Oh Craigslist, You Amuse Me So!

[The Wolf Queen]

I posted an ad on CL for some mix breed & silkies chicks I have for sale. Some of the possible moms of the mixes are bantam: cochins, d uccles, & salmon faverolles (sp?). Heres one of the replies I got. Lets see if you can spot the problem. BTW I listed all the possible moms & dads in the ad. This idiot also thought I had large adult hens for sale. I SAID CHICKS.

"Hello,

We are looking for a couple of standard sized hens. We are specifically interested in picking from your cochins, salmonelles, australorps and partridge silkies. Would it be possible for us to come and take a look at what you have?

Thank you,
Debra"


Heres another reply. Sheesh I wish folks would read. I said MUTTS & SILKIES. I dunno what mutts may be good layers & she wants purebreds. Heck right now you really cant even tell whats mixed with what.

"Am interested in purchasing good egg-laying chickens, but have worked with Rhodes exclusively (their eggs R AWESOME). Am willing to branch out & try other breeds. Would need Ur advice re: the best layer breed(s) in Ur inventory. I take excellent care of my girls and they live an average of 3 yrs. I have 1 big, uber-cocky black rooster, so I need just hens. Please advise at the earliest conveneince. Thanks - Andrea @ 450-####."

 

[aprilfritts]

This one had me laughing OUT LOUD...

Free cow to good home. Brown/red white color. Good disposition, except around bees. Cow does not give milk. Unsure of sex, but has horns and either an udder or four penises. You haul.

 

[JulieNKC]

Quote:

 

[DuckyGurl]

 

[babymakes6]

Quote:

By the way: WELCOME TO BYC!

I think you'll fit in here!

 

[gamebirdboy]

This is pretty funny, I found it when I was looking for a fridge to turn into an incubator. Not sure i want to deal with this guy though...

So yeah, I bought this here Chest Freezer and hauled it all the way from Sevierville to my home in Vestal. Sure it was an older model, but I heard the compressor running when I plugged it in. I didn't mind that it had rusty spots inside, because it was clean, and would serve my purpose. I was super excited! I moved it with the help of one of my friends. It sure was heavy and cumbersome. After alot of pushing, shoving, huffing and puffing, we barely got it into my house. I plugged it in with giddy anticipation of having a cold chester freezer in the morning. When I woke up the next morning I sprang out of bed like a kid on Christmas. I rushed to my new freezer and opened it up. To my disappointment, it was warm inside. "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" I tearfully cried. "I heard the compressor running all night, how could this be!" After several minutes of standing there in slack jawed shock, I went through all of the stages of grief. First I was in denial. "I must have plugged it in wrong, maybe there's a secret switch." I thought. "I have to figure this out!" Next my thoughts turned to anger. "How could the lady who sold this to me do this!" and "She knew she was ripping me off!, how could she not know it didn't work" also "I work in a law firm, I'll show her if she doesn't refund my money! I'll gladly pay a filing fee of 3 times what I paid for this freezer to file a lawsuit in small claims court. I'm going to GET MY MONEY BACK, believe that!" After I calmed down a little I begged God. "Please God, please let this be a dream. This can't be real, it can't be. I really need this freezer!" and "I'll be good. I won't think of kicking puppies anymore. I'll help old ladies cross the road. Anything God, just make it work!" When that got me nowhere, I became deeply depressed. I was moping around at work all day. People would ask me questions and I would reply with a "meh" or a simple grunt. I was so upset I just wanted to sleep for days. I couldn't eat. I just felt like the world was complete crap, and that existence it's self was meaningless. I mean, really. If I could't trust a chest freezer that I bought off of Craigslist to work, than what was the point? Finally I just accepted it. I accepted all my travel, gas money and hard physical labor to get this freezer home just didn't work out. I felt my burden lift. There was nothing I could do but accept defeat, call the lady I bought it from and explain the situation. I did just that. I told her I'd return the freezer. She was so nice and understanding. She apologized more than necessary. She told me I didn't need to bring it back, but I could come get my $ and do whatever I wanted to with the non working freezer. I got my refund but that is not where this story ends. This is where YOU come in. The person who needs a gianormous storage container. I don't know what anyone could possibly use this for, so here are some suggestions I came up with: Fix it, Animal feed storage, grain storage, Scrap, tool chest, a cheap coffin, a resting place for your gimp, a toy box, a place for games of hide and go seek (I'd recommend drilling breathing holes in it 1st- and no matter what DO NOT LET YOU KIDS DO THIS!), a huge raised bed garden, a planter, use it to barricade a door, A soapbox to stand on downtown and yell your theorys, religious views or other ramblings to passersby, an art project, a large reptile enclosure, fill it full of ice and put kegs in it for a party, fill it full of water to make a mini-swimming pool, use it as a playpen, make it into a litter box, prank your friends, co-workers or relatives with it by leaving it for them to deal with, or simply use it as target practice. I'm sure this thing has thousands of other uses that I'm just not creative enough to come up with.
Ok, here's the deal. I went through alot of trouble and used alot of gas to pick this thing up. At this point, I'd like to get something for my troubles. That's why I'd like to trade it away instead of just giving it away. I will trade for almost anything. So come on Craiglist readers, get creative. What could you seriously offer me for this? I will take a day or 2 to consider all offers and will take the one that most appeals to me. Here are some ideas, but keep in mind, I will consider anything. Even down to the lint in your pockets. Suggestions:

