My Thanksgiving story and why I need to talk to Santa

[Ninjasquirrel]

Christmas is coming up and I need to shop for gifts. I dont see my niece and nephews often but I like to get them something nice. But now...I really need to talk to Santa based on Thanksgiving.

So on Thanksgiving I went to my brother's house and we did a turkey boil. When I went to leave I went to say good bye to the little ones. I walked in the room where they were playing games and announced I was leaving and I would like hugs. My oldest brother's kids ran up and hugged me right away but my other brother's kid said "I already hugged you". I told him that I got one when I arrived but now I'm leaving so Id like another. He flat out said no to me. I then proceeded to ask the ones that hugged me what they wanted for christmas and began to leave the room before my despondent nephew shouted "what about me?!" I said "well you didnt hug me so why should I get you a present?" Instead of giving his aunt a big ol hug he said "well my mom is gonna be mad at you if you dont get me anything. Shes going to hate you."

I could not believe that this adorable little boy I held as an infant has become such a spoiled brat!!!! So...I have a plan. I plan to tell him I spoke to Santa and he told me to get him this gift. Then give him gift wrapped coal. There will be a real gift of course but this kid needs a serious visit from Krampus. I also plan on getting permission from his parents before I would do this. He needs to learn some respect.

 

[21hens-incharge]

Hmmmmm......

Requiring hugs in order to get a "prize" seems so wrong to me.

I personally would not treat him any different just because he did not give a hug.
Maybe he was having a bad day...
Maybe he needed a nap...
Maybe we should not read to much into it all.

I always hated being forced to hug relatives or others at gatherings. I have never been a "hugger". It didn't make me less of a person or an unkind person.....it just meant I don't like hugs.


Perhaps a better way to be "connected" to the young man is to participate one on one in a game or project like Legos or something he likes to do. It gives a lot of gentle teaching moments that don't feel like "teaching him a life lesson".

 

[SueT]

give him socks and underwear, or a book on self improvement

 

[aart]

Maybe it's just me because I don't like shopping, but I think the whole gift giving thing is overrated.

Instead of a material present, why not give the whole family something special to remember? Like sharing time at a local event, ice skating, a play, a concert, or cook a special family dinner for everyone. Or have the kids come over to make crafty gifts or bake & decorate cookies. Maybe you have hobbies that the kids could learn like photography, and you could enjoy them together.

When I was a kid, I'm sure I got my share of gifts but what I remember most clearly are the special family holiday times when we did things together.

 

[SueT]

Here's a book suggestion for age 9

 

[21hens-incharge]

How old is this young one?

Age has a lot of impact on how it is handled I think.

 

[aart]

Way to go aart, you made me get teary eyed. What a beautiful post!

Well, I did copy it from the internet.....but holiday consumerism is terrible, IMO.
It has warped us all, some more than others.

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

Sorry, but it seems like there's some deeper issue here. Try speaking to his mother about what happened. Children will act out around someone who they feel is a safe person who won't harm them. Sounds like this little one needs some extra love. Good luck.

I told his parents about this. His dad laughed and his mother was shocked and angry. He's becoming a little brat. Ive watched him tell his parents no often. It seems to me that they have not taught him to respect his elders...including them. I know its not my place to discipline or teach their child but I think something like this might get him to think about how he treats people. I dont want him to be a little sociopath

 

[ShrekDawg]

Hmmmmm......

Requiring hugs in order to get a "prize" seems so wrong to me.

I personally would not treat him any different just because he did not give a hug.
Maybe he was having a bad day...
Maybe he needed a nap...
Maybe we should not read to much into it all.

I always hated being forced to hug relatives or others at gatherings. I have never been a "hugger". It didn't make me less of a person or an unkind person.....it just meant I don't like hugs.


Perhaps a better way to be "connected" to the young man is to participate one on one in a game or project like Legos or something he likes to do. It gives a lot of gentle teaching moments that don't feel like "teaching him a life lesson".

I agree and you said it much better than I could have! I hardly think not hugging is a reason for coal. Although his comments were a little rude but then again so was telling he’s not going to get anything just because he didn’t want to hug... personally, I think kids deserve respect too and if we’re going to ask for it, they should get it too. And Thanksgiving is a lot for kids. He was probably way tired and overwhelmed and/or hates hugs and didn’t know how else to express himself.

 

[aart]

Obligatory hugs, and presents, can cause all kinds of problems.