Only 2 in my lifetime

[unbaked pegga]

This is long but I have to tell someone. I am a rabid animal lover and always have been. As I am getting ready to turn 72 that is a lot of love given to me by wild animals, fowl and pets. They symbolize the very best in life. In my lifetime though there have only been 2 that I forged a intense bond with. The first was my chocolate lab "Fudge" who died at 13. If I talk about him for any length of time I still cry and he has been gone 8 years. The other one was my pet buff Orpington "Lily". She died today. She was 3 years old. I loved her so much and she loved me and trusted me. She had been feeling poorly for about a month and I had her to the vet about 3 weeks ago, he gave her antibiotics and I continued them for 10 days then after about a week she acted like she didn't feel good again. I fretted over her, gave her vitamins etc. yesterday when she didn't come out when I opened up the coop I knew something was wrong. She was still on the roost and wouldn't get down. I picked her up and sat her in the yard and she laid around all day. I called five different vets and either they were not in the office because it was Wednesday or they were in surgery or they didn't treat chickens. I didn't sleep hardly at all last night. I got up this morning and gave her some water by syringe. I wanted to tell myself that she was going to be OK because she was still bright eyed and her comb was still red. But by afternoon I went to the grocery store and got her some watermelon and offered her some and she would not touch it and that is her very favorite. I called the vet and they said he is busy but you can get in line. I took her. I talked to her. I had to wait for over an hour and the office was loud with dogs barking, crying, just bedlam. I knew it must have terrified her. I sat her in my lap and stroked her feathers. Went back to the exam room and had to wait another 30 min. The vet came in I told him what was happening and he picked her up and took her back to take her temp and she dropped over. I am so devastated. I have cried all afternoon. If I hadn't taken her to the vet where she would have been exposed to all that stress, maybe she wouldn't have died. She was the alpha hen and the other 4 have been looking and calling for her for the last couple of hours. My daughter doesn't understand how I could be so attached to a "chicken" but she was so much more. So much more

 

[Labradors]

I'm so sorry that you lost Lily. It sounds as if she had a great life with you. They always break our hearts when they have to leave

{{{{Hugs}}}}
Linda

 

[unbaked pegga]

This is the only reply to my thread. But I thank you, so very much. I would have given up all 4 of the others to have kept her. I never thought I would get so attached to a chicken but I lost my husband right after we got her and she helped me get through that time, smiling at her antics and her responding to the love and attention I gave her. She was so special and it will take me a time to get through this, but again, thank you

 

[annarborchicks]

Dear Unbaked Peggy,
Sorry for your loss

I really enjoyed reading your post and surely others were touched by reading it too.
You're blessed to have had such special relationships with Fudge and Lily. May they RIP.

 

[rebrascora]

So very sorry to read that you lost Lily.

Some animals are very easy to bond with and enjoy being "special" whilst most are happy to just be animals. You are lucky that you had such a special relationship with her. Perhaps you might like to make a keepsake of her to remind you of that special bond. I have heard of people making a plaster cast of their favourite chicken's foot print and decorating it with a few of their feathers to make a commemorative plaque. I hope you will be able to remember the good times with Lily and the sad memories will fade. It sounds like she had something major going on that the antibiotics gave her some respite from but would not cure. I can understand why you are upset about the circumstances under which she died, but you were trying to save her life and the likelihood is that she would have died at home if you had not taken her, with you giving yourself a hard time about not going back to the vets. All you can do is your best, with good intentions....which was what you did. Please don't beat yourself up about it as it serves no purpose except to make you feel worse.
That said, if you want some answers, then a necropsy should give you a definitive answer as regards what she was suffering from and perhaps how to treat or prevent it from occurring in any of your other chickens. As a pet however, I can also understand that you might not want such a post mortem procedure carried out. Whichever you decide, I hope that the grief of your loss can be tempered with good memories of the happy times.

 

[MidwayCoop]

I am so so sorry. We never know what other creature is going to touch our hearts and lives in a special way. I had my own Lily, a shepherd mix that was like a part of my heart. I dream of her often.
I had a very special chicken when I was a girl, Karana, a sweet little bantam hen. She was so trusting and sweet, I grieved for her a long time after she was gone.
I wonder if losing Lily is also bringing up the loss and grief of losing your husband, too- since she was part of what helped you learn to laugh again after his loss.

For what it's worth, I don't think that taking her to the vet was the cause of her death. Sure, we may regret decisions like that, and she may have been stressed by it, but you did it out of love and because you wanted to help her. You should not feel guilty for that. And you were with her the whole time, which was a great comfort to her, I'm sure of that.
Likely whatever it was would have taken her, whether you went to the vet's or not. You did all you could, much more than some would have done, and I don't know of anything you could have done differently. I know that every time I lose I pet (I'm also a rabid animal lover like you, and unfortunately, when you have pets, a sad reality is that you almost always outlive them ), I go over and over what I could have done differently, better, etc.-- and some reflection is good, we want to learn for the next time. But there definitely comes a point where we're no longer benefiting from going over the same old facts, and need to forgive ourselves any wrongs (often imagined by our own worst critics, ourselves), and try to pick up the pieces and move on with our grief.

I know this is a fresh hurt, so you may just need a little more time. Lily was special to you, and you loved her, and now she is gone. That leaves a hole and an ache, and I'm so sorry to say that I understand that ache (I'm sure many here do), and though it never heals fully, time helps, and eventually, just like with other animals and even people we lose, we can remember the precious time we had with them and it may be a balm to our grief.
Take care of yourself, and let your body feel what it needs to feel.

"All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made them all.

Each little flower that opens,
Each little bird that sings,
He made their glowing colours,
He made their tiny wings"