I WANTED a tugal ligation after I had my daughter when I was 24. They told me I was too young for it and refused to do it. I'm 31 now and feel that my child bearing days are over. I am not someone who enjoys being pregnant or babies. As Fianna turned into a toddler I never had an uge to have a baby to do it all over again. I was just thrilled she could feed herself and begin to play with other children. Even now, I see babies and I don't feel nostalgic or longing. I have been told by people (my mother, my first husband, even a friend of mine) that I'm not a good mother. I'm too self-absorbed and impatient to have ever been a mom in the first place. I love my daughter dearly, don't get me wrong, but I don't have an urge to have another.
The people that know I miscarried, most are being pretty supportive. A few have been annoying and even before the baby came out, I was hearing, "So, when are you guys trying for another one?" and been quite appalled when I said that we didn't want another one.
The last two days being blissfully doped on a combination of Delottit and Ativan have reminded me how sleep deprived I've been lately. Since my job performance right now is sketchy, I don't think sleep deprivation from having a newborn at home would be helpful.