oh MAN.
I did internet dating for..um. Ten years? I have some real horror stories. Nearly had to do a restraining order once, he was a total wackjob.
Started looking on places like AOL, non-specific. Got a lot of 'what are you wearing'?
Then took a good look at what I wanted in a partner and got REALLY specific. I can't really list those sites. Erm. Many interests, many sites, many many many weirdoes. One guy spent a lot of time just painting my toenails....
I had some really high expectations back then. Taller than me, deeper voice than me (difficult, I'm an contralto and can sing lower tenor or higher baritone line if we're short men), light-colored eyes, educated, etc etc etc etc. After years of this, the only ones that stuck were "smart, funny, loves me, loves to learn, compatible in many areas".
Chevygirlbeth, I hear ya. Had a drink with this arrogant moron who spent the entire time talking about his MGs and Harvester Scout, ending every sentence with "but you probably wouldn't know what a transmission detante is". I let him wind down (plotting all the while) and then said "It's really sad to see you be so prejudiced against women and machinery. I've replaced everything from the firewall forward in both my 76 el camino and my 67 1/2 mustang, but since you're such an a** I guess you won't want to hear about how easy it is to fit a 250 onto 200 mounting brackets, bumping the HP way up, or what my elkie does on the quarter mile, or what a pain finding the starter on a freaking K-car is. That's kind of a shame, but I'm looking for someone with SIMILAR interests, not someone who assumes I'm an idiot. Have a nice time trying to find someone ELSE who knows about cars. It's obviously your ONLY passion." And then I left.
Then there was the idiot who kept moving closer. Into my personal space. I called him on it, and he agreed -- said it was something he liked to do to women. I told him that's probably why he was still single at his age. Old coot.
I agreed to meet another dude for dinner at my favorite restaurant. He came in late -- I had already ordered edamame and my main course-- and instantly started complaining about his job. Every sentence began with I Me Mine My. After about five paragraphs of getting to know how much he made, the long hours he worked, how underappreciated he was, I called him on it and he agreed and then KEPT DOING IT (why do men do that?!?!?!) . So I pulled out my book and started reading. It took me a while, but eventually I drowned out his voice and was able to concentrate. When my main course arrived, he was no longer across the table from me.
Argh-- then there was the idiot who actually got into a wrestling contest with me and wrenched my shoulder. Never apologized. I just left. He tried to get another date, months later... pleackh! Did I forget to mention he was without muscle tone, potbellied, but wearing his "lucky clothes": a purple croched vest, black satin handmade pants, yellow-and-gray screenprinted T-shirt and a congol hat? Blicky blicky doo doo!
Of course there were a couple of good ones in there. Lots of smiles, some long term relationships. Some fun dates, and fun nights. I learned a lot about me and what I wanted. Craigslist personals was a fantastic way to hone my goals. Wouldn't trade those years for any others, at all.
In the meantime, I put lots of profiles up. That's a good way to net constant input, especially if you're female -- women will net about 20 responses a month on an average free/cheap site while a man can send about 50 "Hi" intro emails and only get 2 responses. I used to answer every email. Some of the guys would write "Nice b**bs wanna hav sum fun?" And I'd give back the standard "Thanks for writing! I've taken a look at your profile and I'm afraid that I'm looking for something else. Rather than waste your time, please let me wish you good luck finding someone who will make you happy." The morons who can't spell (and usually had questionable pictures on his profile) would respond "U fat ***** whod wanna **** your ugly *** neway"
In spite of these sour-grape idiots, I still think it's a great way to have a constant net in the ocean, just in case your fish swims by. And mine did! He spent a year just looking at my profile before he wrote me.
All those years of dating duds and I find my other half. It turns out he's shorter than me, higher voice... many of my earliest 'qualifications' lists would have kicked him out at first glance. But we've been together for going on six years and it's only getting better... for instance, we've had to give up kissing each other goodbye in the mornings, because then we're late to work...
For the record: I'm a fat, genius-level IQ, high-earning professional and had no trouble finding people to hang with, and found The One For Me. I believe that if that's what you want, you can find it too. I'll cross my fingers for you!
Erm. Kinda long post.