A six pack of (good) beer, a Payton Manning trading card, an empty cd case, a mix cd of your favorite tunes, a brand new Thor Movie action figure (really want- yes I'm a nerd.) , comic books, a shiny rock, money in any denomination from any country, an autographed (insert celebrity or sports figure here) photo, a screwdriver, a bottle opener, a scratch off lottery ticket, a drawing your kid made, a drawing you made, a photograph, a coffee mug, a bottle of water, a burrito (vegetarian), a book of jokes, a handmade hat, an universal remote, a couch, a reclining chair, toys for my 7 year old son, Japanese trophy sword from WWII, Giftcards to various restaurants, sunglasses, wine, kitchen utensils, souveniers brought back from your vacations, doo dads, knick knacks, whosey-whatsits, The heartland series on dvd, shark teeth, gigantic rubber spider, tupperware, canned goods, bulk size toilet paper, a homemade pie, 22 caliber bullets, or just offer to wash my yucky dirty pick up truck.

Ok, I think you get point. So email me your offer and I will answer right way. All offers will be entertained (and hopefully entertaining as well). This being said, I have had a few offers. While I appreciate you offering to come do handyman work in the nude, or clean my house in the nude I'm going to pass on these types of offers.

MUST PICK UP I refuse to move this thing anymore. Ok, so I might help you load it, but after that, I'm done. I look forward to your emails.

IF I end up trading this for something super cool, or something I really want, I will write that person a long, descriptive and epic message about how AWESOME they are in Craigslist's "Missed connections" section.

YES, AD IS SERIOUS


Location: South Knoxville
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests​

 

[trilyn]

Quote:
Very tender hearted people here. I wish I could help them, but I just dried off all my "milking mice".

Omigod...I haven't laughed so hard...I can't believe this one! LOL

I especially loved the comment that I bolded above.

 

[Bessie1994Snider]

Quote:
Actually, I've seen people renting goats out for the same reason. I was actually tempted once as we have a huge field with long grass.. ROFL!!

Now 'borrowing', I don't know about.

If you want a "lawnmower", you don't want goats, you want sheep!! Goats get bored on pasture and start climbing fences, etc. You only want goats if you have brush... Trust me! We bought two goats to help clear the brush off our property and as soon as they were done with the brush, they started helping the neighbors clear their brush, too (and their rose bushes, and their vegetable garden, and their... )

Yeah the borrowing was just weird renting might be better lol!!!! And I wish I could have some sheep!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[The Wolf Queen]

http://albuquerque.craigslist.org/grd/2352794941.html

 

[Jferlisi]

Quote:
HAHAHA

I loved the revolution beat down part.