my friend that i cant stand anymore

[Nicola]

ray's two cents :

Quote:
i tired talking about my life to her shes one of those people where it has to be all about her. my parents hate her they think shes snotty. i agree but i have been friends with her for years now and i guess im just sick of her now but she rides my bus and always sits next to me and as soon as she sits down she starts talking about her life and shes in my 4h group and shes in few of my classes at school

That sounds like a sticky situation. Sounds like she doesn't want to move on. I've known a fair few snotty friends over the years. Sometimes it's just my viewpoint, but if your parents think so too it must really be true.

How about telling her that you have a headache and you don't want to talk? I find going to the library when I want to avoid someone for a bit helps. Most of the really snotty girls are afraid of going in the library becasue they think it will make them nerds.

Ya know what i do when i don't want to talk to someone or listen to them complain, i put my earphones in and pretend I'm listening to music.. Or i actually do listen to music..

Works quite well.

 

[Fierlin1182]

Quote:
That sounds like a sticky situation. Sounds like she doesn't want to move on. I've known a fair few snotty friends over the years. Sometimes it's just my viewpoint, but if your parents think so too it must really be true.

How about telling her that you have a headache and you don't want to talk? I find going to the library when I want to avoid someone for a bit helps. Most of the really snotty girls are afraid of going in the library becasue they think it will make them nerds.

Ya know what i do when i don't want to talk to someone or listen to them complain, i put my earphones in and pretend I'm listening to music.. Or i actually do listen to music..

Works quite well.

That works too!

Unless you're one of my friends, who usually goes on talking oblivious to the fact I have earphones in, then expecting me to have heard and come up with an appropriate reply.

 

[violetsky]

There are a lot of people that need good riders to keep their horses fit or
to put miles on a green horse. Your parents would probably have to sign
a liabliltiy agreement but I bet you could help out a local horse owner who
would be glad to have you work their horses, even show them. Do a little research
outside of your friend's barn. When I was young I used to clean the barn and
feed my neighbors horses for riding privileges. Everyone gets knocked to the
ground, passed over when they really want something, the trick is to get back
up and keep trying. Kids that have parents that buy their way into everything
never learn what it takes to get something on their own and seldom appreciate
what they have. Every horse has its own value. I'd much rather have a horse
I can relax on, than a high performance ill tempered one. And, incidently, if your
friend's horse is constantly acting up, biting etc. she maybe injuring it and most
likely is not a good rider or horseperson.

As for art, I homeschooled my teenage daughter for a semester and found a lot of
online help. Just youtube something like painting a rose, or whatever medium you
want to work in like watercolor, oils, acrylic. For things like perspective, color mixing
or whatever just google. We did panda's for example and found a really nice example
of how to draw one.

I don't believe in throwing away friends unless they become really toxic. Sometimes
you out grow each other or develop different interests. There's no need to be hostile.
Your friend actually is probably insecure. It might make you a little nuts at first, but I bet
you could diffuse her nasty tendencies with a few compliments. She most likely will stop
trying knocking you if you counter her with a confident good for you attitude. When she brags
about her art/riding, just ask a few polite interested questions. People just love to talk about themselves.
Right now I'm guessing she feels competitive with you and somehow you're a threat. You
have to learn to deal with all kinds of people and since you can't avoid her you might as well
make yourself as comfortable as possible. Who, knows maybe she'll mature some over time
and you'll enjoy each other again one day.

 

[zrossk]

i know how you feel exept i cant have chickens

let alone horses

 

[itsy]

One of the most difficult things to do is to be direct with someone. Regardless of your age, it's a tough thing. Many adults still can't do it! If you can learn to be direct and tactful at a young age, it will help you later on for sure.

My best advice:

If you cherish her friendship and see the good in her (which it seems that you do, otherwise you'd have just completely ditched her), maybe you can listen to her talk for a moment and say "I want to talk about something with you that's bugging me and I hope you can understand where I'm coming from. When you talk so much about horses or art, it makes me feel badly about not having that as part of my life. I don't mean to offend you, but I wanted to let you know that because you're my friend and I would want you to say the same to me if it were bothering you. Sometimes I feel that you talk about what's going on with you a lot, but we don't talk about me as much."

This conversation may lead to an even better more in-depth talk with her. But - you'd have to make sure that you aren't angry about it. Maybe be at peace with the fact that she isn't saying/doing things to intentionally make you feel bad. Maybe no one listens to her at home or she feels like she doesn't get enough attention elsewhere?

On the other side - you could yes her to death, ignore her, avoid her, etc....but it's not getting to the root of what you feel is the problem between you guys.

Good luck!!

 

[redhen]

Being jealous makes you a very miserable person inside.... let it go. Be happy for what you DO have,...

