Miscarriage or not?

[M.sue]

michickenwrangler I am sending many *hugs* and no I have no personal understanding of what you are going through. We probably have really different perspectives on life such as I tend to pray when life is really hard. I hope you are Okay with me praying for you now. Either way please know that I am sending those *hugs*. I hope that things will work out better in the future. I can say that God is near us all especially in our suffering and we can always call out to him. I hope for the best for you. Your life is precious and it has purpose.

What a beautiful reply.

michickenwrangler......

 

[EweSheep]

 

[michickenwrangler]

Thanks again everyone for kind words and thoughts

My mother and DBF's sister are on me to have another child now (despite the fact that the doc said to wait at least 6 months) and again, they are quite appalled that I do not want another child. My mother even told me yesterday "That is so selfish of you." I'm not quite sure how it's being selfish, but it's adding another dimension of stress to what I'm already feeling.

 

[FireTigeris]

To dear dumb dumb... "No, it's selfish of you to want to put me through that against my wishes and against my doctor's orders- if you 'need' a grandchild... adopt one. thank you and have a nice life."

I hated a lot of what people said to me after my miscarriage- I didn't say things like above but I wanted to-- ohh did I want to.

*Hugs*

 

[EweSheep]

No, you are NOT selfish! It would be selfish to bring in a child in the world that you do not want...your daughter is your world and you have expressed so earlier in the past posts. If you two are NOT ready or need another child, are happy the way things are between yourselves, no need for more children either one of you want or need, then it is NOT selfish!

Yep, tell Grandma, be happy with one you have and cherish her. Mine did and they understood our reasons of not having another one and they never ever asked us to have another child to create additional stress and possible more Asperger's problems as hubby (and his own family) and daughter has. One is enough and I give all the love for my daughter I possibly can!

 

[StarLover21]

I'm sorry they're trying to push you into having another child...you are most definitally not being selfish. It is your decision, after all. I find it rather rude to even think about/mention that so early. Even if you do eventually decide to, you should definitally follow the doctors instructions.
Hope you fell 100% better physically and mentally soon!

 

[debilorrah]

What is God's good name is wrong with some of the people in your life? I remember being asked "when are you having another one?" My response was never. We are divorcing. Practically NO ONE got it. It's over. I am done.

Sigh.

Thankfully, we can choose when to have kids and when not to. I am really sorry you are dealing with insensitive people about this. Losing a child is hard, and no matter how many people make it seem small, it is not.

 

[ebwy2]

I would just tell them "my uterus, my business" or "what makes you think that you have ANY say in what goes on in my uterus?"
they may think that's a rude reply but I think anyone telling you you must have a child is rude too.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

For people close to you, such as your mother, I would suggest saying something like, "Mom, it is very hurtful of you to tell me how to live and what choices to make. You were given your life, and it was your decision on how many kids you wanted to have. This is my life, and the number of kids I choose to have is MY choice, yours or not anyone else's. How would you have felt, or how did you feel is or when your mother told YOU what choices to make?

I think you also need to stop giving her so much personal information--some boundaries are best kept with privacy.

For random acquaintances, you can choose between a stare at them like they are out of their mind, a strong "and this is your business, HOW?!" and choosing some equally obnoxious and personal thing to tell them that they must do--the more outrageous the better.

 

[SillyChicken]

You're not selfish at all...I think it's admirable for someone to say, I'm not cut out to be a mom... I've seen a lot of women that NEVER should have had children, but did anyway, and I think they're far more selfish and self serving for doing it!

I completely understand how you feel, I never had any kids, never wanted any, never felt like mommy material. I think pushing anyone into having kids, is even more selfish! My response is, "You want a kid? Get your own!"

I HATED it when the Dr's felt they know whats better for our reproductive futures than we do. Since I was 13, I had to take so many pain killers I felt like a stupid dope all the time! Finally when I was 40, and practically begging them for it, they acted like saying hysterectomy was a dirty word, but the ONLY one I wanted to hear!