Online Dating - Who did it work for? FIRST DATE TONIGHT
- Thread starter ~*Sweet Cheeks*~
- Start date
Well???
How did the date go?
How did the date go?
- Thread starter
- #63
VERY NICE guy. We have a lot in common - such as no drama lives even if that means skipping family functions (where there could be drama), doesn't drink coffee, never a smoker, very light drinker, has gone on to make a comfortable life for himself without waiting for a relationship to complete him, doesn't go from relationship to relationship.
HOWEVER - no LOVE or SPARK at first sight. I've never continued to date anyone I wasn't immediately attracted to. In his profile picture, he was wearing a ball cap. I was keeping my fingers crossed he had hair under it. Sat down at the table and he pulls the hat off. If he could read my mind, he would have heard me say to myself 'darn it, he's bald on top'.
Not saying I'm stuck up against men without hair. 3/4 of the men I've dated since my divorce were balding, bald, or shaved their heads. So much so, my youngest sister used to ask when I'd met someone new "does this one have hair"? She used to think I had a thing for baldies. Because there was physical attraction, I thought they were quite sexy.
What has not worked for me in the past was dating men I was extremely attracted to me. Those that had that little bit of bad boy in them. Heavy drinkers or past heavy drinkers, smokers or past smokers. My dad was an alcoholic - very disfunctional family and they say you attract what you know (whether you know it or not).
I'm going to see him again on Saturday.
Anyone out there with experience meeting someone you weren't physically attracted to but you developed attraction later and are happily ever after?
HOWEVER - no LOVE or SPARK at first sight. I've never continued to date anyone I wasn't immediately attracted to. In his profile picture, he was wearing a ball cap. I was keeping my fingers crossed he had hair under it. Sat down at the table and he pulls the hat off. If he could read my mind, he would have heard me say to myself 'darn it, he's bald on top'.
Not saying I'm stuck up against men without hair. 3/4 of the men I've dated since my divorce were balding, bald, or shaved their heads. So much so, my youngest sister used to ask when I'd met someone new "does this one have hair"? She used to think I had a thing for baldies. Because there was physical attraction, I thought they were quite sexy.
What has not worked for me in the past was dating men I was extremely attracted to me. Those that had that little bit of bad boy in them. Heavy drinkers or past heavy drinkers, smokers or past smokers. My dad was an alcoholic - very disfunctional family and they say you attract what you know (whether you know it or not).
I'm going to see him again on Saturday.
Anyone out there with experience meeting someone you weren't physically attracted to but you developed attraction later and are happily ever after?
Yep..had that happen to me too...
The guy i met before my husband..i TRIED to get attracted to the guy... i LIKED him. But..eh.... not like that...
Soo.. finally (and i felt SO bad too)..i had to tell him that i just didnt want to waste anymore of his time.. That i guess i wasnt really "ready" to date again so soon after my Ex....
It hurt him.. and felt like a POS.. but i just couldnt do it... *sigh*
I'd say give it a try..sometimes someone does grow on you.... and you find "other" things that attract you to them...
Cant hurt to see him a few more times and get to know him better...
The guy i met before my husband..i TRIED to get attracted to the guy... i LIKED him. But..eh.... not like that...
Soo.. finally (and i felt SO bad too)..i had to tell him that i just didnt want to waste anymore of his time.. That i guess i wasnt really "ready" to date again so soon after my Ex....
It hurt him.. and felt like a POS.. but i just couldnt do it... *sigh*
I'd say give it a try..sometimes someone does grow on you.... and you find "other" things that attract you to them...
Cant hurt to see him a few more times and get to know him better...
Sounds promising! Boring is good!
Of everyone in my parents generation... and their parents... and their parents...most of them were arranged marriages or some what set up. My grandma tells me of the story that the first time she met grandpa at their wedding, she cried because "he looked like a monkey". They are 88 and 90 this year, and have been married almost 70 years through thick and thin. Out of my grandparents, and of my direct 12 aunts/uncles, only one has had a divorce, and he was one of the few who married for "love".
