My Thanksgiving story and why I need to talk to Santa

[Ninjasquirrel]

Hmmmmm......

Requiring hugs in order to get a "prize" seems so wrong to me.

I personally would not treat him any different just because he did not give a hug.
Maybe he was having a bad day...
Maybe he needed a nap...
Maybe we should not read to much into it all.

I always hated being forced to hug relatives or others at gatherings. I have never been a "hugger". It didn't make me less of a person or an unkind person.....it just meant I don't like hugs.


Perhaps a better way to be "connected" to the young man is to participate one on one in a game or project like Legos or something he likes to do. It gives a lot of gentle teaching moments that don't feel like "teaching him a life lesson".

Its not that I require hugs to get a prize. I simply didnt ask what he wanted for christmas because he didnt hug me. You should respect your elders. I would have taken a hand shake or a goodbye. He just kept playing his xbox. Didnt even pause it.

 

[ShrekDawg]

Hmmmmm......

Requiring hugs in order to get a "prize" seems so wrong to me.

I personally would not treat him any different just because he did not give a hug.
Maybe he was having a bad day...
Maybe he needed a nap...
Maybe we should not read to much into it all.

I always hated being forced to hug relatives or others at gatherings. I have never been a "hugger". It didn't make me less of a person or an unkind person.....it just meant I don't like hugs.


Perhaps a better way to be "connected" to the young man is to participate one on one in a game or project like Legos or something he likes to do. It gives a lot of gentle teaching moments that don't feel like "teaching him a life lesson".

I agree and you said it much better than I could have! I hardly think not hugging is a reason for coal. Although his comments were a little rude but then again so was telling he’s not going to get anything just because he didn’t want to hug... personally, I think kids deserve respect too and if we’re going to ask for it, they should get it too. And Thanksgiving is a lot for kids. He was probably way tired and overwhelmed and/or hates hugs and didn’t know how else to express himself.

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

How old is this young one?

Age has a lot of impact on how it is handled I think.

He's 9 I think. Might be 10 now though. They grow up so fast.

 

[ShrekDawg]

He's 9 I think. Might be 10 now though. They grow up so fast.

Okay so he’s not tiny then... he definitely should know better by now. Especially if he didn’t even pause the game.

I was gonna say if he was really little I wouldn’t think much of it and he was probably overtired but he should now better.

But I still think not asking him what he wanted just cause he didn’t hug you was a little unnecessary.

But he should have said bye at least.

 

[aart]

Obligatory hugs, and presents, can cause all kinds of problems.

 

[Wee Farmer Sarah]

I agree and you said it much better than I could have! I hardly think not hugging is a reason for coal. Although his comments were a little rude but then again so was telling he’s not going to get anything just because he didn’t want to hug... personally, I think kids deserve respect too and if we’re going to ask for it, they should get it too. And Thanksgiving is a lot for kids. He was probably way tired and overwhelmed and/or hates hugs and didn’t know how else to express himself.

Very nicely put!

 

[21hens-incharge]

He's 9 I think. Might be 10 now though. They grow up so fast.

That is a good age to do one on one projects that benefit others.
They don't need to be expensive or take a lot of time.
They increase the person's sense of self worth, confidence and empathy for others if done right.

If they have a pet maybe making a pet bed or toy for the pet is a place to start.

Maybe making fleece scarves to give to an eldercare home. Fleece in the clearance bins at Joanns is really really cheap and certainly big enough to make scarves.
Have him participate in the shopping, making and giving. Every part teaches.

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

I agree and you said it much better than I could have! I hardly think not hugging is a reason for coal. Although his comments were a little rude but then again so was telling he’s not going to get anything just because he didn’t want to hug... personally, I think kids deserve respect too and if we’re going to ask for it, they should get it too. And Thanksgiving is a lot for kids. He was probably way tired and overwhelmed and/or hates hugs and didn’t know how else to express himself.

I think children need to earn respect. What have they done with their lives that makes them so important? Dont get me wrong, I love my nephews and niece. I just think it's important to that kids know that there is value in wisdom. I was never spoiled as a child and lived off of mostly hand-me-downs and I never complained. Sure, I had my moments of brattiness but I would never have been rude like that to an elder.

 

[ShrekDawg]

Very nicely put!

Thank you!

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

That is a good age to do one on one projects that benefit others.
They don't need to be expensive or take a lot of time.
They increase the person's sense of self worth, confidence and empathy for others if done right.

If they have a pet maybe making a pet bed or toy for the pet is a place to start.

Maybe making fleece scarves to give to an eldercare home. Fleece in the clearance bins at Joanns is really really cheap and certainly big enough to make scarves.
Have him participate in the shopping, making and giving. Every part teaches.

I dont get to spend much time with the boy other than family gatherings. His parents just drop him in front of the TV or the Xbox. My own father has complained to my brother that the child is becoming greatly disrespectful. I think the one on one time needs to come from his parents. I have also considered the option of making a charitable donation in his name to needy children rather than coal