not fair!!-just need to vent

[chickened]

I made it about a 1/3 of the way and felt a headache coming...sorry
Quote:

 

[PepsNick]

I am very sorry for what you are going through, but IMO you need to concentrate on the fact that your parents are being very generous to you by letting you live in their home at your age, and if your parents don't want you to have pets than it's their house, and their rules, which you are still controlled by since you live with them... Sorry, but you need to deal with it and not beg.

It is certainly fair. It's unfair to your parents that you are asking for more, although they could do some chores for themselves some.

Please try to get more education! It has always been such a priority for me, and I have been devoted to it, and that's why my grades have always been very high.


And on you sister's case, don't get involved to cause even more drama. Call animal control and let them handle it.

 

[Carols Clucks]

It sure sounds like you are dealing with a lot of things.

Since you were recently diagnosed, you might want to ask your local health department/social services to help you get in to a junior college and start getting prepared to be on your own. Not having an education or training will keep you from meeting your potential. Since you have computer access, there are even online classes and financial help for those.

Skip the bar tending classes, those are usually just ways bars make some extra $$. Skip the private health care worker classes unless they are free as well.

Remember your mom is probably trying to treat both of you equally, even if it does seem unfair.

The guppies might make you some extra cash, but they could also be a real liability should a tank leak, as a tenant-you would be liable for the damages that the 80 gallons of water can do. The landlord might really not understand raising quail indoors as well. Having both of those, could loose your family your housing. This might be a good time to see if you can find a farmer that will allow your animals on their land, you might be able to exchange rent for other animal care.

Good luck!

 

[Ema]

this a terrible situation to find yourself in, but I will tell you that at this point it might be easier if you just don't get any more pets. I know they give you reason and a good escape from all your troubles. On another note, find yourself a job that will pay you a bit more, even if its at a fast food restaurant, open up a bank account and save your money.

I definitely think its time for you to work towards moving out and putting some space between you and your sister for a little while at least. It should not be your job to parent that child, but your job to be a great aunt. your sister sounds very immature in my eyes and she needs to buck up and get her priorities in check, just like you need to get yours in check too.

working at a fast food restaurant or something similar may not be your ideal employment at this time but it will pay you a bit more than what you are making now and in the end will help you achieve your goal.

taking some nigh classes to upgrade your education will help too, I am sure there are some resources available to you.

Right now you are upset, just take a deep breath and tomorrow will be a brighter day. sounds to me like bf is a dirt bag, sorry if this bothers you, but its the truth, its time to get rid of the dead weight. you know getting a job will also help you make friends too. and it sounds to me like you are keeping him around out of necessity to have someone. and well he really isn't doing you any favours.

first order of business, do up your resume, or get help with that from some one, and then go apply where ever you can. there has to be a job somewhere.

Ema

 

[dewey]

No doubt you're in a tight spot and could use a hand up to expand your confidence, job skills, and potential future opportunites.

Have you checked out Teen Challenge (not just for teens) or the Peace Corps?

 

[Mattemma]

Just keep getting rid of the animals. Sister can keep her kitten in her room.Cats can survive in small places.

Living with family is often like living with roommates.You put up with things or move out if you can no longer tolerate the situation
Parents are so generous in letting kids live with them.It is just unfortunate that the adult kids do not save the money they would otherwise have to spend if they lived on their own.

Consider the amount you would need to pay if you had a one bedroom somewhere.Rent and utilies,gas/insurance,food.When my brother lived with my mom(as an adult) it seemed like giving her money was always optional for him.It shouldn't be. Now if a parent says,"Pay nothing,but save so you can move out." then by all means do that.

I know the temptation to take in more animals. I am constantly looking on craigs,and wanting to take in many free animals.The cost of the care supplies AND watching animal hoarders keeps me from taking them in. I actually gave away some pets.I miss them.Sometimes rehoming is really the best option for you and the animals in question.

One or 2 pets should be enough companionship.No need to fill the house. It is hard to let go,but you will feel better if you lessen the chaos.

For jobs consider one of the many positions in a local nursing home.If there are medical reasons for you not to work then start the long process of medical disability.

