My husband left me and the kids.

CrazyFowlFreak

Pine Hill Farm
11 Years
Apr 24, 2009
1,304
28
214
WV
He's been battling alcoholism for years, trying to quit, etc, but it never stuck for very long. Now he says it's me that the problem. Says I complain about his drinking so much that he needs to drink to live with me. I told him I wouldn't be married to a falling down drunk that does the three p's anymore. So, he called from work on Friday and said he wasn't coming home. This is after, two weeks ago, he never came home and me, the kids, and his mom drove all night looking for him in a ditch somewhere and he had ended up stopping at a bar and getting so drunk he was drunk at noon the next day when we found him. Nice. He took off once before three years ago, same thing, alcohol. Said tonight when he came to pick up some stuff that I forced him to come home three years ago and he's been pretending to love me still all this time but he didn't. I will get over this, I still love him and I know it's the disease talking, but my poor babies. They're only 8 and 10. They want to know where Daddy is and why he won't come home. I told the 10 year old what was going on and she said she kind of had figured it out. But the 8 year old is too young, I think to tell the truth to yet. I cannot believe he didn't call us for three days. Actually, now that I've thought about it, I cannot love this man. I cannot love anyone who does this to his partner and kids.
 
Well, here I am out the other side of this mess! My kiddos have never been happier and life is really beautiful. The ex never got any better, in fact, he got worse. Lots of horrible stuff went down and now he has to have state supervised visitations for two hours on every Sunday. I got nothing in the divorce, he didn't pay for a thing, but I got away from him so I'm okay with that. We had a lot of debt and he got that and I got none of it, so all in all it works. He stopped paying bills and the car we had got taken, one of the houses we had got taken, he broke into the house I was living in and cleaned it out. All I have left is our clothes and some sentimental things and some furniture. He took all the tools, and anything that was worth money.

But! Here it is over a year later and during that time I met the most wonderful man. I have never felt this way about someone before, I've never loved someone so simply and purely and had no fears. With the ex, it felt like he was always going to leave or do something to jeopardize what we had. That I had to be on my best behavior at all times or he'd fly off the handle and always felt that the drinking was my fault. But with this man I know 100% that he loves me and will forever, he is amazing. I adore him and so do my kids. I didn't think I could be so happy.

Out of heartbreak comes beauty and a new life. <3
 
I think peace of mind is worth all the money in the world. What goes around comes around and those who lie, cheat and steal, and pick on defenseless women and children will get what they deserve.

I'm glad you're doing well. You should be real proud of yourself when you said "enough"!
 
Do NOT let him continue to blame YOU and the children
for the problems he has. Been there, done that. Do
something for the children and you. Try and succeed to
get on with your life. How much harder could it be?
 
I can't begin to imagine the feelings your going through right now
hugs.gif
 
Oh dear, I'm sorry for the pain you are going through on so many levels. Prayers for all involved. If you need to talk, I'm a good listener. Hugs.
 
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My Dad did the same thing to my Mom, me and my sisters several times. Same thing: alcoholic. Finally one day after he took his whole paycheck and gambled/drank it away and didn't come home for three days, he called. My Mom told him not to bother coming home and that he'd better not try it either. I *kinda* get where you're at with this, and I couldn't be sorrier for the situation and what it does to the kids. I was only 2 1/2 when my Dad left and didn't come back.

Sometimes you have to say enough is enough. You'll feel guilty, you'll second guess yourself, and it will be hard on the kids. But when it comes to children living with an alcoholic that is as severe as you describe all the negative of having him gone will probably outweight the positives of having him home. Then again, if he does come back there is always hope that you might, eventually get through to him. I will be praying for you and your kids.
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