Okay, quit hiding, any internet daters out there?

[skirbo]

Quote:
I'm working on it, really, but this year I have so much on my plate that the possibility of a relationship has to take a backseat to some other stuff.

Sarah

 

[ZooMummzy]

Quote:
HA! That's what I was thinking. My husband told me to try it and if I found somebody, to make sure he had lots of money so he could quit his job !! LOL!!! He's so stupid, that's probably how he's lived with me so long!

Hahahaha I like that idea a lot.

My husband has always told me if I ever found someone else, they would return me within a week! I'm too expensive and a pain in the you know what! In return, I tell him if he can afford another woman, go for it

 

[seismic wonder2]

I always thought only freaks and weirdos

hang out on the internet.....hey........wait a minute! what I meant was....
um.....nevermind.

 

[MayberrySaint]

I married my Match.com match on New Year's Eve...but I echo a lot of others...you have to be patient and not get discouraged if you meet some weirdos.

 

[plot_thickens]

oh MAN.

I did internet dating for..um. Ten years? I have some real horror stories. Nearly had to do a restraining order once, he was a total wackjob.

Started looking on places like AOL, non-specific. Got a lot of 'what are you wearing'?

Then took a good look at what I wanted in a partner and got REALLY specific. I can't really list those sites. Erm. Many interests, many sites, many many many weirdoes. One guy spent a lot of time just painting my toenails....

I had some really high expectations back then. Taller than me, deeper voice than me (difficult, I'm an contralto and can sing lower tenor or higher baritone line if we're short men), light-colored eyes, educated, etc etc etc etc. After years of this, the only ones that stuck were "smart, funny, loves me, loves to learn, compatible in many areas".

Chevygirlbeth, I hear ya. Had a drink with this arrogant moron who spent the entire time talking about his MGs and Harvester Scout, ending every sentence with "but you probably wouldn't know what a transmission detante is". I let him wind down (plotting all the while) and then said "It's really sad to see you be so prejudiced against women and machinery. I've replaced everything from the firewall forward in both my 76 el camino and my 67 1/2 mustang, but since you're such an a** I guess you won't want to hear about how easy it is to fit a 250 onto 200 mounting brackets, bumping the HP way up, or what my elkie does on the quarter mile, or what a pain finding the starter on a freaking K-car is. That's kind of a shame, but I'm looking for someone with SIMILAR interests, not someone who assumes I'm an idiot. Have a nice time trying to find someone ELSE who knows about cars. It's obviously your ONLY passion." And then I left.

Then there was the idiot who kept moving closer. Into my personal space. I called him on it, and he agreed -- said it was something he liked to do to women. I told him that's probably why he was still single at his age. Old coot.

I agreed to meet another dude for dinner at my favorite restaurant. He came in late -- I had already ordered edamame and my main course-- and instantly started complaining about his job. Every sentence began with I Me Mine My. After about five paragraphs of getting to know how much he made, the long hours he worked, how underappreciated he was, I called him on it and he agreed and then KEPT DOING IT (why do men do that?!?!?!) . So I pulled out my book and started reading. It took me a while, but eventually I drowned out his voice and was able to concentrate. When my main course arrived, he was no longer across the table from me.

Argh-- then there was the idiot who actually got into a wrestling contest with me and wrenched my shoulder. Never apologized. I just left. He tried to get another date, months later... pleackh! Did I forget to mention he was without muscle tone, potbellied, but wearing his "lucky clothes": a purple croched vest, black satin handmade pants, yellow-and-gray screenprinted T-shirt and a congol hat? Blicky blicky doo doo!

Of course there were a couple of good ones in there. Lots of smiles, some long term relationships. Some fun dates, and fun nights. I learned a lot about me and what I wanted. Craigslist personals was a fantastic way to hone my goals. Wouldn't trade those years for any others, at all.

In the meantime, I put lots of profiles up. That's a good way to net constant input, especially if you're female -- women will net about 20 responses a month on an average free/cheap site while a man can send about 50 "Hi" intro emails and only get 2 responses. I used to answer every email. Some of the guys would write "Nice b**bs wanna hav sum fun?" And I'd give back the standard "Thanks for writing! I've taken a look at your profile and I'm afraid that I'm looking for something else. Rather than waste your time, please let me wish you good luck finding someone who will make you happy." The morons who can't spell (and usually had questionable pictures on his profile) would respond "U fat ***** whod wanna **** your ugly *** neway"

In spite of these sour-grape idiots, I still think it's a great way to have a constant net in the ocean, just in case your fish swims by. And mine did! He spent a year just looking at my profile before he wrote me.

