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Need some personal help here...

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You erred in talking to your mom and making your husband the bad guy. Your husband may disapprove of a "destination" wedding, particularly considering that the previous Las Vegas wedding was not attended by either one of you. He may be keeping the peace by not talking about it. Sometimes when you are really angry, waiting is the best option. You might make things worse by pushing him to talk before he is ready. Sometimes people bite their tongues to keep from saying things they would later regret. From my perspective your story goes something like this: You and hubby agree to not attend the wedding, you send your regrets to your brother, bro complains to mom, mom complains to you, you complain to mom and you crumple like a wet tissue, after having made a decission with your husband.

Your mom is also putting you in a bad position. Good parents and in-laws do make their children decide between "family" and partner. All this does is build resentment with people you intend to be related to for the rest of your lives.

Weddings make people crazy. Maybe if you cannot attend the wedding you can plan a special visit with your family and your brother's new wife. Something where you, your husband and your kids have special time with your brother and his bride. Make a wedding gift of an invitation to something you can do together.
 
You need to go to couples counseling RIGHT NOW!!!

NO ONE in this forum is qualified to do marriage counseling.

Even if only one of you go to counselling it will help.
Suck it up, realize there is a problem and WORK to get it fixed. NOW...the longer you wait the worse it will be!!!!

You both have issues that don't seem to be working out on their own YOU NEED PROFESSIONAL ASSISTANCE.

Anybody that thinks being married is all rainbows, lollypops, and butterly kisses is just fooling themselves. It takes WORK! You need each other first. Screw the rest of the planet. Get your house in order and everything else will fall into place.
Good Luck
 
Sounds like my late husband. Poor baby. He needs to stay home with the 2 kids, and let you go to the wedding.

My husband was like this about my H.S. reunion (1000 miles away). He absolutely did not want to go, but didn't want me to go either. I went anyway and had a great time. He got over it eventually (I think). And if he didn't? Too bad.
 
Well I know you said you were done posting but the only advice I would have is

1) Have a yard sale and sell everything not nailed down.

2) Thank your mom for the ticket tell her you accept

3) With yard sale money buy your hubby a ticket

4) Leave the sister in law with the kids

5) Take you hubby screaming and kicking to the wedding

6) Enjoy the wedding

7) After the wedding treat that hubby to a second hunnymoon he will never forget

8) Go home and forget the before just remember the hunnymoon

9) Don't share with your family if comes back to haunt you
 
I knw I said I wasn;t going to comment anymore, but things are good now....problem solved, we talked...everything is clearly understood, on both sides.


Thanks


My mom is a great woman, my husband is a great man..together they make me me....


Please no more mom bashing, hubby bashing or Me bashing....
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I am thrilled you talked to your husband.

You really do owe the members that came to your cry for help the answer. Are you and hubby attending the wedding?

Unfortunately when you bring a topic to a Public forum unless it is locked. It is up for grabs so to speak.
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Seriously congrats on everything working out. Always give your loved one the benefit and respect of keeping matters in house. That includes your immediate family and of course all the millions who can and will eventually read all about it on the internet. Some may even connect the dots.

Dilly
 

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