Other people's kids! Aaaagh!

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

A year or so ago DD1 invited a girl over for a play date that did not go well. The mom said she had no diet restrictions (I always ask) so I planned on the girls making cookies together. Then kid says she is not allowed sweets and proceeds to pitch a fit that she's not allowed to eat the cookies.

So we don't invite her over again. A year goes by and DD still likes this girl. So this weekend we told them to each invite two friends for an overnight movie campout for their birthdays (my dds are close together) DD invites this kid. Mom calls last night and says she wants to drop kid off at 10:00 AM and not pick her up till the next day as she and hubby will go away fro the night.

DD1 tells me this kid still is not allowed sweets and other "junk" food and that she is always telling the other kids that their food will kill them. This is a Birthday party. I was planning ice cream and cake and popcorn etc.... It isn't every day fare, its a party. I seriously do not want to deal with this kid for 24 hours!

But, DH thinks the parents see themselves as doing us a favor by letting their kid come when they were not going to be home.....

This girl is 9. She's taller than me and wears a bra. How far do I need to go to accomodate her "dietary restrictions"? Dh said she is older now and I should assume the best. I have listened to DD talk about her all year and I think she's a nasty brat. WHy DD likes her is a mystery to me.

What to do??!

 

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

gently "suggest" that your dd pick another friend. Bribe her if you have to

There is a certain girl in my dd's class that there is NO WAY I will let her have over again. EVER.

As far as dropping the kid off earlier. Well. Did you state in your invite that the party begins at a certain time? If you did then you are under no obligation to take the kid any earlier. If you do still go through with this call the mom and ask her to send the kid with food she will/can eat. And make sure you have a phone number the parents can be reached at just in case the kid wants to go home.

 

[agnes_day]

pffff, i would tell the kid to deal with it and eat what you have on hand.
if she doesnt like it, she can go without or go home.

 

[Judy]

Sounds like you are stuck with her, as she's been invited, and you've evidently agreed to the 24 hour visit. I'd certainly have the cake and such, but I'd also offer alternatives, hamburgers and mac and cheese, or pizza, or something of the sort, and let everyone eat what they want. If she starts fussing about not being able to eat sweets, I'd just say, you are free to eat what you wish. If she got too pushy with her remarks about what others are eating, I would not be above saying something like, in this house we don't feel it's polite to comment on what others wish to eat. Maybe she'll at least shut up about it in front of you.

If you have not agreed to the 24 hour visit, no reason not to decline, and you only need to say you won't be available. No one's business that you will be watching movies instead. I imagine they are going out of town BECAUSE the child will not be there.

 

[Thomas423]

Those are not dietary restrictions they are dietary choices. Good choices probably but there is nothing wrong with a little cake and ice cream too. Have some healthy snacks too and then let her chose what she wants. I wouldn't go too far with it though because any parent knows that birthday party means cake and ice cream. If she doesn't eat for 24 hours, she'll survive and not want to come back LOL.

Also, make sure you find out where the parents are going and who to contact "in case of emergency".

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

Rhett&SarahsMom :

gently "suggest" that your dd pick another friend. Bribe her if you have to

There is a certain girl in my dd's class that there is NO WAY I will let her have over again. EVER.

As far as dropping the kid off earlier. Well. Did you state in your invite that the party begins at a certain time? If you did then you are under no obligation to take the kid any earlier. If you do still go through with this call the mom and ask her to send the kid with food she will/can eat. And make sure you have a phone number the parents can be reached at just in case the kid wants to go home.

I agree with most of this and had I been the one that had talked to Mom the answer would have been, "Gee I am sorry looks like she'll have to miss it." and would have been relieved to get out of it. But, DH got the call and said, "Sure!"

 

[wegotchickens]

Quote:
Agreed. Your child likes this brat, so tolerating her for 24 hours is your gift to your child. Present the foods you planned.

Personally, I would have a veggie/fruit/cheese tray as a back up, though. Healthy snacks can be offered without it ruining the fun. And you being so thoughtful will probably be noticed by your daughter

But otherwise, do exactly as you planned!

 

[sparkles2307]

#1, SO glad I have boys and not girls!
#2, SO glad my kids are too young for all that crap
#3, the reason I wont be having sleepovers or other ppl's kids over if I can help it. I dont deal well with other ppls kids...never have. Can get up to my elbows in my own kids' dirty diapers but if anyone else's kid even drools on me its like I need to do a hazmat decon... we will be doing the kind of b-day parties where the parents drop off and pick up their own offspring...

Good luck. I had a best friend who was lactose intollerant, came to my bday party and ate ice cream anyways, then puked all over the table.....

 

[Davaroo]

Like DH, I rarely ever fussed over which kid came over. Make sure I have the parents contact information on hand and bring 'em around. But, there's a caveat. I've said all of these at one point in time or another, to both the kids and the parents:

"Here's the food - eat it or don't.
No special diets here unless it can be proven it will kill you.
In writing, from a doctor.
Here's where you sleep - sleep or don't.
Here's the bathroom - use it or hold it.
No complaining and no messes.
No calling me 'dude', or 'hey' - it's Mr. to you.

No other special considerations are forthcoming. You will be treated like any other child, while you are in this house.

If your parents are caught up in their own little world of choice and decision making, and allow you into their process - fine.
But you aint at home, you are here.

Since I am the adult here, as in "grownup," I make the decisions. If you cannot abide by that, call your parents and have them come retrieve you from my wicked clutches. You have two minutes to decide. Here's the phone."
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Most of the parents were pleased that I stood on this ground. "'About time I met a parent with some sense," one mom told me. As for the rest - whatever.
One kid did actually call and the parents actually came and got her - at about 10pm, as I recall.

Remember this: All other things being equal, Ruined child = Foolish parent

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

You and my DH would get along great!! I think he thinks he'll be able to handle little Miss, I suspect it'll be a ten o'clock come get me call.......



Or maybe it'll be a ten o'clock come get ME call!!