 

[booker81]

I think it's time for a "reset". No one but yourself is keeping you where you are. Contact your Dept of Human Services or whatever it's called through your state, and start working to going to junior college, and a job and your own place. You'll have to get rid of the pets, all of them. It's not fair to care for an animal if you can't stand on your own two feet, and there will always be more rescues and pets out there. Believe me, I know how hard it is - I had to give up my dog that stood by me for years, protected me, and loved me, because I was in a situation that I could barely care for myself, let alone her (messy divorce that ended up with having to move a couple times, too much stress, and the need to work three jobs to get by.) I still miss her years later, but I know she went to a great home (used a good foster rescue through a friend, who send me pics of the place they rehomed her).

No one says you can't have pets ever again if you choose to rehome them and work on your own self. I have a dog and 14 chickens now, will be getting a couple pigs, and probably will get some fish for DD to watch (I've had fish before). Right now is not a good time for extra responsibility for you, let alone the responsibility of your family to share a household with many other pets.

Your state DHS or junior college will have resources for mental health (I too was diagnosed atypical rapid cycling bipolar, which has settled into treatable depression - I come from a family of neurotics, so brain cooties are in my genes). You should also qualify for food aid and possibly housing assistance through the state. There are LOTS of loans and grants to attend school, and many colleges offer job programs to help land a job as well. Make the choice to use these and better yourself so you can provide the best care for your pets to come.

Once you are on your own two feet and supporting yourself, THEN is the time to consider taking other lives under YOUR roof - that is the time to have pets.

Pets aren't disposable, don't get me wrong. However, it comes a time when you need to weigh the responsibility of caring for another life when your own isn't exactly settled. Just like having kids, an ideal parent has their ducks in a row so they can have stability and routine in place to give a nurturing and safe life for a child, pet ownership should come with the mentality. If it's not a safe environment for a kid, it's not a good environment for a pet.

 

[Scoop]

Good golly girl! There is a whole world out there just waiting for you! You need to start living! I would suggest trying to find a job in a pet store of some type. Keep saving your money and get out of the mess your in! You can do it! Don't live in a house any more where dog crap goes unnoticed for 4 months! That's outrageous!

 

[ebwy2]

I'm in a blunt kind of mood, so don't read if you don't want my absolutely honest opinion.


yes, your sister is selfish and cruel to animals and her son.
report her for both. Leaving a child's playroom to be under a ton of animal poo is neglect.

be grateful your parents are letting you live there so cheaply.
get your money in the bank, then they have no idea how much you have so if you say you don't have it they won't know.

if your parents say "no pets" then it's no pets, or move out.
their house, their rules. if moving out isn't an option, then the pets have to go no matter how unfair it seems.

your "boyfriend" is using you. a man who refuses to be seen with you and who won't talk with you is not a boyfriend, it's a man who is using you for sexual gratification or other consideration. Dump him. (I checked this one, I live with 2 men who I asked for the male perspective and they both agree with me)

 

[MamaPeg]

I dug my way out of a similar hole when I was just about your age. It took me a few years, but after the initial difficulties, every day was a little easier. In four years, which flew by, I had a degree, a good job, and a whole new set of people in my life. I would definitely get an education. Right now you are an easy target for people who get satisfaction from pointing out the inadequacies of others. An education will make you less of a target for those people, and make you feel 100% better about yourself. You need to get out of the environment you're in. I also had a lot of pets I couldn't afford, because they filled a void. I parted with them, and it hurt, but I then filled that void with school, and new people, and new experiences. You're getting satisfaction from taking care of something, it makes you feel wanted and needed, and worthwhile. Maybe that's why you stay in the situation that you're in, because taking care of your nephew and your sister's animals, makes you feel necessary and capable. But you can get those same feelings in a healthier environment. Believe me, people have overcome far worse. You are doing a lot wrong, but you're not doing anything that can't be reversed and repaired. Call social services and see what's available. Speak to your doctor or counselor. I was amazed at the people who were willing to help me, once I was willing to be helped. I wish you the best of luck.