 

[Mattemma]

I would do the same as Itsy by being direct but in a kind way. She may get embarrassed,but express it is anger so be patient.If there is good in her you might bring it out.Who knows what her home life is really like.Some of the most miserable people I have come across had a lot of stuff,and got every class/lesson,but they really hated being home with their family.They put up this image for the public,but a few people crack it and get at the real person beneath.

I am sorry to read about your parents negativity for your horse passion. I think it is wonderful that you could work in a stable,and that you currently save your money. I hope your parents will reconsider. It is a good path you are on,and I am not understanding why they are reluctant to encourage it.So many kids have no interest/no drive and spend their days doing...well unpleasant things.

Save your money and soon you can move out.Just think how wonderful it will be when you are on your own,and you no longer need to ask for permission. With hard work on your part you can achieve anything,and your parents(while maybe still not liking horses) will finally see what a good thing it is.

My daughter is great at art too.Everyone always has great things to say about her work.Classes however have never worked out as the teachers always had something negative to say in a non-constructive snarky way.Some need to work a bit on finding ways to encourage students rather than taking them down a notch,and making them afraid to be creative.

There are a lot of online lessons,and hobby stores have all the supplies you could ever dream of to experiment with. I don't know about artisits,but I have often read of many famous authors that faced a lot of rejection in their early years.Some comments were just spiteful and rude,but then there were those that offered constructive critisism that actually helped them tweak their work. That is what you are looking for.

Best wishes to you!

 

[Tracy the chick]

Hi hun, she might have a lot of friends but you have more on BYC!

. I actually loan my horse out to a young girl she just like you, her mam wont let her have a horse but is willing to let her loan mine.. If you get them newspapers out and look for horses to loan around your area and tell your parents if it dosnt work out with the horse and gets to expensive you can always walk away from the loan. Try telling your mum you can do extra chores for her.. If that dosnt work you could ask her if im not allowed to loan a horse could i keep 2 chickens that she could have eggs off everyday! Keep your chin up hun, Tracy xxxx

 

[HHandbasket]

When I was a kid, I had this friend who seemed to have the perfect life. Without getting into my "childhood issues" in depth, let's just say that I grew up in a house of confusion while my friend had BOTH of her parents (mine were divorced--met my "real" father for the first time a week before my 22nd birthday), had bookshelves filled with books and time/space to read and study uninterrupted, all the best dolls, her mother sewed and made designer clothes for ALL her dolls, she was super-smart, was skinny and cute and everything I wasn't. She would talk to me about her life, and I used to think of her like you do of your friend--that all she talked about was herself. Come to find out, she would talk about herself in an effort to get me to do the same ... she was trying to get ME to open up! I was 7 when I met this friend and was 9 when we became neighbors. Our family and her family bought homes in the same new subdivision & we lived 4 doors apart but had already become friends in school.

Fast forward 40-some-odd years. Today, I am 49 and my friend is 48. We are STILL friends. We have only seen each other maybe 2 times in the last 20 years, but we've kept in touch & are still friends.

As we got older, I came to discover that my friend's life was not so wonderful as I thought it was. Her parents were mean to one another when nobody was around & it was a miserable home for those kids to grow up in. All they had to lean on and help them feel sane were their "extracurricular activities," the clubs they belonged to and such. So there may be more behind the scenes with your friend that you don't know about, that you may never know about until much later in life. Maybe she talks about herself and her stuff and her activities because that's all she has.

I say any friend that doesn't mistreat you is worth the effort to keep. Sandi & I have had our ups and downs over the years, but we're still there for each other more than 40 years later. I've known her longer than I've known ANYBODY I'm not related to, and I'm very blessed she's still a part of my life.

Be patient and be kind. BE the friend you would like HER to be. Friendships ebb and flow, and sometimes we get tired of even our most tried-and-true friends, but that doesn't mean a friendship has to end.

 

[Oregon Blues]

You get to chose your friends, so if you don't like her, don't hang out with her.

The library is full of art books and art can be self-taught probably easier than you can learn it in a classroom. If you want to be an artist, work at it. You say you have some money, so you can buy your own art supplies. I recommend the book Drawing With The Left Side of the Brain. Or maybe it is the right side of the brain, I'm not going to go and dig the book out. You can look it up on Amazon and ask your local library to get you a copy of it to try before you buy.

Find an interesting hobby for yourself to occupy your time and your mind.

And seriously, you need to work on your jealousy issues. Lots of people in this world have more than you do and there always will be a lot of people who have more than you do. Learn to make the best of what you have. If you really want something, figure out how to make it happen for you. That is, if it is realistic; Edward isn't going to fly you away in a private jet. But if it is something that you have control over, then you can make it happen.

You can't wish your parents rich, but you can get the right kind of education and skills so that you can make yourself rich. You'll have to work at it.