I'm so sorry to hear you are suffering this!
I am concerned about the knowledge of your health care professional on the matter. There is no one muscle that "grinds" your food. There is a series of muscles in the stomach and intestines that act to reduce and move food. Also Gastroparesis is not limited to women. My husband was diagnosed with Gastroparesis a few years ago, though his case is not as severe as yours. If I remember correctly, he was at 52%. I have done a great deal of research on the subject, including in medical journals and I used to follow the studies. I am not a medical professional, so I encourage you to research anything I have to say.
In many cases that include diabetes, it is the diabetes that has damaged the vagus nerve and that is the cause of the Gastroparesis. This can result in severely delayed gastric emptying due to the muscles not contracting properly and the constriction of transition points such as the pylorus.
Reglan was the primary medication used to treat Gastroparesis, but it is not the only one. Erythromycin is an antibiotic, but also has been found to increase stomach contractions to move food through in some cases. It also has the added benefit of reducing the risk of bacterial infection associated with the condition. I don't know if it has been approved in the US yet, but Domperidone was being reviewed by the FDA some time ago. It is used in other countries as an effective Gastroparesis treatment, particularly in cases that include Diabetes.
For many, dietary changes are sufficient, including many very small meals throughout the day that are easily digestible. Liquid supplements and pureed food are recommended. You get the same nutrients form food whether it is solid or pureed, so if you are already on a diet adjusted for diabetes, you may be able to stick with it if the items can be effectively pureed. I personally would look into FRS, which is a health drink that was originally designed for cancer patients suffering the effects of chemotherapy. It also helps give some boost to energy. I have a condition that causes me to be sensitive to some foods (causes bowel troubles) and causes extreme fatigue. My current doctor thinks it is Fibromyalgia and I take FRS and have found it easy on the gut and a good gentle boost to my energy that lasts about half the day.
In cases that include constriction of the pylorus, Botox has been found to be an effective treatment encouraging it to relax and allow better movement of food. In some cases, a gastroenterostomy is effective and might be worth looking into. When none of these options work, there is still the option of a feeding tube or even parenteral nutrition (nutrients introduced directly into the blood stream). I know those aren't exactly ideal solutions when you want to feel normal, but it may improve how you feel and improve your strength. Also, if you are still having a lot of problem with vomiting, there are a few places in the States that will do gastric electrical stimulation, which helps control nausea and vomiting in cases that can not be reduced with diet and medication.
I would encourage you to find liquid nutritional supplements and foods that you feel you can handle. Don't discount those designed for children such as Pediasure. When my mother had cancer and couldn't stomach much, she lived on baby food, though liquid supplements were not readily available back then. However, the nutrients in childrens' supplements may be easier to digest and absorb than in some adult supplements. My husband got so tired of the discomfort that he doesn't eat except one meal a day anymore and I don't think that is healthy, especially since he doesn't always eat a healthy meal. I try to encourage him to eat a little bit at a time throughout the day. He doesn't seem to have trouble with Nature Valley trail mix bars, so I buy big boxes of those from Sam's Club so he always has a small, healthy snack to munch at work. I am trying to find other small healthy snacks that he is willing to eat, but he is very picky.
If you want to research the condition more, I highly recommend starting at
www.MedlinePlus.gov which is information provided to the public by the National Institutes of Health and the National Library of Medicine. I hope this is helpful to you.