Mom's favorite sayings

[Happy Chooks]

Where are we going? always got "There and back to see how far it is"
Two wrongs don't make a right.
I brought you into this world and I can take you out!
I hope you get a child just like you someday! (teenage years) And I did, my youngest is EXACTLY like me, it drives me bonkers!
If I have to stop this car, you're gonna be sorry.
How'd you like a knuckle sandwich?
One day he's gonna be bigger than you and you'll be sorry. (amazing how a scrawny pip squeak little brother can get so BIG!)
Hey is for horses, grass is cheaper.
Just wait til your dad gets home.
I'm gonna knock your arse (clean version) into next week.
Were you born in a barn?


But the scariest part is when you find yourself repeating them to your kids. I thought, ah crap, I'm turning into my mother!!!




And my favorite sayings from my grandmother:
No flies on you (meaning you don't sit still long enough for the flies to settle on you)
And being referred to as an ankle biter.

 

[Smokey the Chicken]

Get that chicken out of my house!

 

[feather and mountain man]

Clean floors start outside the doors. -----Interpretation---: Go sweep the walkways and steps.
Beat your feet, loose your seat.
Be home at 11PM not AM.

When are you going to be home?

 

[Hillbilly Hen]

Quote:

I forgot about that... Mom would tell me she was going to take me to Milledgeville!

 

[Cat Water]

My mom doesn't say many funny things, but my dad is very talkative.

"That's the best thing since sliced bread!"

"That's more frigged up than a soup sandwich"

"I'm gonna knock you into next week!"

"Shut up before I give you something to cry about!"

"I'm gonna beat you like a red-headed foster child!"

*After somebody sneezes* "You got dusty brains?"

"You need that like a hole in the head."

"You're doing great! If your goal was to suck!"

"Shut your canole hole!"

"Stupid is as stupid does!"

There are many, many more....

 

[Hillbilly Hen]

"Go ask your Daddy."

"If a frog had wings he'd fly instead of hopping along skinnin his butt on rocks."

"You two sound like cats with their tails tied together and on fire" [whenever my sister and I would argue, my sister was just 10 months older than me]

"I'm gonna jerk a knot in you"

My Ma [grandmother] would say "Git off me you darned fly, I don't know what dog's turd you've been liteing [landing] on"

 

[sourland]

"You're doing great if your goal was to suck."

 

[welsummerchicks]

"If you get hooked up with that loser, you will be taking care of him for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE".

"Where is your father? Where is your father, you ask? He's in the bathroom, ******* his life away!"

 

[yomama]

Quote:
Food.

That's what I tell mine. Sometimes I'll put on the smarty pants and say "Food. It's what's for dinner." Rather like the old Beef ads.

Similar for "What time is it"... Daytime or Nighttime.

Which reminds me, I call food what it is. Chicken is called chicken. Fish called fish. Pig called pig. Cow called cow.
Aggravates the crap out of my MIL for some reason, but I think it's just honest.

Not at all like my mom serving up beef liver and calling it steak. Didn't work on us, but Bro's friend fell for it and asked seconds.
That was a hard dinner to keep a straight face through.

Note: I personally think an overcooked steak tastes like liver, isn't that odd?

Liver

Never understood how someone could eat something that is designed to help filter toxins out of a body. No offense to liver lovers.
My answer to my girls constant "when will dinner be ready?" my answer "when it's done"

 

[yomama]

Quote:
That's so funny

Anytime I can't find my husband, ends up he is in his "office" taken' care of business.