ok give me your opinion

[dewey]

I haven't heard any of these complaints from the new mom, the only one who has said anything is her mom.

Has her mom always behaved like this or is it something new? It was so good of you to help out the new mom.

 

[dewey]

I got a call this morning. Nephew and his wife had no problems. It was her mom that was upset. Apparently she had called her daughter and they fought a bit. Her mom was supposed to be there and never showed or answered her phone so they had to call us. She told her mom its fine because his family came up and were coming up tomorrow so everything was covered. Her daughter was a bit upset with her and so her mom called and took it out on us. They don't have the best relationship and her mom is resentful. She abandoned her and her grandparents raised her but she wants to make up for all that all now. Instead she apparently has disappeared since the babies were born after insisting none of us make plans to help them because she was going to be there. Anywho so new mommy was mad at her mom and her mom decided to take it out on someone who wasn't hanging up on her. What a mess.

I am still going to just focus on finishing up all the things I started. I think new mom has her hands full without extra family under foot right now. For now my SIL is up with them both and is calming everyone down. I am better off finishing off all the cleaning and laundry and getting their freezer meals ready. Once they are home the drama should have died down a bit and I can have nice visits. Poor gal has mom with a guilt complex, husband with mental and physical issues from the accident, and preemie twins. Now if that is not a load on someone I don't know what is.

I didn't read this until after my last post. It sounds like she really needs someone like you that's very stable in her life. You're doing a very good thing, and as much as possible I'd just consider the source of the drama and ignore the mentally unsound grandma.

 

[HeatherLynn]

My parents and my SIL went up with her today. She is doing good. Her mom has not always been this way. Normally she was just not present. She was thankful her parents took over with her own child because she wasn't ready to be a mom yet. This whole I want to make it up to you and be a mom thing started when her daughter was 30 and pregnant. So its still very new and she is very paranoid/guilt-ridden/jealous.

We have now washed everything in her house. Its time to finish up the cleaning and get all the beds made for helper/guests. My other nephew heard about it all and he volunteered to go stock up grocery shopping to get them taken care of for a while. Its even looking like there are some family volunteers for maid duty. I think her mom not showing up this whole past week with the babies has gotten people worried that we should have prepared no matter what anyone said. Her freaking out on people after not showing up also has us wondering how stable a helper she is. We have at least another week till they come home. Probably a bit more, so the family is making plans quickly. My nephew is no help at all with the babies. He can barely walk, he cannot lift more than 5 lbs, he is fighting a staph infection, and he has brain damage. I think a new mom with her husband unexpectadly in that shape and preemies is going to need stable helpers. Until the house is sanitized its just me there for now. My nephew developed a staph infection so everything in their house has to be sanitized to the extreme. I spent several hours opening doors so i could breathe through all the lysol and clorox. UGGG Yea her moms freak out I think has mobilized everyone to pitch in and help and the new mom seems thankful for all the help she can get.