My husband left me and the kids.

[dainerra]

I have never heard of Legal Aid being denied because your soon to be-ex making too much money? That doesn't even make sense. He's not going to be paying for your lawyer lol

 

[GhostRider65]

Yah that sounds kinda fishy to me.......... too
I would ask them why on earth they think your soon to be x is gonna pay for anything let alone a divorce.... geeeeeeeeeee the system is so screwed up, and so god awful crooked these, In reality it really doesn't surprise me. Too many good people can't get help when they need it, and some who abuse the system get so much help it makes common poor people crazy trying to get anywhere with them. Kim

 

[M.sue]

Quote:
X2....and being fully open & honest with your children is the best thing. They are young and will understand....what they don't understand they will come to realize in time for his actions won't change over night.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

M.sue :

Quote:
X2....and being fully open & honest with your children is the best thing. They are young and will understand....what they don't understand they will come to realize in time for his actions won't change over night.

It is one thing to be open and honest, but you need to be careful about talking badly about him. They will realize it in time, but don't do more than answer their questions or the things they need to know. Don't tell them "Daddy loves you"; that is HIS job. By the same token, do not say "Daddy doesn't love you enough to stay sober" or anything of the sort. They will figure that out on their own. You CAN say "I love you and will do everything I can to make a safe and loving home for us." You can say "Daddy has a problem with drinking alcohol--he cannot control what he does once he starts drinking" and answer questions about that.​

 

[Glenmar]

Quote:

 

[M.sue]

Quote:
X2....and being fully open & honest with your children is the best thing. They are young and will understand....what they don't understand they will come to realize in time for his actions won't change over night.

It is one thing to be open and honest, but you need to be careful about talking badly about him. They will realize it in time, but don't do more than answer their questions or the things they need to know. Don't tell them "Daddy loves you"; that is HIS job. By the same token, do not say "Daddy doesn't love you enough to stay sober" or anything of the sort. They will figure that out on their own. You CAN say "I love you and will do everything I can to make a safe and loving home for us." You can say "Daddy has a problem with drinking alcohol--he cannot control what he does once he starts drinking" and answer questions about that.

Yes...I totally agree....when children ask a question they don't want an in depth, excuse full, back lashing the bad guy explanation. They want a simple answer and want to be assured that someone will be there for them when in need.

 

[Ksane]

Let him go. And while you're at it stop in at some Al-Anon meetings.
Remember-no matter what he says, you can't lose a loser.

 

[Sharisr32]

You can file Pro Se = Divorce forms are free at your Court House - fill them out in the group will be a paper for a Poor Person designee to waive filling fees... You can take the first step to being on your own road to recovery --- go to family court file for full custody of your kids before he does and child support - if you rent call your landlord to begin a new lease in your own name --Rough on the kids to have him gone will be rougher if he bounces in and out --Good Luck -- prayer for Mercy The Disease brings out the idiot it didn't make him an idiot ==

 

[CrazyFowlFreak]

He called yesterday and wanted to talk. Which turned into him goading me and yelling, to which I told him to settle or I'd hang up. He wanted to see the kids and I agreed. He met me at the school, where he picked them up and I followed him to the restaurant and then went next door to another place to eat. He had them 45 minutes of the 1.5 hours I said he could have them and brought them back and wanted to talk again.

We loaded them in my car, turned on the radio and had a cig(yes, I know, I'll quit) and he basically wanted to be a $hitbird and give me a hard time about doing so well and being able to do some things I couldn't do when he was around. (I have Lupus and RA) I told him that I had no choice but to do it all now. He ended up yelling again, I threatened to leave, he calmed down. But he actually thought that he'd go away for a few weeks and I'd get scared and realize how much I needed him and beg him to come home. I told him that he's said and done things that he can't take back and that we cannot fix, that it was over and we were getting a divorce. He was not happy with that. Too flipping bad, pal!

Got the kids home and they told me that all he did was grill them about me and what I've said to them. I haven't said a single thing negative about him and don't plan on it, in front of the kids

They also said he was falling asleep while talking to them. Then my 10 year old, who knows that DH's sister has a prescription drug problem, hinted that he was acting like his sister, falling alseep in the middle of a conversation, etc. I know he had a prescription for Xanax for anxiety and I know that before I met him he used to use pills. So I'm guessing he took the Xanax (too many) so he could see me without freaking out.

Too bad he did, because I'll be letting my lawyer know what happened. My poor kids. But honestly, they have been troopers, yes they miss him, but they are not dumb and see what's going on without me ever saying a word. We are so much better off this way.
Thank you all for the continued words of encouragement, they really help me get through my days.

 

[stoopid]

Sounds like you handled yourself quite well.
Strength, and power to you!