Need some personal help here...

[Bec]

..

 

[Oblio13]

Grab your husband and your mother by the hair. Crack their heads together like coconuts. Then bang your own head on a wall. Hard. Behave like adults. Repeat as necessary.

 

[FutureChickenMan]

Quote:
Ok, here's the deal from my experience... Father in law called, spoke to the Mrs. He wanted to borrow $10,000 to buy a house. The Mrs asked me about it and I said no; reasons: 1. it would totally wipe out our savings account. 2. He's never lifted a finger ever to help us. 3. No collateral. 4. No contract. Well, she decided it was her daddy and it was ok to loan the money to him anyway.

BIG BIG mistake. Men absolutely do not like having their decisions over-turned. Secondly, if a guy's wife chooses someone else over him he feels betrayed. It's one of those things, if she's not choosing me, I'm not #1 in her life and that's a serious problem.

I was mad at her for months. Even after we got our money back I was still mad. Heck even to this day I'm still angry about it and this all happened two years ago. The Mrs gets it now after many hours of talking and working things out, but believe me, never ever ever pick someone else over your spouse. Not even your kids!

 

[momma's chickens]

I am just going to say I hope you and your dh can work this out. I also have to say dh has to come first. I am learning this too.

Also after reading your signature line, I believe that you must really love him and care about him so take him to dinner or plan a special dinner without the kids and try to have an open discussion about it. If he won' t talk then try to show him you love him and wait until he is able to discuss this. My dh has a horrible time putting his feelings into words.

 

[TT]

I'm sorry you have this going on.

When we get married we are supposed to leave our family and cleave to our husbands. Our husbands should then come first. You and your husband need to sit down and calmly talk about this and why he feels the way he does. My husband has always worked shift work and I have gone to a lot of things without him, but that is our situation.

One thing I was told a long time ago that I try to remember on the rare occassions when hubby and I disagree: Don't tell everything to your family because while you calm down, forgive him and get over it they may not and may hold a grudge. Mostly because you are their "little girl".

Just my thoughts, hope it all works out well for you.

 

[Chellester]

I do agree that once a person gets married; they should cleave to their spouse. None of this woman needs to do all the cleaving; each spouse should cleave to each other and put the marriage above all else. A woman can cleave to a man all she wants; that isn't going to make him a great guy if he's a selfish jerk, and visa versa. The point I'm trying to make here is that it takes two, and both have to put the marriage first if it's going to work.

 

[Oblio13]

Quote:
Would you post some pictures of cleavage?


:|


(I crack myself up.)

 

[Chellester]

Quote:
Would you post some pictures of cleavage?


:|


(I crack myself up.)

I'm glad you do. Just don't quit your day job, kay?

 

[TT]

Quote:
I agree and should actually have worded my post to say spouse instead of husband. Thanks!

 

[Rosalind]

It sounds like hubby has some other issue going on. I don't know what, but he will have to make up his mind to tell you what's bugging him or not. And I would devoutly hope that he knows that sulking at you and crying in his pillow is not really a successful marriage tactic, but maybe he needs a gentle reminder that you love him very much and are trying to be understanding. You're his friend, not his mom, and he's not a child.

From what you've posted, I do not honestly think that he is seriously angry about a 5 year old discussion that was so trivial you don't recall it, or really and truly upset that you would want to go to your brother's wedding in your parents' company. I mean, it's not like you are running off to meet Brad Pitt and Robert Downey Jr. for cocktails in Key West. You are not running away to join the roller derby, right? You're not signing up for a mysterious cult that worships sunny beaches and lime trees, are you? You're not even doing anything that he might fret slightly about, such as traveling alone or spending a bunch of his money, since Mom and Dad are paying. Grown adults, even married ones, occasionally spend time apart for more than 20 minutes without getting divorced. Honestly. Only he knows for sure, but I would bet there is some other motive going on. Because this is not the want or demand of someone who doesn't have a grudge or an ulterior motive.