Go for it! Arranged stuff might work out real well because the people who do the picking can see things the "couple" can't see themselves, and only pick from pools where it would be promising lifestyle and behavior wise.
Of everyone in my parents generation... and their parents... and their parents...most of them were arranged marriages or some what set up. My grandma tells me of the story that the first time she met grandpa at their wedding, she cried because "he looked like a monkey". They are 88 and 90 this year, and have been married almost 70 years through thick and thin. Out of my grandparents, and of my direct 12 aunts/uncles, only one has had a divorce, and he was one of the few who married for "love".
Go for it! Arranged stuff might work out real well because the people who do the picking can see things the "couple" can't see themselves, and only pick from pools where it would be promising lifestyle and behavior wise.
If theres nothing there....
I dated a guy I didn't think very awesome looking, but told myself not to be so hard-hearted.. well 3 months down the road, I still didn't feel much.. and every time I looked at him I was worried he would see distaste on my face
What can you do then but just not look?
But that doesent make for a good relationship...
I dated a guy I didn't think very awesome looking, but told myself not to be so hard-hearted.. well 3 months down the road, I still didn't feel much.. and every time I looked at him I was worried he would see distaste on my face
My DH is the sweetest, most romantic, awesome guy ever. He's not "attractive" in a classic sense. I wouldn't be attracted to him physically except I am thrilled with his personality. When he gets romantic at me, I melt. It's not his face or physique - it's his voice and his manner.
Actually, my 3 longest term relationships (over 10 years each) have been with guys that I would never classify as handsome or classically attractive. They've been cute, in a geeky way, at best. Okay, I take that back - my ex before DH was attractive in a long-hair bad-boy sorta way - although the second time I met him, he had to point out to me that we'd met before!
Again, I ended up attracted to his personality.
Don't make any decisions until you try dancing with him, or seeing him dance. If that doesn't cause sparks, ain't nothin' will. (Love a man who can dance! or cook. or clean house. Or all three. Yeah, I know I'm a dreamer...
)
Good luck with it.
Actually, my 3 longest term relationships (over 10 years each) have been with guys that I would never classify as handsome or classically attractive. They've been cute, in a geeky way, at best. Okay, I take that back - my ex before DH was attractive in a long-hair bad-boy sorta way - although the second time I met him, he had to point out to me that we'd met before!
Don't make any decisions until you try dancing with him, or seeing him dance. If that doesn't cause sparks, ain't nothin' will. (Love a man who can dance! or cook. or clean house. Or all three. Yeah, I know I'm a dreamer...
Good luck with it.
That is one of my biggest problems, I can either be physically attracted or emotionally attracted, but it seems like not both at the same time.
I met my DH of 10 years online. We were introduced by mutual friends and started chatting online, then on the phone and we became the best of friends and 2 years later he propsed. I accepted without even knowing what he looked like. I then flew from Florida to Washington state and married him. Best thing I ever did.
Following 2 horrid marriages which resulting from the dating for years, it amazed me how much better I knew him online and phone than I did the two I dated and saw all the time.
Good luck to you.
Edited to add: Much like Terrielacy after being introduced to him, I later PMd him to tell him I thought he was a nice guy and he should check his b***h because she was a slut and chasing my cousin whenever he was not around...he was very sweet about it and later caught her at it.
Following 2 horrid marriages which resulting from the dating for years, it amazed me how much better I knew him online and phone than I did the two I dated and saw all the time.
Good luck to you.
Edited to add: Much like Terrielacy after being introduced to him, I later PMd him to tell him I thought he was a nice guy and he should check his b***h because she was a slut and chasing my cousin whenever he was not around...he was very sweet about it and later caught her at it.
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Quote:
Bah!! You were lucky..cause your hubby is a cutie...
Bah!! You were lucky..cause your hubby is a cutie...
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