Thank you for the luck! I will need it. I'm not in this because of food quality or family, it is vastly moral. I am trying to look at it as, it isn't as if I've never had someone else kill a chicken for me before. As long as I am eating chickens, I am killing chickens. I have just had the privilege of not seeing it in action until now. It becomes a matter of looking at how those chickens lived instead. Factory farming is disgusting, chickens are viewed poorly and treated even worse. Chickens aren't just my favorite food but my favorite animal and there are many chickens I hold very, very dearly as living things so that is an injustice I want to see stricken down within my life time. I'm not going to ignore the fact that factory farmed chicken, as the world is right now, is a cheap and necessary protein. I'm not going to be classist and condemn people for eating it because it is what they can afford... I just mean no one should be happy with factory farming as it is, everyone should want it to change for the better. I want to be part of the solution by educating, and supporting home production. I believe any food someone can reasonably produce at home, they should. It is better for the animals and the environment. I just gotta practice what I preach. That and I honestly think a lot of people who already practice home meat production specifically could do to be more humane about it, because not being factory farming on its own isn't enough. I have to set an example rather than just say that.
Just EEGGGHH... knowing they'll be scared.. and I'll have these birds for 18 - 20 weeks looking after them, knowing them, being as good as I can be to them.. it is like my fear of needles. It is less about the actual puncture and more about knowing there's hurt on the horizon. Once it's happening, I'll grit my teeth and muscle through. Not to mention I don't ever actually want it to become easier. I'm afraid of becoming someone who's numb to just how supreme an important but unconsenting sacrifice these birds are making for us to have a sustenance. I believe remaining at least some kind of tender to the process is part of it being humane.