This is the lament of a Marek's bird owner. Every so often it comes to the fore and you wonder if you are doing the correct thing for your birds and secondly, yourself. This thread, as long and drawn out as it is, has been a place for others, as well as myself to talk and hold each other up through everything that goes along with being the keeper of these birds. Then there are the times when shoulders are needed, as sometimes it really does seem like it's just too much for one person to bear. When I started this thread, I was at that point. So much necessary culling and death because of this nasty little virus. All of us that face this, whether old hand on BYC or new, need places to vent and get their head straight. This is one.