All those years of dating duds and I find my other half. It turns out he's shorter than me, higher voice... many of my earliest 'qualifications' lists would have kicked him out at first glance. But we've been together for going on six years and it's only getting better... for instance, we've had to give up kissing each other goodbye in the mornings, because then we're late to work...

For the record: I'm a fat, genius-level IQ, high-earning professional and had no trouble finding people to hang with, and found The One For Me. I believe that if that's what you want, you can find it too. I'll cross my fingers for you!

Erm. Kinda long post.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Quote:
Actually, I have found this to be true also. It seems the men on those sites (at least in my area) really think they they are going to be hooked up with Barbie. Nevermind that they are well over 40 also and don't look a smidge like Brad Pitt. The ones I met all seemed shocked that I was not 20 and built like a cheerleader (even though I was absolutely honest in my profiles and always posted pics).
I finally gave up and decided not to waste anymore money on it. I'd rather use the cash to buy more chickens and add on another coop!

 

[Reinbeau]

My match.com guy and I will be married for six years on April 19th. I was divorced, working and had no time to find anyone to date, plus when you're 40 something where do you go? Bars? No thanx, I don't drink (ex was an alcoholic, I gave up drinking when he did, then after he left, I had no desire to drink anyways). I tried joining a few clubs and such, but got no where.

The electronic dating scene is funny. The men are all looking for that lithe young hardbody, even though they're waaaay past the Greek Adonis stage themselves

. I put my age criteria at 40-55, no way, they were looking for the 29 year old. I got responses from guys well over 60 and a few from some mid-20's (omg, my eldest son at the time was their age!!). I also corresponded with some really nice guys who admitted they didn't meet my criteria but they thought my picture looked 'pretty'. They were sweet.

Then one day I expanded my circle to 100 miles and found this guy posting from NH (actually he was in Maine but didn't want to sound too far away) who wanted to learn how to can, who liked to garden, camp, canoe, hike, etc. I thought he sounded interesting. I sent him an e-mail and turned away from my monitor for a moment - next thing I heard the 'You've Got Mail" announcement and opened it up - the e-mail was from him! We literally crossed in cyberspace! Oh yea, and he's younger than me, but only by two years

Handsome, too! I'm still amazed at how it all worked.

Match.com is a great way to meet provided you adhere to the rules they have, they're in place for your safety. And be persistent, it wil pay off in the end.

 

[JennsPeeps]

Wanted to add these tips about safety:

1. If you date online, create a new email address you use only for that purpose.
2. Don't give out your last name, place of employment (unless it's some place massive like "I work for Boeing"), phone number, or any other identifying info.
3. Meet for the first few times in a neutral place, like a coffee shop or similar area. Never, ever, EVER let the person drive you anywhere or know where you live.
4. Don't be afraid to say, "this isn't going to work out".

Also important:
* Ask about their friends. If they don't have any, that's a red flag. "REE REE REE run away!!"
* Be open to people who might not fit The List.
* Be honest about yourself. Don't post your high school pic that's 15 years and 40 pounds ago.

DBF is shorter, pudgier, less educated than me, messy, divorced, and has a seriously whacked out family. But he's funnier, more tolerant, kinder, smarter, and more generous than I could have imagined. He's also handy around the car & house, ambitious, friendly, social, thoughtful, and caring. He's learning what it's like to have a family (mine) and what all that means, both good and bad. He's an awesome cheerleader to me, too.

AND he loves loves loves our chickens.

 

[plot_thickens]

And do safety calls! Make sure you have someone who's waiting to hear from you after that first date, or first night, who has your passwords to get all the info.

 

[lorieMN]

I was divorced..living in a small town of 20,000 or so and I believe I already new absolutely everyone in that town,,friend dared me to try e-harmony,so I went with the one month free trial thing..after about a 2 hour questionier..which really does peg a person..I got several emails,I never did put a pic up ,I thought if they dont even want to say hi without a pic I didnt want to waste my time with them,I am not bad looking and in fair shape,but I didnt want someone that based anything on looks right off the bat..talked to several really nice guys,one a cop in north dakota..nice guy..one a real estate guy in north carolina,and some in florida and california..and then two days before my free trial was up I got a email from a guy 6 hours away from me..he was interesting so I had to pay for another month just to keep talking to him and turns out..Hes the one,soul mate,love of my life..and he feels the same,,his friends said they couldnt believe the change in him after we met,they said he is much happier..we ride horse,camp,go on buggy rides,do yard work,work out together..well,we do everything together.We have been together for 4 years and it gets better everyday..