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Miscarriage or not?

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by michickenwrangler, Mar 17, 2012.

  1. michickenwrangler

    michickenwrangler To Finish Is To Win

    Jun 8, 2008
    NE Michigan
    Near the end of January, when my period was a few days late, I had a suspicion and took about 6 pregnancy tests to confirm that I was indeed pregnant.

    My morning sickness started a few days after that, it affected me quite badly. I was vomiting often, had a hard time finding food to eat that didn't nauseate me and was tired constantly. A few weeks later, I became very ill with a bad cold. I was vomiting even more, even more exhausted and had a hard time keeping liquids down. I also began suffering from depression. My husband had died last winter and this last spring (no lecturing, I've already heard it) began dating again. Though I know I jumped the gun, I did luck out in finding a wonderful man. He moved in with me end of last October.

    In spite of 3 kinds of borth control, I still wound up pregnant (still don't know how). Since rhythm was one method, I was keep meticulous records of my cycles. My last cycle began on Dec 24, 2011 (also was out of town and forgot pads, another reason I remember so well). Anyway, there was still some depression lurking from mourning my late husband but an unexpected pregnancy took its toll on me emotionally.

    So, while I was sick, I also contracted head lice from who-knows-where and fought that for most of February. So add anemia on top of all that.

    To make things worse, my principal told me because I had to set a role model for my students and that I was pregnant and unmarried less than a year after my husband passed, I "have to be discreet" with this pregnancy. Then because a combination of pregnancy/illness/anemia/depression my performance drastically declined at work and I was told that my contract would probably not be renewed the following school year (I don't have tenure yet). So add some stress and anxiety on top of that.

    My one saving grace was that DBF (and a dear, dear one at that) basically ran the house, chores, dishes, cooking, taking care of my daughter, animals and me. He was also looking forward to being a father again.

    I went in for an ultrasound last Thursday at 11 weeks (between 11 and 12) because the heartbeat couldn't be detected by doppler. OK< no problem, a little early, placenta gets in the way sometimes. Go in for an ultrasound in a few days. No heartbeat was detected on ultrasound at, again, 11weeks+. The sonographer kept giving the monitor weird looks, said she had to call the doctor. DBF said, "Don't worry, she probably just has to confirm it."

    So sonographer comes back in and tells me to go to the clinic right away. "Is something wrong?" "I can't tell you, I'm not a doctor"

    We go to the clinic and they tell us that no heartbeat was detected. I'm going in for a follow up on Thursday unless I start bleeding or cramping before then.

    I had some mild cramps this morning low in the pelvis that feel like period cramps but they went away. My morning sickness was much less since last Wed. (day before Ultrasound) and contrary to my usual state, I've had energy since Tuesday.

    My mother who is an RN and also had a miscarriage at 13 weeks said that the placenta can still kick out some hormones so it may take 4 weeks for the miscarriage to begin.
    Again, until I get the 2nd one, I'm just stressed being in limbo, not knowing exactly what's going on.

    I'm not Christian and while I appreciate prayers and thoughts, please no preaching at me.

    Has anyone else had an experience like this? Advice? My mother the RN said that the ultrasound is much more sensitive than the Doppler at this stage. She said if they can't find a heartbeat at 11 almost 12 weeks, then I've likely lost it. Shortly before my ultrasound, Mom began to act very weird, calling me a lot and getting panicky about my ob/gyn appointments and stuff. DBF also had a dream that something went wrong and I had to have an abortion, which I do know the procedure for a DNC is very similar to an abortion.

    And so we don't get the thread closed because I DO need the moral support, please no debates about abortion. I am going in for a 2nd sonogram before any DNC will take place.

  2. CarolJ

    CarolJ Dogwood Trace Farm

    Jun 3, 2011
    Middle Tennessee
    I don't have any experience or advice to offer you. Just wanted you to know that I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time.
  3. FireTigeris

    FireTigeris Tyger! Tyger! burning bright

    I started at home losing blood (as I recall I was measuring blood in cupped handful) and having severe cramps and I had a fever due to the trauma of the miscarriage - at the hospital they did a pelvic ultrasound and Doppler when I got there.

    I had a miscarriage they sent me home w/o heartbeat at 10 +/- weeks and four days later I had a natural or spontaneous abortion, including the placenta.

    It was horrible, the fetus was about small melon sized, slightly larger then a softball and very painful real contractions but no dilation. The second it passed I felt 100% better and had no physical pain.

    They then did a vaginal ultrasound and sent me home w/o need of DNC.

    They gave me a course of antibiotics and a recheck in 2 weeks and directions to not use BC or get pregnant for 6 months to a year.

    I'm very sorry for your limbo in this situation- I hope your body does what it needs to.
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2012
  4. Duramaxgirl

    Duramaxgirl Songster

    Feb 12, 2010
    I hope all goes well for you. I'm due on April 6th and we had a really hard time getting the heart beat on this one till after 20 weeks. My placenta is on the front so getting the heart tones was almost impossible. Maybe that's also your problem. I had to have an ultrasound at 14 weeks because they couldn't get the heart beat.
  5. FlaRocky

    FlaRocky Songster

    Many thoughts and prayers being sent your way.... I know NO ONE KNOWS what you are having to live with, unless it has happened to them and that they have walked in your shoes.... I will be adding you and yours to my prayers.

    Try to keep your chin up get lots of rest. And above ALL Do Not Blame Yourself.... And most of all Wait until you see your Doctor and find out what is going on with this pregnancy. Stay Positive....

    Pm me of you need an ear

    Last edited: Mar 17, 2012
  6. SarahBeth9394

    SarahBeth9394 Songster

    Aug 23, 2008
    Just like the sonogram tech your mom is not a doctor and is just telling you something she's learned but can not in any way confirm and she could be wrong. There's a couple reasons ob nurses don't give out that kind of information. They aren't doctors and It can put undue stress on you and the baby that neither of you need. I'm not trying to knock your mom at all. I just want to tell you that the best thing you can do is stay positive for you and the baby.
  7. redhen

    redhen Kiss My Grits... Premium Member

    May 19, 2008
    Western MA
    I'm so sorry,.. :( :hugs

  8. Kelly G

    Kelly G It's like herding cats!

    ....so sorry to hear this. I know you've been through a lot in the last year and a half. Rest and surround yourself with those who bring peace into your life.
  9. booker81

    booker81 Redneck Tech Girl

    Apr 18, 2010
    Super big hugs! No experience here (I've only had early miscarriages - 6-8 weeks).

    Just want want to give support and online hugs for whatever may be.
  10. debilorrah

    debilorrah The Great Guru of Yap Premium Member

    Reading this makes me hope that you just had some incompetent people. They could not hear my son's heartbeat at 11 weeks either, but I was able to see him move with an ultrasound.

    If you do miscarry, please expect a broad range of emotions from anger and sorrow to relief and then guilt.

    PS - an abortion is a choice, a miscarriage is not, nor is terminating a pregnancy of a child that will do nothing but suffer. [​IMG]

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