Miscarriage or not?

[EweSheep]

Is there another school you can teach? That principal sounds like a hard ***!

 

[michickenwrangler]

Not really, I could resign and go back to subbing, but I really don't want to do that I mean, I would if I had to.

If DBF and I remain unmarried, I could always draw SSI through Wayne because I'm his widow.

I tried to emphasize that I need prep time and her first response was "Randy doesn't have a prep." "Randy doesn't have small children at home AND he hasn't just recently lost a spouse and child." She also said something about me being behind on my grading ... well DUH ... if I had a 55 minute prep time I could be caught up on it.

She also went on about how I need to be a firm disciplinarian yet build relationships with the students. That's really a fine line to tread with middle schoolers, and I'm sure that this is something that comes with experience. Shortly after her talk with me last February, she had me observe 2 other teachers while the 8th graders were on a field trip. One teacher showed me some computer applications to make my life easier that have been helpful but the other had the same "issues" that the principal said that I had. Students were getting up while she was talking, another student would get out of his seat, fidget, sit back down, get up, fidget. It probably wouldn't have been so bad but he's probably close to 6 feet tall, stout with bright orange hair. He's pretty hard to ignore!

I'm not saying that I'm perfect, I do need to work on my classroom management, but lately with this depression and apathy, it doesn't seem to be working.

 

[newfoundland]

IMO what you really need now is to take the pressure off. Would it be financially possible for you to leave work for a while perhaps. Then you can concentrate on yourself and your recovery. I think you have enough physical and emotional issues to work through without the added burden of an extremely stressful job and unsympathetic colleagues. I have worked many years in schools in England and nobody, but nobody, who hasn't been there, can understand how physically tiring and mentally draining it is to stand up in front of a class every day! I have seen good teachers broken by the sheer slog of continually having to control unacceptable behaviour, and I believe in the US it is worse. For your health sake and your sanity, and also for the well being of your family and relationship, if it is in any way possible, resign. You may face being absolutely broke, but you will ultimately be better off for it and so will your nearest and dearest!

 

[EweSheep]

AMEN to that one!

A good teacher gone bad (sick in mind, body and soul) would be NO help or benefit for her students. A good LONG summer vacation would do the body wonders. Even to a year if your husband can support you for the time being.

IMO what you really need now is to take the pressure off. Would it be financially possible for you to leave work for a while perhaps. Then you can concentrate on yourself and your recovery. I think you have enough physical and emotional issues to work through without the added burden of an extremely stressful job and unsympathetic colleagues. I have worked many years in schools in England and nobody, but nobody, who hasn't been there, can understand how physically tiring and mentally draining it is to stand up in front of a class every day! I have seen good teachers broken by the sheer slog of continually having to control unacceptable behaviour, and I believe in the US it is worse. For your health sake and your sanity, and also for the well being of your family and relationship, if it is in any way possible, resign. You may face being absolutely broke, but you will ultimately be better off for it and so will your nearest and dearest!

 

[michickenwrangler]

DBF was encouraging me to take a leave of absence back in February when my illness was at its worst. Again, I slogged on thinking I couldn't spend any time out of the classroom. Starting to rethink that decision now ...

 

[FireTigeris]

FMLA. really 12 weeks I needed some of it

 

[EweSheep]

Go talk to hubby and find out what you can do for your SSI for you and daughter...you are going to need it.

 

[michickenwrangler]

Go talk to hubby and find out what you can do for your SSI for you and daughter...you are going to need it.

Er, hubby died. I do get money for DD because of her father. I don't currently draw it for myself--guy at SSI office said I made too much money--but I could draw it if I stayed unmarried and my income went down.

Though DBF wants to get married (he actually brought it up in our first phone conversation) and now I do to, but I can't if I need to draw the SSI

 

[HeatherLynn]

Make a plan. A List. Man I love lists. It will help you organize what you need and what you want to do

1) You NEED a break
2) You Want to get married eventually
3) You have a way to bring in some money until you do get married
4) You are already facing unemployment with this school system and I still think have recourse with the comments made by the principal. She is an HR persons worst nightmare it seems.

So I think you should plan to take a break. Give yourself time to recover, to get your mental state back on track. You can always plan to get married. Get engaged and plan for something in a year or so. By then you will be feeling better and can go back to work. In the meantime you would be collecting SSI which will keep you afloat. Things will just keep getting worse if you stay so stressed, sick, and exhausted that you cannot heal. I am positive your DBF will agree, since he was already pushing for you to take a break.

 

[newfoundland]

HeatherLynn is absolutely right, and I think a big part of you knows you desperately need a break. Trying to carry on long after you should have taken time off, not wanting to let people down, feeling that your responsibility to the job is more important than anything - been there, done that! Trust me nothing is more important to those that love you than your health and well being. Get off this treadmill, it is dragging you down. Good luck to you.