My husband left me and the kids.

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to you and the kids!
 
I haven't read this entire thread but wanted to give you some virtual hugs.
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Also if your attorney has not already done so you should amend your answer or complaint (depending on who is the plaintiff/defendant) to sue him for your attorney fees. It does not matter that your parents have given you the money. He is at fault according to everything you have posted. He should have to pay for your attorney. Also he is responsible for you and your financial well being. According to WV law most assets are split 50/50 but he can be ordered to pay for schooling if it will help to better your financial situation. I know you have some health problems but if you can be retrained in areas that you can function in he can be ordered to pay for it.
 
He will be paying for the lawyer fees, for sure and will be paying spousal support so I can get some training to get a decent job. If the judge okays it all, of course.
 
I just stumbled across this thread and read all of the posts. We haven't heard from you in quite some time. How are things going?
I hope this post finds you and your family doing well.

Have a Happy Easter !!!
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To The OP I am in the same boat the only difference is I have no kids with him and we are not married. I grew up in a house with alcoholics, both my parents drank and my father was abusive in more ways than 1 to not only my mom but to me for standing up for my mom when he hit her. I begged her for years to get him out of the house and she finally did but she didn't stop drinking right away and I ended up raising my sisters at the age of 11 until I was 15, She sobered up and remarried then kicked me to the curb. The cycle continued when I met my current bf. I have been with him for 17 years, will be 18 in june. He is a severe alcoholic. I have tried to change him for years and I have recently come to the grim realization that you can't change them. They like to pass the blame onto someone else just as your hubby did to you and my bf does to me. It's my fault we are loosing our house, it's my fault I am so depressed I drive him to drink, it's my fault I can't seem to find a decent job paying more than minimum wage ect ect ect. They live their lives in denial and we suffer for it. Your 8 year old knows alot more than you think they do about the situation, I know I did at that age. Yes divorce is hard on kids but its even harder on them to watch you endure the abuse from your husband because of his sickness. Now I didn't read the entire thread but I sure hope you don't take him back unless he proves to you he is getting help and wants to change. I wish you the best of luck in your journey
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My daughter was 9. After 11 years I made him leave. I felt such relief. My DD must have also felt relief. Not only that, her 9 years were spent not having an attentive mom because I was too busy being an enabler-sucked in by an alcholic.

My DD , every time she went somewhere with him, the first stop was the liquor store. She actually thought it was NORMAL. As she got older, she didn't tell me cause she didn't want me mad.

It's amazing when you discover ALL the things you did as an enabler, what a waste. My parents thought I was lying to cover for him. Then there was "I wouldn't drink if you were: a better housewife, better partner, prettier..." The list goes on.

All the times he said he'd quit, all the AA meetings, etc. I know one thing; If they don't start talking about GOD and AA, they are not serious. My sister is 50, and an alcholic, and has been hospitalized many times for malnutrition or alchohol poisoning. She actually developed brain damage from the hospital treating her (her fault) and still drinks alot. Now she can't work because of the brain damage, and has managed to get Social Security checks now.

Not all of it was bad. He was great when he wasn't drinking. But after 11 years of me mentally maturing and him not, I began to see what was happening. And didn't want my DD growing up thinking that this was acceptable as a relationship.

I could go on , but I won't now. I've heard all the excuses he had, and found, too, that they ALL have the same excuses. He died at the age of 53-no liver, esophogeal bleeding, and seizures.
 
Well, here I am out the other side of this mess! My kiddos have never been happier and life is really beautiful. The ex never got any better, in fact, he got worse. Lots of horrible stuff went down and now he has to have state supervised visitations for two hours on every Sunday. I got nothing in the divorce, he didn't pay for a thing, but I got away from him so I'm okay with that. We had a lot of debt and he got that and I got none of it, so all in all it works. He stopped paying bills and the car we had got taken, one of the houses we had got taken, he broke into the house I was living in and cleaned it out. All I have left is our clothes and some sentimental things and some furniture. He took all the tools, and anything that was worth money.

But! Here it is over a year later and during that time I met the most wonderful man. I have never felt this way about someone before, I've never loved someone so simply and purely and had no fears. With the ex, it felt like he was always going to leave or do something to jeopardize what we had. That I had to be on my best behavior at all times or he'd fly off the handle and always felt that the drinking was my fault. But with this man I know 100% that he loves me and will forever, he is amazing. I adore him and so do my kids. I didn't think I could be so happy.

Out of heartbreak comes beauty and a new life. <3
 

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