not at her beck and call....and that yes, it does matter....that I drive 40 miles round trip just to get her out of her apartment matters. There are buses that go to the Senior Center that she could go on any day of the week. But she is feeling sorry for herself....once again. So....DH (H today) calls a few minutes ago and says....thought you were going to get mom....and I say she said it really did not matter so I did not go! He is not happy. But tomorrow I have to be in town for paperwork on the big kids at 8am. Friday I have to be in town.....another 12 miles further....to pick up my DGD. So, my answer is.....it does not matter so why go if I have to be in town the next day anyway? I know....wrong answer....but this woman no matter how old she is, needs to understand that she needs to be a tiny bit appreciative of the people who do things for her and that the world does not spin around her head!!! My big kids that are special needs show more appreciation than she does!! That is it....I feel better....but still...it makes me feel bad.
My MIL (notice there is no D in front of it) is old....82. She fell earlier this year and dislocated her artifical hip and tore some muscles. Went through PT and was told she needed some help...that the time had come. DH had tried to move her to this area a few years ago and at the last minute she would not come. This time he told her she had to....that she could no longer live in her house alone. She lived 60 miles from our house. She was supposed to do exercises and get up and walk several times a day. She did not and can hardly walk across the room and if you take her anywhere she won't get out because she can't walk. Won't use the electric carts at the grocery store.
So, we brought her to our house for a 'few days'. Well it was two and a half months and DH was already working and then I got my call out two weeks later. I cooked and cleaned and did laundry and helped her shower on my own up until then. We had to go to work and she did not like it.....Finally her apartment was ready in Senior housing and while working 6-12's I got her moved in to her apartment.
Now, if this was my mother there would not have been a problem. She would have worried about being in our way and me having to do too much, especially once I started working. As it was DH and I had different days off and he was at her beck and call on his day off.
BUT......this is his mother and she is NOT a nice woman. Ugly to everyone. Kids need to be straightened out. Ugly to grand kids and then does not understand why they don't like her. But I put up with it and did everything I could do.
Now....my DH is out of town working and will be gone anywhere from 35-60 days. So it is all on me. For two weeks I have been at her apartment (20 miles away) three times a week. Taking groceries. Picking up and delivering laundry. Straightening out meds. Going to the drug store. Plus, on the weekend I pick up my DGD. On top of all this I we have two special needs adult kids...his and mine. I take care of them also and I am the one that has to sign/fill out all the paperwork for their housing and work. Monday I was by there to 'straighten out meds' and drop off laundry, do her dishes and she was complaining about not getting out of the apartment. It was raining and storms were coming in, high winds. I told her I would be back Wednesday and get her out of the house. So she calls me yesterday afternoon, Tuesday, and wants to know where I am and why I did not come. I tell her it is Tuesday and I had told her Wednesday.....so, she says it does not matter. I tell her again that I will be there Wednesday....once again she says it really does not matter. So, I get up today and think....I am just not going to enable her anymore. She needs to understand that I am not at her beck and call....and that yes, it does matter....that I drive 40 miles round trip just to get her out of her apartment matters. There are buses that go to the Senior Center that she could go on any day of the week. But she is feeling sorry for herself....once again. So....DH (H today) calls a few minutes ago and says....thought you were going to get mom....and I say she said it really did not matter so I did not go! He is not happy. But tomorrow I have to be in town for paperwork on the big kids at 8am. Friday I have to be in town.....another 12 miles further....to pick up my DGD. So, my answer is.....it does not matter so why go if I have to be in town the next day anyway? I know....wrong answer....but this woman no matter how old she is, needs to understand that she needs to be a tiny bit appreciative of the people who do things for her and that the world does not spin around her head!!! My big kids that are special needs show more appreciation than she does!! That is it....I feel better....but still...it makes me feel bad.
