my life is gone to hell in handbasket

[johnnyjack]

i dont know alot about this sort of thing but i wanted to let you know i will be praying for you ur dd and ur family. remember this((( through god all things are possible.)))be strong and may god bless you and ur family.
Footprints in the Sand


One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson

 

[SpottedCrow]

believes she simply needs the "demon" driven out by his "church elders"

This is the thing that set my teeth on edge!!!
THAT would do more harm than good...that's also a bury your head in the sand thing for him to have said...no offense.

Your daughter is EXACTLY where she needs to be to get herself straightened out. They'll give her counselling and meds if she needs them...

I was put into a psych place when I was only like8 or 10..I don't remember. I had explosive rage and trust issues...I even broke the window in the quiet room...
After I had my son I was finally, thankfully, diagnosed with Clinical Depression. I'm on meds and will be for the rest of my life and dammit they work.

The whole family will need counselling. I was the only nut who needed help, but that's a whole 'nother story.

At 13 puberty is starting and with all the hormones their whole bodies get out of whack.

Hugs and prayers for you and your family.​

 

[MTtroutwithwings]

Purplebaby....this might not be comfortable to read and I'm taking a risk saying this but here are 3 thing to consider.....
1) take a leave of absence from your job....
2) reassign all your other responsibilities temporarily to other family members.
3) bring your daughter home and spend time with her uninterrupted.

Thoughts...suicidal tendencies are a cry for help and/or attention.
Your daughter at 13 is probably in a fragile time of her life (the change?) with hormone fluctuations she may be experiencing may go beyond her ability to understand whats happening to her thought processors. Your experience with emotionally disturbed teens now needs to be focused on your daughter. She want to come home because she needs you, her mother (not some textbook psychologist), but probably doesn't know how to ask for fear of overloading you or becoming a burden.

Signed,
Been there.

 

[fallenweeble]

purpleb,
first of all, i know it doesn't seem like it in any way shape or form right now but things are going to be just fine. they really are.
like spotted crow, i too went through this very same thing when i was 13 years old. i spent over a year in a psychiatric facility for kids. it sounds horrible, but, honestly it was a positive experience overall. the people who are caring for your daughter have received extensive training and they know what they are doing.
the next few years will probably be rough. there will be plenty of ups and downs. you and your daughter will survive it - have faith - it's true.
frequently children who have issues with depression etc. grow into very creative, expressive and fabulous adults! that's the other side of this particular coin and keep it in mind during the hard times.
i, for instance, am now in my 30s and i've turned out pretty well i think. i'm an artist, i am in a loving, stable relationship, i'm a graduate student and i do tons of volunteer work. overall - not a bad egg!
i'm willing to bet that your daughter will also grow into "herself" over time and bloom into a human being that will amaze you.
being a kid is hard. being a sensitive kid with depression is even harder. being a mom to a sensitive kid suffering from depression is probably even harder than that. but there IS light at the end of this tunnel. there really is.
take care of yourself and hold tight to a future time that will be much brighter than this.
f. weeble

 

[newchickowner]

There is lots of great advise said already. I for one can't really add anything because I haven't lived this. But I wanted to add my support and love and to let you know you and your family are in my family's prayers!

Reading some of the posts of the one's who did live this very same thing should reassure you that you are doing the right thing, and to focus on improving your own personal strength and the strength of the family members at home enduring this. Your 13 year old unfortunately doens't understand why she feels this way, or why this is happening to her. After reading the other posts, that seems to be the norm because of the adolescent mind. But she will grow up with an understanding from the professionals what's going on inside her and will know what to do to help herself. I feel that she will be closer to you in the long run and your relationship with her will be strong as she grows and realizes you did what you had to for her well being.

Again, you're in my prayers!

 

[jab91864]

You have my sympathy for the trials your family is experiencing at this time.

Prayers being sent your way !!!!!

Julie

 

[chickflick]

So sorry for your troubles. Your daughter is getting the help she needs. Be strong and believe in her. She needs you to be strong for her. You will be in my prayers.

 

[purplebaby]

thank you all for the wonderful help and personal stories. they mean so much to me for you to share them. thank u for the prayers and support.
i have considered taking a leave of absence but as i carry the insurance and the majority of the income right now it is not possible. my dh also worked where i do, but no longer does and sells real estate in a bad market! he has been a great help. all of our savings went to fight my ex-husband when he tried to take custody last yr and stopped paying the measly child support he pays. the dr.'s and i all believe alot of the depression is from all we have been through in the last 2 yrs. with him and all of the emotional abuse previously endured by me and my daughters.
i went to see her today (which was very hard) but the nurse told me that they are considering a bipolar diagnosis for her. that would fit what i believe also. we shall see.


her bio father has huge issues of his own and has recently "found god" ( i did not know god was lost!) he denies any responsibility in this and really wants an excorcism which just scares and angers me. today the football game was more important than visiting her, typical since the day she was born he went to jets game immediately after. never one for responsibility. i guess thats why exes are exes.......

 

[WriterofWords]

I read most of the posts and tried to see if I would be repeating what anyone else said and I'm hoping I'm not but if I am I apologize.
I've worked with youth for a very long time and one thing I advocate for is finding the root of the problem.
Too many doctors and psychiatrists try and treat the issue of suicidal tendencies without looking at what might be causing the tendency itself.
There has to be something in her background that she may or may not have told you about. It might have been something slight that seemed insignificant at the time but was more serious than she let on.
Try and find out what is causing her feelings, until you do they can't be "fixed".
To use an easy visual example I'll demonstrate with this:
The levy broke in Fernely NV after a small animal burrowed into it. It started out small but with the growing pressure of the water it grew until the dam burst.
It sounds as if her "dam" has had all it can take and the little animal doing the damage has to be caught and dealt with.
If that seems an odd example to you I'm sorry, but it did work with a parent I had a meeting with yesterday and she understood what I was trying to say. Good luck to you and let us know how it goes.
Take care of yourself first, because if you aren't up to it, you can't help her.
Kate

 

[seminolewind]

Hi, I hope they start your DD on antidepressants while she is there and keep her till there's improvement. I'm sorry its happening to you and your DD.
I'm glad you're sharing this here, it's important to have people to listen to you, and vent to.
"Bipolar" is the new diagnosis label, the MD's seem to want to dx alot of people with that. I was dx'd with bipolar 7 years ago, and for the first 5 years I was on meds that actually were working against my antidepressant to prevent a manic episode. I don't have mania and never did. Finally 2 years ago, I found a shrink who took the six meds I was on, and reduced it to 2, and I have been good for the last 2 years. Good luck